Why Do I Get in the Way of My Dreams?

I had been praying and doing spiritual mind treatment for many things in my life, including finances, great opportunities to use my talents, friendships, relationships, and actually rebuilding my entire life in a new place. So, I’ve spent much of my time actualizing my dreams—working toward them. As I see the seeds I’ve sewn begin to bloom, I noticed that I am not so excited about getting up to watch the magnificence of God’s action open its beautiful petals to the universe. Instead, I see some fear begin to rise as opportunities, auditions, performances, and new relationships present themselves. I asked myself an important question in the midst of all this: Why am I trying to get in the way of my dreams?

One very disturbing thought popped into my mind: I’m not ready! Or, even worse, as I deliberated with that thought: I’m not good enough! I’m afraid of failure! (It’s as if the seeds God tended to, raised from seedlings, and are now ready to bloom, just don’t have the sunshine or water to get the vital energy to manifest!)

I thought, Really! After you have spent the last seven months reworking your life, getting rid of the dross, taking deliberate steps to create a better life; when God hands you your dream, you find that you are not ready? Why?

Suddenly, I faced the fear that has been keeping me from being the best and most successful person I can be my entire life. I realize that this little boy inside of me is still scared of the dark—frightened of what he doesn’t know. Most importantly, he is quite afraid of losing. He may even be more comfortable standing still than moving forward into unchartered territory.

I have a dear friend who gets very frightened when she doesn’t know directions to a new place. If you drive in a car with her, you will actually notice she begins to sweat, as she mutters, “Oh, my God, what if I make a wrong turn. I’ll never find my way back here. How will I get home?” Before the dawn of GPS, I could understand this problem. But, now, as getting lost is almost an impossibility, even in the largest cities, I find the fear completely irrational.

Yesterday, as I drove with her, we turned on the GPS and as the voice gently guided her through each turn, I said, “You can’t expect your mind to be able to think clearly, when you clutter it with so many thoughts from the past and even into the future.” I didn’t judge her thoughts as fearful. “You simply need to listen to one direction at a time and do it. Stay in the now and see if you feel less tense.” Immediately, she began to feel more at ease in the driving to an interview for the next day.

As I deliberate my own self-sabotage, I have to take my own advice that I gave my friend. Take one step at a time forward. Life simply won’t feel so frightening.

I had a new seminar happening this week—the first one from my book “Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior.” I am singing four solos, which I have to memorize, for a huge celebration at church. I am in rehearsal with 12 new songs to learn for a Christmas show. And I have had many auditions peppered into this mix from my new acting agent. On top of all of it, I have family commitments, friend commitments, and a new relationship budding.

Life is full. If I let all of it come at once, of course, it will appear frightening. I remember the old Christie Lane song: “One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus.” One moment at a time, I can actually deal with on a great and peaceful basis. “I got this covered! I know I can do this! I have practiced my entire life for this moment!” These are the encouraging thoughts we must say to ourselves in moments like these.

Let God’s flowers bloom in your life. Don’t be afraid of success. You are made for success, in the image of God. You are meant to shine the light of power and truth brightly into the world. That’s what you’re here on this earth to do. Don’t let the shadows scare you. Remember: “If you are seeing a shadow, you’re not facing the light!”

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Feeling Less than Enough

Anxiety in the form of Anxious Attachment often leads to feelings that we are not enough for someone, not qualified for a job, or even righteous enough to attain a beautiful, loving relationship. The struggle in life to attach to anything that poses as a threat to our own self-esteem is usually the catalyst for Anxious Attachment. This presents as the feeling of being not enough; trying to please someone else, before you tend to your own needs; and a basic fear of abandonment in almost every loving situation.

I learned this lesson in my own life as I once fell head over heals in love with a friend. In every way the friendship was powerful spiritually, mentally, and may have been the best friend I had ever had. However, somewhere in the relating, my mind decided that I needed this man—this friend—to desire me to be his mate. As a result, 50% of my time with this person began to transform into displaying my pretty feathers like a peacock would before he mates. When I wasn’t with him, my mind raced even more, looking for ways to change this man’s desire to be with me in an intimate relationship.

