Connect to Your Innocence! #innerchild #findingstrength #recovery #IFS #Internalfamilysystems

A friend shared about following her heart. She said, “When you treat your heart as if it’s an innocent child—always needing your protection—you never move in the wrong direction!”

Our greatest bliss and deepest peace always comes from a secure place. To get to security we must honor the small child that exists in each of our souls. He plays with us, sometimes annoys us, and holds us accountable, but always leads us to our greatest sense of comfort. Why is this so?

There is a psychological technique called IFS (Internal Family Systems). From Wikipedia:

The Internal Family Systems Model (IFS) is an integrative approach to individual psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D. It combines systems thinking with the view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities, each with its own viewpoint and qualities. IFS uses family systems theory to understand how these collections of subpersonalities are organized…

Of course, one subpersonality everyone has is her inner child. For me, “Little Bobby” is my radar, my consciousness, and also my security guard. When I feel that aching, gnawing feeling in my belly that insists I shouldn’t or can’t do something, I know it’s Bobby beckoning me, “Listen closely, I have something important to tell you about your heart!” I’ve learned that adhering to him always makes for a more secure and peaceful life. Some people call it trusting your gut. For me, I realize that my gut has a name.

Today, get quiet and find that inner girl or boy whom you left behind on your quest for adulthood. Instead of thinking you are too tough, too busy, or too wise to listen, trust the innocence that exists inside of you for guidance and ultimately to lead you into the perfect path of life.

 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

“Girlfriend of Bill” #alanon #recovery #addiction

A friend of mine, Karen Nagy, wrote a very important book: Girlfriend of Bill: 12 Things You need to Know about Dating Someone in Recovery. I spent many days looking at the book, as it sat next to my bed in my cue. Even though I’m not a girl, I felt as though some instinct nudged me to read it. I actually didn’t even know that it dealt with a problem I just began to resolve in my mind. I recently released a budding relationship, because of a Meth addiction that I was unaware of. So, the content was important.

If you had never heard of the phrase “Friend of Bill,” alcoholics use it to keep anonymity at parties and social gatherings, while revealing their proclivity to addiction. As long as I have been dealing with addiction in my family and with clients, I had never heard someone speak this phrase, or it fell under the radar, where it belonged. In fact, I had to make a great distinction, of late, between helping addicts and befriending and dating them.

I had this amazing pal Kati (name changed to protect her) for ten years. We spoke every day, walked our dogs together, shared our problems, and knew everything about each other. But, what I didn’t know, was that, one day, she would simply disappear from my life without even a word. The reason she left, I heard years later, was because she began drinking again after 20 years sober.

The guy I mentioned at the top of this Discovery also disappeared for a week. In fact, disappearing and avoiding is something you can expect from an addict, usually in the early stages of getting sober. However, when an addict relapses, he or she must go back to Day One again, and again… and again! One of my dearest friends in the world is sober 18 years. I call him my brother. My family calls him a brother. My mother calls him a son. Yet, in the many years of our friendship, the one thing I’m absolutely sure of about addiction is: No matter how much a person tries to be sober with not drinking or using a drug, the psychology of an addict stays the same.

What Ms. Nagy does in this book is help you learn the language and mental temperament of an addictive person. Her technique is spot on, because she uses her own revelations, while dating an addict, to prove her point. I feel this book could be a great help to many people. You can count on one of twelve adults being an addict. When I use this term addict, it includes all people in 12 Steps, sober or in their addiction.

Friends of Bill are all around you, especially in certain social pockets. You are likely to have dated one, married one, or have a child or friend who is one. If you can get this book into the hands of someone who may be dealing with relating to someone as this, it would be a great gift.

 

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

#12-Steps to Sanity

We have all heard the serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” But how much do we really know about the 12-Step Programs that have literally helped millions, maybe billions, of people over the past 70 years?

Research about 12-Step programs is difficult to obtain because maintaining anonymity requires that researches stay a proper distance away. Yet, according to insiders in AA, 33 percent of the 8,000 North American members it surveyed had remained sober for over 10 years. Twelve percent were sober for 5 to 10 years; 24 percent were sober 1 to 5 years; and 31 percent were sober for less than a year.

