When I was a teenager, I lived close to a housing project named Pleasantview. Kids played in the streets. Pregnant teens smoked on their front stoops with plastic flowers in old glass mayonnaise jars. Sounds of couples battling wafted through the air, as doors were left hanging from one hinge. The place was anything but pleasant, nor was its view.
My single mother rented a home near Pleasantview, as my sister and her two children, with welfare checks and food stamps moved into Pleasantview. I remember many days driving down the road toward my sister’s new digs, thinking, when did I become an impoverished child with a single mom, welfare sisters, and a brother who spent half of his teenage years and early twenties in jail? Life wasn’t supposed to look like this, and I knew it.
Even as a youth who lived through trauma, I knew something, somewhere had to be better than what I experienced in that moment. This one simple thought (somewhere has to be better than this)… this dream (something can release me from the chains of where I am)… lit the flame to keep me getting straights A’s, scholarship bound to college, and ignited a flame under my ass to live a life that had worth, damn it!
I dreamed last night that, as I walked my dog, he found something that disturbed him greatly hiding beneath a bush on the path. As I looked down, he had uncovered a dead dog. This version of Coco that was dead, was definitely the puppy I once knew as “my little boy.”
Coco fell off of the bed once. I think he was dreaming of something horrible at the same time, because he screamed. I had never heard a dog scream before. I was horrified. In my dream, Coco made that same screaming sound.
Dreams have an amazing way of bringing to light what you need to unravel in this moment. My dream brought up my childhood and my need to let it go completely and forgive whomever I need to forgive for putting me through that hell. I have a vice grip on my past, I know. I thought that I had let go and forgiven those who wronged me, but I guess there are more steps to healing now. So, I must, once again, venture into what Spirit reveals about letting go of the past, my youth, and those who were responsible for shaping it.
I do, however, notice that as I let go Pleasantview becomes a great deal nicer. I realize that as I looked back I had forgotten the faces of the beautiful, innocent children; the patient puppies and kitties sitting on the windowsills; and the strange paradox that we call Spirit working in and through all people everywhere for the good.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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