Stretching to the Edge of Your Personal Growth #change #effectivechange

Stretching to the Edge of Your Personal Growth #change #effectivechange

At 87, Michelangelo was asked if he had any more personal goals or desires. He answered in Latin: “I am still learning.” Michelangelo was someone who desired to live the next moment, the next day, the next year. When any of us stop learning, we spiritually, emotionally, and then physically die. When a plant stops growing for some reason in nature, if not for just a season to rest, then the plant or tree is usually about to die. This metaphor hold true for our human existence.

Change looks like a good yoga workout. When you begin, you center with breathing exercises, and find a connection from your mind to your body. In other words, you become the observer and parent of the body, so that you don’t make actions that will hurt your fragile physical self.

Then we begin to make relaxing movement. This action is slow and meticulous. We begin with the spine, which connects the entire body. We end by rolling the head, which uses the neck and has hundreds of muscle attachments on each side of the occipital bones behind the head and at the top of the neck. This head movement is one of the best indicators of how stressed and tight the body has become. Often, I’ll get to a part of the movement that feels stuck or hurt. I stop at the point, breathe into the pain, and let oxygen flow to the muscles, before I begin to move into the pain.

From there, we move into the Asana, which is connecting or holding positions to strengthen and feel the entire body. The Asana or movement portion of the practice is not the most important part of yoga, the meditation is. The Asana is, by nature, the part of the practice where we identify our God Body, which is the conduit or the house for our spirit. As we have entered into a place of divine connection from mind to body, we learn to use our minds to control the fragile and ephemeral body. If we are aware and awake, we learn the most tenuous part of the practice, which is coming to the edge of pain, and waiting for the body to relax into a pose, to move deeper and more intricately into the ephemeral body.

All of this is a divine metaphor for change. In life, we always stand at the precipice of pain, trying to decide whether or not we want to face it—head on, dive in, or our best choice, to wait for spirit and your highest self to accept the problem, then gentle begin to make change. If we don’t face the issue and back away, then we never have the opportunity to learn our divine lessons. If we dive into the pain, our existence gets hurt and submerges into the deep, almost drowning from too much mental and physical stress. But, if we stand at the precipice of pain, waiting, we move slowly into the pain to get past it.

We are on the earth to create beauty. This is impossible if your mind is stuck in the past or feeling pain. Face it first. Stand at the edge of it and wait for God and your highest self to make a plan. Grieve if you must! But gently wade into the waters of change and begin to slowly move through it until you liberate yourself and your world from the obstacles that hold you from your divine destiny.

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends. 

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to purchase any of the following: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

Connecting with Spirit #religion #spirituality #meditation

Connecting with Spirit

 #religion #spirituality #meditation

When I ask a client if they have a spiritual belief, almost everyone answers with the name of a religion. “I’m Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist.” Few, not many, say that they are in the process of searching. When someone comes in with an open heart and mind, instead of a rulebook of answers about his/her perception of God, I breathe a sigh of relief. Interestingly though, those same people excuse themselves for not going to church or not having definition in a somewhat indefinable space.

No one can see through your eyes. Absolutely no one in your world sees what you do, from the perspective you do. Therefore, to believe exactly as someone else is an impossibility. Yet, most of us—even Agnostics and Atheists—try to fit into a sect or religion. The Dalai Lama once said in an interview, when he was asked the question: “If there were anything in the world you could take away, what would that be?” His answer was RELIGION!

Why would he answer religion when he is a very religious person, you might ask? Because, religion isn’t spirituality. Religion has been more of a divisive place for most people, rather than a way of unity and compassion. The Dalai Lama knew that, especially since he was torn from his homeland because of his beliefs.

When a person asks for help with spirituality, my first inclination is to lead him/her to a place of self-exploration and communication with a higher self. I teach meditation, which is a form of hypnosis derived from the Ayurvedic tradition, those who brought about yoga and most naturopathic medicine. This teaches an individual to become the objective, compassionate observer of his or her life.

