I live around my nieces and nephews, so I have been spending a great deal of time around other young adults, subject to their views and comments about life. I have witnessed how parents these days are much more loving than when I was a child and much more supportive of their children’s emotions. This unconditional love teaches them to have so much more confidence to learn. However, they end up needing stronger boundaries and are more influenced by the parent’s behavior than you may think.
I want to focus in on some of the ways we influence our children unconsciously and speak words to them that are intended to comfort, but may emotionally distort their view of what healthy thinking should be for them. For instance: a mother may be tending to a sick child. In doing so, may say, “Ah, poor baby, Mommy’s here. I’m sorry you’re so sick, poor thing. Mommy is here to help you.”
Though all of that sentence, to the ears of someone who doesn’t practice metaphysical spirituality might be perfectly sound and comforting, we have to look deeper at what the child actually hears is: “You are Poor, Poor, Sick, Sick! Mommy loves you anyway.”
Recognizing this and changing your words is this simple. Say, instead: “My sweet and beautifully-made child, Mommy is here always seeing you completely healthy. I know already that your body is healing even as I touch your beautiful face, now! I see you already going out to play with your friends and having fun.” Then, simply treat the child with any prescribed medicines and affirm that you are always there for them as a comforter. Do you see the difference in the approach?
Nowhere in the comforting words is anything affirming the sickness of the child. Children are so open to suggestion that your words can place an amazing challenge to their tiny minds. Children feel your desire to comfort them, but hear you saying they are sick and poor. Your words can insist that they are whole and well, instead, which would make a child begin to believe it and heal much quicker than the opposite kind of caring.
Creating stronger boundaries around what a child can and cannot say to you, as the adult and parent, is also paramount in raising a strong adult. You may be in a situation where a child sasses you. The reason why you are in this situation is because you have let this scenario happen too often. In fact, a close friend watched some bad behavior from another child and parent, and she explained to me her take on the behavior, which I thought was the correct choice.
She said, “Once, my son said something like that to me, and I pinched his arm very hard and said, ‘If you ever speak to me like that again, you will spend a week in your bedroom with no TV, no computer, and no games!
“Fine,” the child answered back and slammed his bedroom door.
The mother opened the door and said, “If you ever do that again, I will take this door off of the hinge, remove it, and you will never have a door to close again!”
The child then apologized.
You see, a child will continue to act out, especially teenagers, until they see how far they can go. If the metaphorical leash is too long, you risk them being too far away from you to protect them. Keep good boundaries. It maybe difficult, at first, but you are the only one responsible for creating a healthy adult here. You can’t expect teachers at school and coaches to do your chores for you.
Here’s a great, healthy, and open-minded new generation of adults ready to change the world for the good!
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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.
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