Saturday, April 27, 2013

How Do You Know When Relationship Is Right?


Last night I went on a second date with someone who treated me with honor, compassion, intelligence and just plain authenticity. How wonderful to be looked at as a person, rather than an object.

But, you know, even when someone is wonderful and fascinating, it may not be the perfect person for you. That’s why we date. Just get it out of your mind that every person you like has to be the right person. Think about all the attributes about that person that must collide with your life to create a permanent commitment such as an intimate relationship.

  • You have to be on the same page—at the same time—about wanting a relationship.
  • You have to be attracted to one another.
  • Beyond attraction, you must have a physical connection that chemically glues you together.
  • You have to be able to live in the same city eventually.
  • You have to generally co-abide; which brings about a slew of needs:
  • Can he cook?
  • Can he do laundry?
  • Is she a slob?
  • Does she pick up after herself?
  • Does he/she make enough money to support the relationship?
  • Does his demeanor merge with yours?
  • Are you one who needs space and is she one who wants to be up the end of your spinal column?
  • Do you have political differences?
  • Do you have religious beliefs that interconnect?
  • Can you put up with her relatives?
  • Does she wear perfume that gives you a headache?
  • Etc.



We’re talking lots and lots of things must be right for a relationship to blossom and grow, least of which attraction. Most of the things that I listed above have to be in place for a relationship to really emerge from the chaos of the dating pool. My point is that we must stop expecting every trial period (dating) to be the magical one that will sweep us off of our feet.

I also think there is one more fascinating connection that must exist. No one can make this happen but the universe, God or Spirit. The magic that draws two lives together is what I refer to now.

I’ll give you an example. Your name is Joe. You have a dog named Rover. You go to your boyfriend’s house after knowing him a couple weeks and ask him for his WIFI password. He tells you: JoRover1. He tells you he made up the password years ago. You would have to imagine that something magical is stirring in the spirit world for a synchronistic event like that to occur. That’s the kind of connection that feels as if destiny has come to visit you.

When you discover that your paths are merging without your effort and most of the other attributes from above are in place and compatible, I believe you may have found a keeper.



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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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