In the final days on earth, Jesus prophesied that “the lessons of God would be written on our hearts” not in books. So, if you want to understand God, you have to start from inside. In fact, getting indoctrinated in a religion could completely stymie your way toward the light, especially if your heart tells you otherwise.

I wouldn’t become a vegan, first, and then learn how to cook vegan food. I would research what being a vegan does for my life, understand the ways of a vegan, and decide if this is what my body needed, way before becoming one. If I wanted to decide on a political party, I wouldn’t simply do what my family did. I would read about it. Check inside my heart for what resonates. Then, make a choice.

We do religion and spirituality backward in this world. We follow the footsteps of others instead of walking on a pathway from our own hearts to truth. Many people may read this and say, well, you can be led off course by many demons or untruths in the world. Yes, that is true. But what person doesn’t learn from his/her mistakes? An adult learns to choose wisely from having endured hard times. A person seeking spiritual truth, especially an adult, needs to discover a way that suits his or her lifestyle and demeanor. Some may take a nature walk. Others may meditate on a spiritual reading. Others may need a church. But you have to define that for yourself. No one can do this for you.

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php  Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to purchase any of the following: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

A Huge Party at the Betty Ford Center #addiction #weightloss #AA

A Huge Party at the Betty Ford Center #addiction #weightloss #AA

No one—trust me no one—would know that I have an addiction to food. I’m thinner than most, I work out constantly, and hide my addiction when no one’s looking. If you can think of a habit or a place you go in your mind when no one is looking, do it in excess, and don’t want to admit you have a problem, you probably are in a an addictive situation—substance or mental.

I work with people all day who have some sort of habit they want to be rid of. The habit could be fear or anxiety. A habitual thought or fear is just as much a demon as alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs sometimes. I know, you may say that one has the power to kill you with chemicals and the other doesn’t. But, you forget about suicide and the ability to keep ourselves in harmful and stressful relationships and work situations, because of lack of self-esteem.

So, addiction comes down to one thing:

The belief that you must have or must do something

that becomes unhealthy for you!

Notice, I didn’t say the substance itself is the problem. The issue starts in your mind. Some of us have habits that are connected to physical addictions, such as nicotine or a specific drug. But, still, in almost every case, the abuse begins in the brain. If it didn’t, there would be no reason for AA, NA, OA, or counseling. We would simply give up and die. But organizations such as AA and counseling helps make behavior changes, which begin in the mind: 1) Admitting to yourselves and others that you have a problem; 2) talking about problem with people who care. Treatment can’t begin unless you come to Step #1 first. The first words that come out of person’s mouth after their name in a 12-step program is admitting that he or she is an addict.

The 12 steps inherently begin with the acknowledgement that you have no power over your addiction and that you offer this problem up to a Higher Power. This Higher Power is purposely undefined in 12-step programs to invite different kinds of belief systems into the process. The Big Book, the manual for 12 steps was written by Bill W. His full last name has never even been printed. That’s how anonymous this club is. Over 30 million books have been distributed or sold. This is how many people who have admitted they have a problem. We know, however, many more addicts exist who never will discover their own problem.

I mention all this because I had a long-time Alcoholic friend and therapist tell me that he recently read a study about addiction and spirituality. In the study, scientists studied the efficacy of addicts getting off of substance by different modalities. The most effective method was having a spiritual belief. I’m not surprised to hear that. Understanding that you are not alone in the universe and that there is a purpose for your life is one of the next steps to stepping forward from an addiction.

How did I discover my own addiction to food? I tried to lose weight for 2 years unsuccessfully. Every time I would lose a few pounds, I’d put them right back on because of binging and an addiction to carbs or sweets.

Honestly, what really brought me back to reality was getting on a gluten-free diet. When I decided to quit gluten, my choice had nothing to do with addiction. I realized quickly, however, that gluten was most of the problem. It is said by scientist lately that Genetically Modified Wheat now has the power of an opiate in the brain. So, when I got off of the opiate causing the cravings, I was able to see clearly my addiction. I realized my desire to eat sugar was wrapped in the obscure package of bread and cookies. When I replaced the bread and cookies with gluten-free bread and cookies, I immediately ate less of them. After about a month, I didn’t even desire to eat bread or cookies. My hunger started to manifest around fresh vegetables and healthy protein.

