A Dance with My Shadow Self

            A beautiful client who has grown by leaps and bounds suggested I write about this subject. So, I dedicate this poetry to her:

            Today is light-filled and wonderful.

            I walk strong and proud.

            Faithful to myself I stay.

            Howling wolves from the past echo in the wind.

            Until now silent, but suddenly vicious green eyes stare me down

            Stop me in my tracks.

            The temptation to heed the call of the wind is

            visceral,

              nagging,

                 breath-taking.

            I turn from the moment and walk toward a lonely beacon.

            The best of me is a vestige of newness

                     still awkward.

            I trip on my own grace most days.

            When I look in the mirror,

                     I still see her—small and frightened,

                              Sick and lonely

                                       Dark and playing with the moon.

            Again, I remember the howling

                      I’m scared.

            This new spiritual creation is a veneer or is it I real?

            The moon casts a shadow on my body,

                     long and dark,

                              leading back to memories I hoped would no longer plague me.

            In this tender moment of authentic honesty, I don’t trust the now.

                     I see the past

                              It feels too familiar

            I grasped it with my entire heart.

            Now the path I choose is faith—ephemeral.

                     No touch

                              Not so famliar.

            Music starts

                      A Tango plays in the moonlight.

            Before I know it

                     I danced with my shadow.

            Hauntingly black,

                     warmly familiar,

                              prickly and passion-filled

                                       Yet completely empty.

            I remember today and the light.

            I remember today and the light.

            I am empowered by my new Self,

                     walking toward peace and away from emptiness.

            The dance of the tango becomes furiously strong.

                     I stomp on my own shadowy past.

            Though it has no feeling, it gives me power to overcome

            I push the past away like the scorned lover in the dance

            I hold my hands over my head and clap twice

                     For me

                              For my future

                                       For the beacon ahead.

            Though I may dance with the shadow,

                     I am no longer in relationship with the shadow.

            Though I may hear the howls of the wind,

                     I have no reason to answer its calls.

            Though I may be confronted by the venomous eye of a shadowy past,

                     I can find compassion to understand the cause of my darkness.

            I am stronger now from looking back.

                     I dance my dance with the spirit of love

            Never rejecting my joy and always calling me to my deepest sense of peace,

                     Now, Love dances on with my shadow.