The success, in my estimation, has much to do with accountability and the ability to be transparent to a group of understanding people whose compassion supersedes even therapists, family, and friends. A great deal of my own success with helping people through difficult times has come from my own shortcomings and difficulties in life. Nothing is more powerful in the healing process than community and compassion. We can all learn a great lesson from the program.

Though the Twelve Steps started for Alcoholism, it has reached its behavior modification program into thirty-six different branches:

• AA - Alcoholics Anonymous
• ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Al-Anon/Alateen, for friends and families of alcoholics
• CA - Cocaine Anonymous
• CLA - Clutterers Anonymous
• CMA - Crystal Meth Anonymous
• Co-Anon, for friends and family of addicts
• CoDA - Co-Dependents Anonymous, for people working to end patterns of dysfunctional relationships and develop functional and healthy relationships
• COSA - formerly Codependents of Sex Addicts
• COSLAA - CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• DA - Debtors Anonymous
• EA - Emotions Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• FA - Families Anonymous, for relatives and friends of addicts
• FA - Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
• FAA - Food Addicts Anonymous
• GA - Gamblers Anonymous
• Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen, for friends and family members ofproblem gamblers
• HA - Heroin Anonymous
• MA - Marijuana Anonymous
• NA - Narcotics Anonymous
• NAIL - Neurotics Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• Nar-Anon, for friends and family members of addicts
• NicA - Nicotine Anonymous
• OA - Overeaters Anonymous
• OLGA - Online Gamers Anonymous
• PA - Pills Anonymous, for recovery from prescription pill addiction.
• SA - Sexaholics Anonymous
• SA - Smokers Anonymous
• SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous
• SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
• SIA - Survivors of Incest Anonymous
• SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• UA - Underearners Anonymous
• WA - Workaholics Anonymous

In this time of giving and holidays, support people who are recovering from addictions in any way you can, especially with your compassion. I know in this week of thanks, I’m grateful for its cofounder, Bill Wilson, for writing the Big Book.

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

Unpacking Your Bags #recovery #olympics

UnPacking Your Bags #recovery #olympics

Life is full of large and small challenges. We don’t judge your life by what happened in the past. We are more inclined to judge our lives by how well he handled the problem. You will notice the montages about present Olympians. Each has the winner falling many times in the growth toward greatness. Failure is just part of the great process of success. A wise man once said to me, “Life is more about the path you walk on, than what’s at the end of the path!” I believe that with all my heart.

I found myself telling a client that she should consider what is happening right now in her life, instead of clouding her reality with her “to do” list. If she did that, she may find that she is sad, upset, or stuffing down emotions (which later translated to stuffing down food). The reality, though it may feel like failure, pain, or desperation is the only place to begin to make consistent and effective change. When you start from where you are, you can cry the entire day if you need to, but you’ll find that tears are like the blood that rushes to the surface of the skin when you cut yourself. The blood washes away impurities so that the wound will heal. So, also, are tears for the emotional body. Tears purge the body of unneeded angst and frustration and pain.

Once, I found myself riddled with discomfort. My stomach hurt so badly that I couldn’t eat the entire day. I knew that I had been reacting to a hurt in my life. I tried to face it by being by myself, but scads of muck simply kept prattling through my head like a looping bad movie. But that evening, something triggered a great cry. I wept so hard that my body felt as if it were regurgitating. In actuality, my body needed to release all that no longer served it. After a great cry, a hug from someone I love, I began the difficult time of healing.

Healing is much easier these days, knowing that God always has a gift at the end of that tunnel you find yourself crawling through to get to daylight again. Know that about difficult times. I can’t think of one tragic event in my life that didn’t end in a wonderful lesson, a consistent truth, a myriad of change, or a fresh, new beginning.

If you’re facing tragedy today or sadness, know this about life and about yourself. If you face your pain head on, you are more likely to heal faster. Your goal is to go through all the steps. Don’t avoid the hard ones to get to the anger. This doesn’t help the process or make you any more authentic. If you are sad, grieve. If you need to punch your pillow, do that. Take out your frustrations and pain in healthy ways. Eventually, you will get out of that tunnel and face the beautiful sunshine of a new day. I promise.

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On a separate note, I hope you get a chance to enjoy my new book, “Finding Authentic You.” There are 365 daily spirit-mind-body discoveries. You can now find it on Amazon and Amazon Kindle. Below are the links.  If you’re like to follow along with a group, there is also an online Year to Clear Challenge described below.

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!