I have helped a few people get off of gluten. Each of us had the same reaction. The weight came off without even trying. I lost 16 pounds in one month. 14 pounds came off in the first 2 weeks. You see, heavy food with gluten makes your body feel heavy and, often, you don’t exercise because of feeling of being too full. I don’t get that bloated feeling much any more.

So, two things needed to happen for me. I had to come to a self-realization of the problem. Then, I had to understand a good way to release the problem. For me, I didn’t need to go to meetings. For some people, meetings or life coaching are a necessity. You must do what your mind and spirit are telling you to do, to take the first step forward out of this problem!

Mostly, and I can’t stress this enough, the first step is admitting you have a problem!

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php  Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to purchase any of the following: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

Pushing through the Hard Stuff to get to the Prize #goalsetting #relationship #prosperity

Pushing through the Hard Stuff to get to the Prize #goalsetting #relationship #prosperity

When I teach a yoga class, I never use the word push or pull. Those words tend to make people stretch into their muscles too much harshly and without introspect, and causes injuries. But, in life, with business, in finance, and with relationships, each takes a special version of pressing forward—some take more caution than others.

For the Body:

Sometimes we have to crank the engine to get our butts off of the couch and to the gym. Other times, we have to sit quietly and wait until an injury subsides before we use a muscle. Sometimes, we have to force ourselves to drink puréed kale. Other times, our bodies crave what it needs. But learning to listen to your body is essential, when it comes to the care of your human frame. Without sounding like I want you to be mentally ill, we have different voices in our brain. Our bodies actually have a voice. If you’ve ever been hungry or thirsty or in pain, you’ve heard the cantankerous sound of that voice. But, sometimes, with stretching and with exercise, even though the voice is loud, we hear an ever louder voice saying, “You have to get to this goal.” Or “your pose has to look like the person sitting in the front row with her tights clinging ever so closely to her slim body.” Nothing could be worse than ignoring your pain to mimic someone else’s actions. Learn to listen to your body and take heed!

In Life:

For most of life, the best we can do is be prepared. As an singing artist, you can have the perfect voice, the best looks, and an album that should sale to everyone who wants to listen. But, if the timing isn’t right, you won’t get off the cutting room floor. Who we are has little to do with our success. Our preparation in life, however, has EVERYTHING to do with our success. If you can learn to balance your skill with patience, you will live life with poise and peace. You will weather the hard times, continue with your skill, and take pleasure in the small steps forward.

In Relationship:

Nowhere in life is patience more important than with relationship. You can’t push it. You can’t prod it. You can’t even nudge it, sometimes. Relationship is like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Gestation has an appropriate time, then the butterfly eats through the hard shell to learn to fly. You will fall many times before you learn this lesson, but learn it, you will. Jesse met Jana at a time when both thought God brought them together. She wanted a baby before she was out of her twenties, he wanted sex and was a devout enough Christian to wait for marriage to lose his virginity. Both rushed into relationship for two different reasons. They didn’t take time to get to know each other, or themselves, for that matter. When their first child was two, they entered counseling. When he was five, they divorced. After Jesse finally had sex with his wife, he realized that Christianity wasn’t the reason he waited for sex, homosexuality was. No counseling can resolve that problem. After five long years of trying to have sex, when there was no desire, he finally came clean with his wife and counselor and divorced. He loved her, but it was the wrong kind of love for sustenance.

In Finance and Business:

If any part of life requires a passionate surge forward, finance and business tops the list. Again, you must be prepared with education and a brand or product. However, most people I know who are successful have more drive than they have education. I know some people who haven’t even graduated high school but have such a great work ethic. Their business acumen is natural and stellar, so their businesses thrive.

