Tripping
on Duality
I
think myself an authentic man with wise principals, but often I fall short of
them. Sometimes I get stuck between two opposing truths, equally strong, and I
can’t decide what is right or wrong.
For
instance, I know someone I love has a cheating partner. Do I tell my dear
friend and risk getting involved where I’m not intended to be? Or do I go to
the cheating partner and bare my heart? Or do I simply shut my mouth and do
nothing?
Another
for instance: I meet a very nice person and want to get to know him. The
relationship is young—two or three dates. At almost the same time I meet the
first individual, I meet someone else who is equally intriguing and nice. I
decided to get to know them simultaneously, because I operate on the idea that
I have made no commitment to either, nor am I involved enough to make a clear
decision which, if either, is a good match.
I
decide to date them both. Coincidentally or by Divine Intent, they both end up
at the same small dinner party of 10. What is the lesson I’m to learn here?
I
explained the situation to a dear friend before I was faced with a harsh
reality of the two worlds colliding. His sage advice was to tell the truth to
both of them. At the same lunch, two other friends disagreed. They suggested
that neither of the guys I was dating know each other and that it would be in
my best interest to protect my own heart by investigating both possibilities,
not considering theirs.
But
then there is the terrible uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that
I have done something terribly wrong. I’m not on this earth to “play” people
and treat them as pawns. I wonder about the entire dating process now. Can we
intentionally take one person seriously if we are halfway involved with
another? What is this, “The Bachelor?”
Dating
is a strange and peculiar paradigm, especially at an old age, when the last
thing you want to bring into your life is drama. I went to see the musical
“Baby” last night. In one scene a young woman struggles to get pregnant with
her husband, whose sperm isn’t working really well. They get exhausted by the
ritualistic sex they must have to bare a child and lose any sense of intimacy
in their relationship. The woman finds herself singing, “I have to feel. I
can’t just breed…. I simply need... romance. The one thing in life which is
simply worth living.”
Dating,
some believe, is a ploy to make the planet populated. We desire each other to
keep the population growing. That is why these feelings are in our hearts to be
dating and falling in love. It’s in our human DNA. Yet, our hearts get
entangled in webs of desire and needs. We lose sight of the idea that maybe,
just maybe, there is a higher purpose for our lives and for our relationships.
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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