She Wrote “I Love You” in Lipstick on the Bathroom Mirror
Today I had
a client who has been struggling with weight issues. For five weeks he has been
coming to me riddled with stress from a job that was changing after 25 years of
being the same. But today he had an epiphany! He realized after he read some of
the material I had sent home with him (5 weeks ago...) that he had been eating
emotionally. When he would come home from work, he would feel exhausted, didn't
want to exercise, and ate to fill the emptiness he felt emotionally from a
detached relationship with his wife.
But
after our last sessions things began to change. He learned to be a
compassionate observer of his life. What does that mean?
We
can wake up in the morning and think we are completely our physical self with a
"to do" list a mile long, which sends us into our cognitive,
deductive mind. If we stay on this course throughout the day, we become robots
and train our minds to listen to the habits of our body and our old thinking.
Becoming
a compassionate observer of our lives takes detaching from your old behavior
(compulsive, fearful, anxious) and begin to look at it as if you are
objectively watching someone you can help... YOU!
The
truth is we have many old neuro pathways coming from the back of our brain
trying to convince us we areour past. Only by becoming a conscious
observer can we make change to those behaviors.
My
client began to witness his shortcomings and decided he wanted to make a change.
As he committed to change emotionally, his wife saw the light as well.
She had been encouraging him to get healthier, but he didn't do much about
making a plan for change. She could see that and got disinterested in his lax
ways about his life, including their sex life.
So,
this morning she wrote on the bathroom mirror in lipstick: I LOVE YOU!
That's
all it took for him to see that his change in awareness and behavior was making
a difference, not just for him, but everyone he faced daily. I suggested
that is was incredibly courageous and compassionate for his wife to take that
honest, loving step back toward their relationship. He needed to bring home
some beautiful flowers and tell her he loved her too.
I
have a feeling someone is going to rolling around in the bed together and
enjoying the good that becoming aware brings to your lives.
That
makes me a happy Life Coach. Amen.
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