What caught me so off guard in the process was that I lost energy in every part of my life as I left my authentic self to pursue something that was never mine to attain. When I reached down deep into my soul, after many nights of struggle, I asked three important questions:

1. What is happening here?
2. What am I doing to stop the lesson Spirit has for me?
3. What gift do I bring to this situation?

The first question is the most important, because no one can hide from his/her own misplaced intentions. Even if you start with an old story that doesn’t become you—even if you know that you don’t want to act this way anymore—you still must face the current situation with complete honesty.

Then, you are ready to answer the second question. I realized that what I was doing to stop my growth was to waste energy on something that I didn’t even want. Everything inside of me knew that a relationship with that friend would be a disaster. We were so much alike that the combination of both of our sensitivity took up the majority of our time relating.

The third question was the easiest to answer. As I learn my authentic lessons in life, I am able to heal old patterns in myself. I am able to relate to others with completely authenticity. And I consistently regain power that I have lost trying to live out my “Old Story” of Anxious Attachment.

As a result of this lesson, my friendship with this man became more powerful than ever. And, most importantly, I took that energy and gave it to a loving, intimate relationship that fulfills me in so many wonderful ways. Also, as a result, I took the power I wasted and placed in parts of my life that needed developing.

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

Believing in Your Limitations

If a perfect stranger were to come up to you and say that you are the prettiest or most handsome person he/she had ever seen, would you be inclined to believe that person? If you gave a speech or a presentation, and everyone in the room gave you a standing ovation, would you embrace their praise or feel like crawling into a hole? Are you the type of person that often says, “No, really?” to a compliment? If you answered yes to one of more of these questions, then, perhaps today is a good day to tell you that you are all that and more! It’s time to start believing in your good, especially if you expect others to have faith in you and your expertise.

I have been talking a great deal about “your story.” What you believe about yourself often differs greatly from what others perceive about you. It would surprise most people in my life that I used to consider myself a very shy person. Most of my friends and people who kn0w me as a speaker and singer would think that this “story” about myself couldn’t possibly be true. I would agonize over performing and speaking. My stomach would ache for days before a gig. Most often, I had the professional expertise to pull off the performance, but I never felt good about what I had achieved. I would pick the one tiny flaw and make it larger than life.

I remember, early on in my career as a singer, it was my first time singing on a professional stage. I was a senior in high school, performing at the Governor’s School for the Arts. My friend, Tim, who is now a professor at the Escuola di Musica in Rome, convinced me to sing and play the piano for a cabaret he directed. I was the first to perform.

I sat at the piano and began to play the introduction of “What I Did for Love.” In the second stanza, my voice cracked on a high note. I was so embarrassed that I almost got up from the piano and ran back to my dormitory. A hush rolled over the audience, as I regained my composure. I started the song from the beginning. I remember deciding that I would do my best to finish the song with as much gusto as I could possibly gather.

At the end of the song, to my surprise, the audience gave me my first standing ovation. Even though I still wanted to crawl under a rock, I had to recognize that, sometimes—actually, most times—an audience is more concerned about the message a performer communicates, rather than the vocal performance. So, I held my head up high and listened uncomfortably to the rest of the show, replaying the horror of that moment so many times in my mind that I had no recollection of the rest of the evening.

The next day, I got so many compliments that I stopped counting. Still, I found it difficult to believe that my performance was good. Especially if you have been in a situation as a child where you had one or both parents often being critical, self-esteem is hard to garner, even in the face of success. You have to work hard at creating a new story, instead of replaying your childhood over and over again in your mind.

Today is a new day. You are a gift, a bright light to the world. Start sharing that gift by recognizing that you are a part of God. God doesn’t reject itself. God doesn’t make imperfection. God creates replicas of Itself!

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

Fortunately, For Me #Prosperity

I used to dabble in any hobby, sport, activity, language that I had never tried before, always wanting to set the boundaries of my life far past what was comfortable. In doing so, my purview expanded, my paradigm changed, and even my basic beliefs about God and politics took a huge U-turn, many times. I find that most people think they are open to change but have no desire to bend with the wind and rely on their strong roots to hold them in place during a storm. Fortunately, for me, my roots must have been planted in cement. Though, the effects of change challenged every corpuscle of my being, the roots, themselves, were stuck.