I, also, believe that finding peace in your finance has much to do with your ability to curb your spending until you have established a firm foundation for your finances. Many people over spend in the first two years of their success. They buy large homes and fancy cars, when they have a windfall of finance, only to find that the next year they have overspent and can’t afford the rich lifestyle. Be smart about your business and save for the seasons when your business may slack off a bit. Balance waiting for opportunity with diligence in your seeking. Then make a consistent move forward with education and even volunteering, if need be, to show God and the universe you are serious about your desires!

So, you see that each portion of your life takes a different kind of surge forward. Decipher the voices in your mind. Listen to reason! And balance education with patience.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

The God Claue—Spirit Led Me! #blaminggod

The God Clause—Spirit Led Me #blaminggod

I have often used the words: “I really felt led by God or spirit” to move forward in life. When I say this, I somehow think a mandate happens, as a result. Because God led me to it, perhaps a relationship or a job, then this statement should have a period after it. In truth, just because we are led to anything in life, this doesn’t make it have the ingredients of glue. We should, in truth, put a question mark after statements like these to ensure we don’t Blame God for something the universe intended completely.

For instance, you and your partner feel that God brought you together. You had about six synchronistic events that made each of you feel your relationship was destiny. Does this make the longevity and inevitability of your relationship solid?

One would think that God’s purpose would be the penultimate say-so. However, God could have brought a wonderful child into your life. At sixteen, the same child is killed in an auto accident. Is this still God’s will for you and for the child? In other words, do we attribute blame to God because we don’t understand the nature of “being led by spirit”?

I think we do. I have been one of the most irresponsible people using “God’s will” as an excuse to blame myself and others for mishaps in my life. The will of God in any relationship could, and mostly like is, for you to learn a huge lesson. After all, isn’t earth the place we learn all of these hard lessons? How else will we learn them if not by using the people who are the dearest to us to show us the way?

In my mind, we have all made spiritual pacts with each other before we ever come to the earth in body. As a spirit, we were creating scenarios, perfect situations for each of our characters to learn the hard lessons of truth. Why else would life be so ephemeral? In the Buddhist tradition, this moving through lifetimes learning lessons is one of the greatest gifts we could have before entering the perfect state, Nirvana—in Christianity and Judaism, heaven.

So, stop blaming God or “God’s will” for your life. Put a Question mark after “God led me to this” and move on! Know that spirit has many intentions for each of our relationships, including family, intimate love, and friends. The secret to happiness is walking through these spiritual plans with Poise and Grace!

(A special thanks to Keith for giving me some sound advice about the above.)

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

When Once Wasn't Enough! #repeatingmistakes

When Once Wasn’t Enough! #repeatingmistakes

Who said that “when you make a mistake it’s okay? But when you keep making the same mistake over and over and expect different results, then you have a mental disorder?” How many times have you dipped into the same drama, addiction, or relationship, hoping that Bewitched would wiggle her nose and everything would turn out differently? I know, I have double-dipped several times in my life, every time to find out that the results were somewhat worse, not better.

Repeating mistakes is about the soul not healing completely the first time. Or, repeating mistakes is about attachment disorders that go so deeply that you believe the new situation is actually different than the first mistake. Or, repeating mistakes is about not wanting to see reality. And lastly, repeating mistakes is about making every one else look wrong, so that you can feel some sense of self-esteem and feel as if you are the right one.

Drama is drama! If you find yourself in a lapload of problems, you probably feel comfortable with anxiety. You thrive on the way it makes you feel alive. If that is the case, then, yes, you have a mental disorder: ignorance! Come on, people! Let’s work together to make better lives for ourselves, not worse. If you want a better life, then make effective change.

