Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Assumptions and Anxiety #assumptions #byronkatie #selfinquiry #anxiety #stress #spiritualadvice

A famous author, Byron Katie, wrote a book called “Loving What Is,” about self-inquiry that completely destroys the illusion of assumptions. The premise is that you ask yourself questions about your own assumptions by saying to yourself, “Do I really know this is true?”

If your mind is anything like mine, it says, “Of course, it’s true. I thought it. It must be true!”
Then you ask your mind again, with more authenticity, “Do you absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt know that this is what MY BOSS or MY PARTNER is thinking?”

Of course, no sane person without a crystal ball and Quaaludes can tell what another is thinking; so you have to admit to yourself that you are in the dark; that your assumptions are, at best, speculation; and that you are operating on a misinformed premise. When you get this far in the self-inquiry, Byron feels you must poke holes in your own premise even further. Turn the question around. “Why do you think this? Are you holding fear about something?”

Suddenly, your assumptions become a way to grow spiritual, and, perhaps, learn to operate on reality instead of something going on in your head that you’ve nurtured, grown, and even given the right to bear fruit.

Life is constantly handing us opportunities to grow. One important way to grow more authentically is to never make assumptions about anyone. You’ve heard the old saying, “When you assume, you make an ASS-U-ME.” Honestly, I think it makes an ass more of yourself, because the other person probably didn’t even consider what you were doing or thinking when you created an entire novel about a situation that had no bearing on the truth.

Today, try to go the day without assumptions. Even more importantly, if you feel someone has done something or feels something that has you wondering something negative, pick up the phone and call—or even better, pay them that important visit. Even if the person has an issue with you, you now have the perfect opportunity to make amends.

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