I would find that as I prayed and believed for prosperity and truth to be the burgeoning force coming from my life, I felt as though, I never reached my hubris. Something was amiss between my belief and the expression of it—the effect was not the measure of the cause. I had so much more I wanted to express and be, than what I was actualizing in my life!

I spent many years discussing, praying, therapizing, and studying about why this apparent collapse in force was so in my life. My conclusion came as a result of the most profound belief I have ever had in being created in the image of God. God is Power, not Force! Force takes an equal and opposite push. Power emanates from within and is an expression of the cause resulting from my belief in myself and in God.

One morning, after my meditation, I absolutely knew that I was made in the image of Creator, now fully an adult spirit, ready to create in ways unimaginable to most. I felt surges of life and incongruent energy flooding my mind, daily, ready to find a way of expression through me. I couldn’t wait to get to the computer to write and write and write, until I became thirsty for the living water, flowing freely.

I knew that what I wrote was coming directly from God—no question. However, when I set out to market the books, find an agent and publisher, my belief about God being the source of my inspiration suddenly stopped. I questioned every word I had written. When a negative response came back in the mail from a publisher or agent, I found myself unable to believe that God could produce an unsuccessful writer. Had Spirit been the inspiration behind what I wrote, wouldn’t each book be a success in the market? I would use this argument to self-deprecate and deny my connection with God.

What I had realized, looking back, was that those days of writing from the source were the beginning of my journey toward understanding my spiritual connectivity and power. This path toward truth would take me to many stops along the way to uproot old beliefs and reseed my life with the power God has designated for me and for you.

Fortunately, for all of us, though some of our roots have to be pulled up, we all have “the kingdom of God within us.” So, everything on the path of life is made of Spirit. We are all made in the image of the Hero’s story—facing obstacles through life to strengthen us, only to triumph at the end. That’s the power that makes each of us. If we focus solely on that power, we are successful.

 

Coming Up: Learning to Create a Better and more Abundant Life!

***

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

Who’s Your Daddy? #fathersday, #father #dads #self-esteem #dreamanalysis #jung

Who’s Your Daddy?
#fathersday, #father #dads #self-esteem

Many people joke about being arrested and the gay behavior or mistreatment that follows, as straight inmates tend to take “not so straight men” as their bitches, leading me to my title today. I had a recurring dream last night that I was being arrested for something I didn’t do. In the dream I was riding a bicycle through my old neighborhood where I grew up. Where there used to be a park adjacent to St. Philomena’s Catholic church, I began to ride my bicycle onto the pavement of the park. As I entered a gated area, I noticed that everyone in the park was in the middle of a baseball game. All men—burly, masculine men—stared at me, as if I didn’t belong there. Suddenly, I saw the signs on the fence: Police Academy, PRIVATE PROPERTY. I apologized with a grandiose “sorry” and quickly exited. But, to my dismay, one man who looked at me with hateful eyes, arrested me. When I got to the booking area, I was told that I had many priors and was being held because of suspicious behavior.

I searched my pocket for my IPhone to call the meanest and harshest lawyer friend I knew. Before she could arrive, I was led back to a cell, kicking and yelling. That’s when the dream ended. Before my father died, he told me that I was to carry his mantle, somewhat like “Joseph, and the Amazing Colored Dream Coat.” He said, “Now, it’s your turn to take care of your mother and four sisters!” My father didn’t ask me to begin this journey of responsibility. He simply gave it to me. Sure enough, after his death, I began to pick up the pieces of many lives in my family, including nieces and nephews, just as my father would have. So, who is wishing me a Happy Father’s Day? No one, actually, even though I have been surrogate dad for 11 years now.

