What Is the Measure of Your Worth?

Yesterday I had a friend book a session as a client. I think it’s the greatest compliment when a friend trusts you with his/her personal issues enough to let you in his/her personal life to help. And what an honor it is to step up to that plate and be there for a dear one. This particular friend shared with me something that I don’t even know she intended to share. At the end of the session, I asked, “Did I say beforehand that I would give you a friend discount?”

            She responded with such dignity, “I’m going to pay you your normal fee—what you’re worth. That is what you have always taught me to do as a person, to trust my worth.”

            I thought, what a lovely way to compliment a person. Share some way they helped you grow as an individual. “Thank you, you know who.”

            So, let’s talk about your worth today. We’ll start with business.

            If you are in business for yourself, how do you decide what to charge? I once had a friend who was also a hypnotist. He was new to his practice and asked me to trade sessions with him. I agreed.

            He was very green, as I peeked in the middle of my session with him and saw he was reading the entire session from a book, which I kind of figured from the rustling of pages. After my session, I asked him what he charged. He responded, “495 dollars.”

            I tried not to look surprised. I thought, this dude has some balls. I checked with him throughout the months and year to find that, if he were lucky, he would have one client a month. After a year or so, he resigned his business. Was this a case of mistaken self worth, or a bad sense of what the market would actually allow? I think it was a lot of both, actually.

            When I first started out as a vocal coach and hypnotherapist, I started my rates lower than most practitioners, because I was a beginner. I needed to undercut others to get clients, and the people who were getting larger sums were people who had notoriety.  Almost every year, I would give myself a $5 raise, just like a regular job, if my business were growing. If it wasn’t growing and the market was slow, I wouldn’t give myself a raise. In the last 3 years, I have not given myself a raise at all, even though my business has doubled. I’ll get to why in a minute.

            I believe that you have to look at the market and see who is out there and what they are charging, before you decide what to charge. In NYC, I would be charging three times what I charge here, I’m sure. But in Nashville, hypnotists and vocal coaches don’t charge as much as NYC. Even 23 year ago for voice, the going rate in NYC was $100 for 30 minutes. For Hypnosis it was $250 a session.

            Also, I have been in the business for 23 years, so giving myself raises every year becomes a moot point, when I would be raising myself right out of the job market, which is why I haven’t given myself a raise in 3 years. I think I’m at a fair price for what I do now and for my level of expertise. It’s competitive with the novice, but also with the very trained individuals.

            But self worth sometimes comes down to what you really believe you are worth inside too. And let me tell you, if I had trusted my instincts many years ago, I would have been charging $5 a pop.  I always knew, though, that what I could do and how I functioned as a professional, wasn’t contingent upon how I felt about myself. That was a good thing, because it helped me survive as a professional. Many people don’t survive, because they can’t separate the two.

            If your dad told you, you would never amount to anything. And you believed him. You may always hear that voice when hard times come to meet you in business or when you fail at a sport. But what your inside voice doesn’t say to you is: “hard times come to greet everyone who starts a new business or in any business or project.” When you have had bad self-worth, you think that the world is turning on you personally, even when the economy is going dry for everyone. You respond to your situation in kind, by quitting and giving up. It rains and storms on everyone!

            I want you to know that who ever you are, you are made in the image of God—Great and Mighty and full of power to create! You truly can’t fail. You can try and not succeed, but that doesn’t mean that you are a failure. That simply means you are to move on to a different venture, perhaps.

            Your personal worth and self worth is not measured by how much money you make, who you are married to, what kind of car you drive or how pretty you are. You are innately, authentically made up of cells that are created in the image of God. Can you imagine what that is? That is grandiose!

            And when you meditate on that and see who you really are, you’ll understand what it is to be successful.