Nothing has been more prevalent in my mind in the past few weeks as I move away from the past twenty-five years of my life, than unloading my old BS with all of my memories attached to letters, cards, furniture, and paintings. I had not realized this, but every time I have gotten out of bed, my favorite nightstand—gloriously antiquated and teal—was refinished by an ex-partner of 12 years ago. I subconsciously think of him every time I look at this piece of furniture. My struggle is, now, how do I detach from the nightstand, so that I don’t carry my old BS (belief system) to Florida with me into my new life? Do I sell the nightstand? Or do I keep it?
A Course in Miracle is a textbook, a set of daily lessons, and a teacher’s manual transcribed by Helen Schucman, an agnostic Jew who did not believe in Jesus, but after writing the book, insisted that Jesus came to her and asked her to write the book, just as He spoke the words to her. So, most of the book is about misconceptions of Jesus’ words in the Christian bible and also focuses a great deal on what loving relationships should be. It’s a great read, if you’ve never read it.
My point here is that the first lesson in A Course in Miracles is to look at a chair as if you have never seen a chair before. Immediately, you begin to understand Schucman's or Jesus' lesson. We do not just see a chair. We see every chair that has ever entered our consciousness. Why? Because, we identify objects, items, people, and shape with our subconscious belief of what they should be, based on our experience with the past, and not so much as what they are in reality. That’s just how the human brain works. So, even though I have this nightstand that I love, my connection with it could mean that I am still attached to the love of my old partner.
I had a very interesting experience happen just just two days ago. I met with a dear friend whom I haven’t seen in a couple of years. I met my friend while in relationship with my exe. We got together last Friday and sat down at Starbucks. After tabling our conversation for only five minutes with a Venti tea and a gluten-free chocolate cookie, my dear friend whispers, “Is that Joey, sitting next to us?”
As I glance over my shoulder, I notice the partner of that same exe that refinished the nightstand, sitting beside us. Even though I live within five minutes of my exe and his partner, I have not run into either one of them, since the decision was made to radically stop our friendship, because it was causing problems in my exe's relationship.
This encounter was clearly spiritual synchronicity! The boyfriend was kind and hugged both of us. He even wished me well on my new endeavors and move. But, I thought, why would God place Joey right next to me, instead of my exe, who is the subject of my issue with the nightstand?
The answer is quite clear. My exe is not the issue. Joey is! In my heart, my belief system let me think that my exe hated me and never wanted to speak to me again. But, I sincerely believe, now, that this isn’t the case. I think Spirit was gently guiding me to the idea that my memory of my exe and our great eight years together had been eschewed by the person sitting to my left. So, my question to God and to my own subconscious is: Do I bring the nightstand to Florida, especially, after I have gotten rid of every other object in my house that reminded me of my exe? Or, do I leave it behind?
Even the Life Coach inside of me still does not know the answer. I guess this is a good time to write, no one has all the answers. Life is about being on the road to truth, not stopping somewhere proclaiming you know it all. If someone you know declares he or she knows all the truth, walk away—fast. Humanity is supposed to be a mystery; this is why our spirits have been so cleverly cloaked in a mammal's body that has absolutely no connection to spirituality. Our entire human life is spent trying to understand why our heavenly, God spirit is housed in a decaying body. Trust me, no clear answer exists. Except to say, perhaps, humanity is a lesson about balancing good and evil, as our bodies and human minds consistently lead us to carnality, and our spirits are founded upon morality. At least, this is the answer I have come to—nothing much more.
So, letting getting go of my old BS (belief system) really is more about living in the NOW, treasuring the old with the truth of the NOW, than it is cutting off all of the ties to the past. That nightstand can only “stand” for my exe, if I let it. Maybe, I’m supposed to bring it down to Florida to remind me to disconnect from my old BS, every time I look at it. I open the drawer daily, which is nearly impossible, by the way. It’s stuck, because what is inside my mind about my exe has been stuck for nearly ten years now. Maybe when I get down to Florida I’ll have the drawer fixed, so it easily slides open, combining my old BS with some new BS.
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This weekend is the book launch for my new cookbook: Gluten-Free, High Protein Cookbook and Recipes: Easy Meals in Less than 30 Minutes, which means the book will be FREE to my friends for exactly 5 days on Amazon and Amazon Kindle (ending Monday, August 11).
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[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]
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