As a student of Jung, I look at my dream as an archetype of my life. Each character in the dream represents a part of me. As symbolic of this dream-analyzing theory, I devised the epic dream in my mind to depict all different aspects of myself. (This is one way to look at the disturbing dream.) If this is the case, then not only do I feel judged for something I’m not responsible for, but I also feel as if I’m judging myself just as harshly as the world, perhaps, even harsher—as the picture of the hateful policeman.

One aspect of the dream I noticed was that I called for help and help didn’t arrive in time. Another aspect of this dream could be that I see the helper—God figure—as a mean and vengeful person who exacts revenge and also exonerates the accused. But, in my dream, no God arrived in time. I find this part of my dream to be the most interesting. I know that I have even shared with some friends lately that I feel Spirit God is purposely keeping me waiting for the sale of my house, because of some lesson that must learned before I leave for Florida. The dream certainly would parallel that truth in my own heart.

As for Daddy’s everywhere, I hope you are not the archetype of the judgmental men in my dream. I’m happy about this day that honors fathers. A father, in today’s harsh world, takes a valiant man, willing to watch a child fall down many times and learn hard lessons. Being a compassionate father, takes learning to let the world and spirit teach the hardest lessons to your child, and to keep your arms wide open for when your child realizes his/her mistakes. If this were the case in most families, we would have a lot less children hating parents and many more great Father Archetypes. Happy Father’s Day.

***

Check out my new book: (New Promo YouTube Video—important for all GLBT friends: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4yGU-MVCtQ ) Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior: http://www.amazon.com/Uncommon-Gay-Spiritual-Warrior-Authentic-ebook/dp/B00KPIVOIY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401708367&sr=8-1&keywords=uncommon+gay+spiritual+warrior .

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you


Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-445-8861 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

The Aftermath of Bullying #bullying #selfesteem #beinggayinastraightworld

The Aftermath of Bullying
#bullying #selfesteem #beinggayinastraightworld

On World News, yesterday, a man who obviously had issues with rage and bullying was ordered by a judge to sit by the side of the road with a sign that read: “I AM A BULLY.” His terrible act was maligning a family with 3 disabled children, repeatedly. I sat with a friend while watching the news. My friend’s opinion: The bully should be jailed and the key thrown away. My friend has a close relative who is disabled, and he is a gay man. So, you can imagine that being bullied was a part of anyone’s life who has grown up different.

Personally, I used to get taunted everyday in high school. Sometimes, someone I didn’t even know would just pass me and say, “Faggot!” A couple times I got punched in the stomach and just simply fell over, wiped myself off, and put on a happy face for my next class. Life, being different, can be a challenge for anyone, whether it be sexuality, some kind of physical deformity, or something such as a religious belief that would cause you to have to wear a special head cover. Anything that makes you stand out as a child or young adult, will be fodder for bullying, you can be assured.

I’m thrilled that that the world and legislature and schools are punishing bullying more severely. This sends the message that’s it’s simply “not cool” to be an ass. And also teaches those children who idolize bullies that being in the “in crowd” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Ultimately, facing who you are and loving yourself is a big chore in today’s world. If you can’t love yourself, I wouldn’t expect to find relationships that are worthwhile, either. All of your relationships—friendships and intimate—are an expression of your self-esteem. So, take a good hard look at yourself. Either change what you don’t like, or make amends in your own heart for how you have bullied yourself, by repeating old, self-deprecating behavior over and over, until you believe these untruths about yourself. Loving yourself is the key to recreating a past filled with bullying.

This kind of change is all part of Finding Authentic You. Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1493679309/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends. 

The Diagnosis of This World #judgment

The Diagnosis of This World

Everything around you judges. “That email you just wrote scored a perfect 10. Its content was right on target; its vocabulary was stellar, and most importantly, you sent it at the perfect time.” We tend to judge most things as well. “That cup of Starbucks hit the spot. On a scale of one to ten it was about an 8. It did taste as if it weren’t the freshest I’d tasted there, but nonetheless, it was worth the $4. I’m amped up, pumped up, and ready to start my day.”

