Symbiotic Relationships
Symbiosis is defined as a mutually beneficial relationship
between different people or groups. Today, I’m going to focus on symbiosis in
Intimate Relationships.
Living organisms require
symbiotic relationships in nature a great deal. Sea anemones, for example,
hitchhike on the back of hermit crabs and extend their tentacles to eat the
crab’s leftovers.
Coral has a fairly easy
life. It just sits back and lets specially adapted algae make much of its
energy for it. The algae lives in the coral, feasting on waste products.
In intimate bonds we
often adapt our lives to create symbiotic relationships with our partners. In
healthy respects, this symbiosis can be a true sign of love. For instance, if
one person in the relationship lacks an understanding of numbers and other is a
great cook, one might balance the checkbook, while the other is making dinner.
If one person loves gardening and the other would prefer to do housework, then
this give-and-take would work perfectly to have a harmonious and equal balance
in responsibility in relationship.
However, there is also a
kind of symbiosis that isn’t so healthy in nature. For instance, “the African oxpecker feeds on the backs of zebras,
elephants, and other large African animals. At first glance, this bird looks
like a friendly tick-eating helper. However, oxpeckers are actually vampire birds, sucking blood out of open
tick-wounds. This shows how the line between symbiotic assistance and parasite
can be blurred. Oxpeckers do eat
ticks as well, and some animals may be happy to sacrifice a bit of blood for
this service” (Cosmos Magazine, December, 2010).
In
interpersonal relationships this kind of vampire symbiosis or parasitic
relationship might be expressed as one partner leaving the laundry in the dryer
for two days waiting for the other to fold it. Or using the love and dedication
of one partner’s need to keep everything tidy in the home, by leaving for a day
at work with clothes on the floor and the bathroom disheveled.
This,
of course, is an unhealthy symbiosis. Unfortunately, most relationships end up
with a misuse of each other’s initial desires to help and end up becoming
vampires instead of balanced lovers. In such relationships you need to simply
speak up and create balance or stasis once again. If you haven’t, you are going
to spend the rest of your days pissed off at your partner.
Love
is about communication. Yes, relationship does require give and take and healthy
symbiosis, but a misuse of another person’s dedication to you is not a way to
express love in any form. If you find yourself on either side of this paradigm,
I recommend you visit this issue soon, otherwise, it’s going to turn around and
bite you in the tick wound and leach some blood.
Peace.
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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