If you are old enough to have had a relationship or two… (or three or ten), then you already know that opening your heart to love also allows your heart to be broken when someone handles you as if you were made of an unbreakable substance.
When you have suffered from a bad relationship, you generally make laws against the same bad behavior and build walls to protect you from that same hurt from happening once again. This protective act is not necessarily a bad thing. But what of the person that has had his/her heart broken so many times that he or she has built so many walls of protection that, now, a big sign exists on her forehead that says: DO NOT ENTER—EVER?
After decades of declining marriage rates and changes in family structure, the share of American adults who have never been married is at an historic high. In 2012, one-in-five adults ages 25 and older (about 42 million people) had never been married. In 1960, only about one-in-ten adults (9%) in that age range had never been married.
Men are more likely than women to have never been married (23% vs. 17% in 2012). This gender gap has widened since 1960, when 10% of men ages 25 and older and 8% of women of the same age had never married. (Power Research Center, 2014)
These trends lead me to believe that more than just choosing careers over relationship are causing people to think twice before buying into the idea that committed relationship is naturally a part of a happy life. In fact, as sex APPs on cell phones are becoming more and more popular, it is easier to have sex delivered to your front door than it is a pizza (thanks, Dr. Chris for that metaphor)!
Psychologically, we all want security and peace, but we look for it in untraditional ways, as of late. Is this because we enjoy the variety, our liberty, or because our hearts have been broken too many times?
I know of one 55-year-old woman who has never been married, nor has she ever had a stable relationship in her entire life. As I have lived on the periphery of her life for many years, I have watched as her sense of need changes, and how much less time she spends searching for a mate, now, and more time she spends looking for authentic relationships (with men and women). She feels, as do I, that, eventually, her authentic movement forward to find right and truthful friendships will lead her to someone special. More importantly, that someone special will have the necessary ability to be open, honest, and transparent.
So, the question bears asking: Are our walls that we build from our hurt—helping us, or hurting us, in our desire to find right relationship?
Here is the litmus test: If you find that someone appears to be a good person, attractive to you, and resonates with you spiritually and mentally, and you are not able to open your heart to the possibility of relationship—then your walls have become too high. This, however, can just be a sign that it is time to start removing the bricks around you—one by one—that have kept you safe from hurt.
No one is asking you to hire a wrecking ball to break down your walls. That would be harmful to your spirit and mind. But, taking time to open your heart is imperative to have authentic relationships. Two hearts cannot completely communicate when a metaphoric wall is between them. Remember this important fact:
If you build up a wall around you because of hurt, you not only keep bad relationship away, but you also keep good people away, and more importantly, the spirit of God from flowing through you easily and freely.
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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in January 2016!
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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.
You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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