But Jesus was very concerned about being conformed to the diagnosis of the world. He said, “Be ye not conformed to the judgment of the world.” What exactly did he mean? You know the judgments of the days of Jesus may have been strict, but they had so little to judge. It was either sin or death—sick and sent to the outskirts of the city. But today, we get judged for everything we do. We get up in the morning, we have to diagnose the conformity of a bowel movement to tell if we ate properly. We have to dress accordingly to the day we have. We have to be up and aware for meetings, present all of our ideas on point, and many times get judged harshly for not being prepared. How can we not conform?

That, my friends, is a very good question. I have spent my entire life trying to find a way not to conform to the world. It seems that the more I resist life’s conformity, the more I realize that I am freer than I have ever been. At present, I have completely dismantled my life. I have changed coarse midstream and have started three new careers in the midst of many other things I do. I have decided that if I don’t do what I’m here to do, then there simply is no reason to be here. So, I’m moving head first into areas I resisted for the very reason I write to you—because of judgment and conformity.

I resisted my calling for so long because I let the world and all of its judges tell me what I could and couldn’t do. I’m here to tell you today, if you are feeling the same way as I do, don’t wait another day to pursue your dreams. If you have to expertise to follow your dream and have the motivation, start today.

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On a separate note, I hope you get a chance to enjoy my new book, “Finding Authentic You.” There are 365 daily spirit-mind-body discoveries. You can now find it on Amazon and Amazon Kindle. Below are the links.  If you’re like to follow along with a group, there is also an online Year to Clear Challenge described below.

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Casual Sex and Self-Esteem

Casual Sex and Self-Esteem

 (This blog has some explicit thoughts and ideas. If you don’t want to go there with me today, just simply delete it or pass it by. But I felt like this needed to be addressed, especially when we think about the intricacy of the heart.)

Being gay tends to lead people to think that most of your life is about casual sex and impromptu sexual encounters. Though “tricks” happen with both heterosexual and gay people, random sexual encounters are more about the individual person than the proclivity toward any sexual persuasion.

I have known some gay man who go years without a sexual experience. I have known some who like an encounter weekly or even daily. I have known heterosexual men, both married and single, who walk into a room and look for the first woman who would most likely go home with him or, more likely, meet him in a janitor’s closet. Trust me, this is not about gay or straight.

However, I would say it is more a male issue than a female issue. Women tend to be less promiscuous on a whole, simply because they are the one in the more vulnerable place—they must be entered for intercourse to happen. Heterosexual men and Gay tops are more likely to be a little less caring about their vulnerable hearts and more caring about sowing their wild seeds. This makes sense when you look at who is in control.

This leads me to my tender point about spirituality and the translucent places of the heart that carry sexuality into a union, no matter if it’s just a one-night stand or a long-term relationship. Even the Christian (Mark 10:8) and Jewish (Genesis 2:24) bibles say that we become as “one flesh” when we unite sexually and intimately. If this is true, then our hearts merge as well. If our hearts merge, then a myriad of sexual encounters would cause our hearts to splinter. Psychological problems happen as a result.

People who have been sexually abused as children often try to squelch the feelings of abuse by repeating the abusive sexual behavior over and over, trying to make sense of it or exacting the behavior to get it right. But this never happens, unless they are in the arms of a securely attached individual who cares deeply. Unfortunately, the glue that would make an abused person whole often eludes them, because they look for their abusers in their mates.

I have worked with over a thousand sexually abused people in my twenty-five years of life coaching and hypnotherapy. They often come to me to quit smoking or for weight loss, because habits form when a person displaces self-esteem for sexual desire. They don’t love themselves enough to stop any kind of problematic habit leading to cancer, weight gain, or death. This kind of problem saddens me the most with clients. Leading someone to self-esteem and strength is not easy when every tape in their head is set for self-destruction.

If you let your self-esteem be a result of people finding you sexually attractive, there will always be a chance of that person going away or breaking up with you. So, if the attachment is about attraction and self-esteem, you will lose your power when that person inevitably goes away. That’s why the important steps to healthy relationship have nothing to do with sexuality. They have more to do with transparency and a deep commitment to protecting your very vulnerable heart. Lastly, we must find securely attached individuals to find safety for our hearts.

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Go to Week 2 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge”

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Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) in Early 2014. Thanks!