Teaching Children to Hate

Teaching Children to Hate

I was really rallied today when I read of a cult Baptist group planning to picket the funerals of the deceased in the Boston Marathon bombings. Their reason was because they felt that God was paying Boston back for their patronage to gay people—providing the gay marriage law.

I remember one day going to a rally in Nashville in support of gay rights in the work place. A supposed “Christian” group showed up with their young children holding signs that even I was embarrassed to read. A ten-year-old child was holding one—a sign with gay slurs and propaganda that was just downright disgusting. But the worst of it was that the parents dragged their innocent children into their hate.

I’m not one to complain about things without having a suggestion to create positive change. So, let’s think of a way together to rally against this kind of hate. There is no one reading this who doesn’t have someone in his/her life who isn’t GLBT. I don’t care if you don’t know it; you have someone in your life who is gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender. The only reason you wouldn’t know you have a GLBT person in your life, would be the fact that you are discriminatory and your family member or friend or employee knows you are and is afraid to come out to you.

I had a partner for years whose Dad never knew his son was gay. Why, you may ask? Because the son knew he was a Baptist minister and preached against gays in the pulpit. He loved his parents and didn’t want them to have to learn a hard lesson, I guess, because, as far as I know, he still has never told them.

I can’t be the judge or jury behind staying in the closet or coming out. We all have our reasons for doing both, but remember the name of my blog is Finding Authentic You. I don’t think there is anything authentic about hiding behind closet doors and proclaiming you are something you are not. It takes way too much energy to hide your true self in life. We simply just don’t that kind of time.

Look at the chance my exes’ parents could have had to learn about God’s love. Who really is going to kick their favorite son out of his/her life because he is gay? Well, you know I have known a few parent in my life who have done so. But, eventually, one or both parents find his or her way back to the child, because that kind of love is made in the forever category. I can’t speak for everyone in the world, but I would say that most parents would eventually find a way to deal with their child being gay. Especially today where it is one hundred times easier to be out than it was when I was a child. Gay people announce the news, the weather, act, sing, decorate our houses, play organ and piano for churches, dress us, and do our hair.  Please, what would we do without gay people in this world?

In my case, I came out because I simply thought, I have to be real. I had a partner I loved and wanted him to share in my family’s functions. I thought, I can live without the love my parents if they don’t accept me. And they actually didn’t for quite some time. But I cannot live behind a curtain of disguises for every person I meet.

I am one of the luckier ones whose father finally got the love message on his deathbed. He took the hand of my ex and mine. He said, “Michael, do you love Bo?”

Michael answered, “Yes.”

Then he asked me the same question. I answered, “yes,” as well.

My father then said, “Good. Because that’s all that counts in this world.” In about three days he was gone.

My mother, on the other hand, has come 360° from the day I told her, laying on her bed while she was getting dressed for a night out country line dancing. She looked at me and said, “Son, you think your mother’s a fool?”

We both laughed a bit. She then became a bit religious a few years later. The entire family came down on me hard at a time, saying they wished that I were straight and could have a family some day—that God would want that. But eventually, they decided it was way too difficult to fight the inevitable. It was either accept what was or be denied a pass to a good son’s and sibling’s life.

My mom now lives with me. Her favorite statement is: “I have never met a gay person I didn’t like.”

I say, “Way to go, LaVerne!”

The way to help people become accepting is first to accept yourself for who you are. Then begin to accept others without judgment. It is a hard row to hoe, I know. But it is the way of God, the way of spirituality. If you truly believe in your religion, I believe you will find somewhere in the scriptures, “Judge not, that you should also be judged!”

(This is, of course, not including behaviors that inflict harm on others. I’m speaking about behaviors like relationships and lifestyles in general.)

I know I’m not perfect. As one who understand and knows my faults, I need to not only accept others, but encourage others to be their authentic selves, no matter what I think personally about their ethics or behavior.

When we do this, we liberate others and ourselves. Eventually, we may liberate the world!

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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