If you want more money, you have to invest in yourself: a new career, your education, and most importantly, stop spending money on things like cigarettes, diet cokes, and Starbucks, everyday. Some clients come into my office hoping for change. When I ask them how much they spend on the above mentioned items, sometimes the amount is in the 300-400 dollar range a month. That is a car payment, my friends. And these same people who can’t do without their Starbucks, also have trouble paying their electric bills. Most of these same people won’t cook a meal for themselves, either. They go out for every meal. Do you know how much money that adds up to? If you only ate two meals out every day, even at McDonalds, you are looking at $400 dollars a month. If you ate at a nice restaurant for each meal, you are spending in the 1000-dollar range. Do you have that kind of money to spend or to waste? If so, why are you not taking care of your basic needs?

I may not be preaching to the choir when I talk about money. But, I know for certain, most of you single people have dated the same person, with a different face, over and over again, only to find that you’re sinking in quicksand. Or, if you’re married, you fight over the same issue over and over again. Same issue, different data or situation. I’m certain of this, as certain as I am that my real name is Robert Alan Sebastian. Unless you look at your past, uncover your attachment style, you will never be able to discern what kind of person to date or how to make effective change in your lives.

If you find yourself, saying, yes to all of this. You need to give me a call and let me help you. Invest some of that Starbucks’ money in your mental and physical health. If you don’t live in Nashville, you can do a Skype session with me. I’m available to help you get out of your quagmire. Make an appointment to help yourself today!

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Play It Again, Samantha! #Revenge #thedo-over

Many times after a break-up or a divorce, people want to lash out at the person who presumably stabbed him/her in the back. But, every time we unleash our anger at someone, we hurt ourselves and simply propagate more anger into the universe. If you have ever exacted revenge, you notice that the satisfaction of hate lasts about as long as it took to press RETURN on your computer. Then, your email is lost in cyber space, and you wait for the repercussions of your hate with a sour feeling in your stomach and anxiety in your heart. I have done this before after a friend literally stole my business, only to find myself on the opposite side of a table with a best friend’s lawyer facing me. Anger isn’t pretty. But there must be a way to assuage the anger before it hurts others.

We all have reasons to be angry. I get that. If you watch the television show, “Revenge,” then you will know that the reason we couldn’t get enough of this show the first year it aired was because everyone the protagonist exacted revenge from deserved it. We all wanted her just do for her, because getting your just do doesn’t often happen in life. But, this year on the television show, we are more than tired of Emily getting revenge, only to see her hurting herself and all the people she has loved. I doubt this show will continue after too much longer. How much revenge can someone take, before she hurts herself? This was true in the finale last year when her fiancé actually shot her on their wedding day, then she fell off of a boat into the ocean, only to be swept away into the night.

Alas, Emily was found on the shore and was revived the next year. Really? Do we often get second chances when it comes to vengeful deeds and thoughts? Not usually. I have one ex-partner who has completely barred me from his life after I told him exactly how I felt about him and his affair with my ex before him. It took me six years to say it. I sincerely thought I had my anger under control, until, one day he pressed one of my PTSD buttons. Then, I tore into him like a ravenous lion killing a lamb. He never knew what hit him. I don’t blame him for his attitude now. I don’t even trust my own threshold of anger. That’s probably why I took the RETURN KEY TO SEND button off of my computer and phone.

Everyone thinks that I’m always at peace, because I practice yoga and meditation. Trust me, if I didn’t practice spirituality, I’d be an angry mess. Sometimes, life catches every human off-guard, and you simply do what comes naturally, act like a human. It’s our God-self that keeps the demons in our minds at bay. It’s our spirit that reminds us we don’t have to give out hate to get peace.

If you are in a place of anger, try to get some help. Talk it out with a counselor or a life coach. We can help you put your anger to good use. We can help you feel it without hurting anyone else your life. Anger is the worst poison, because it kills you, not the one who hurt you.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

The Sex Sleuth Part II #cheaters ‪#‎thedownlow‬ ‪#‎marriedmen‬ ‪#‎sexualpredator‬

The Sex Sleuth Part II ‪#‎thedownlow‬ ‪#‎marriedmen‬ ‪#‎sexualpredator‬

This Sleuth was a bad boy and has gained some INTEL from going undercover on a popular website for sexual predators, Craigslist.org. I’m not saying all people go to this site for sex. Many go to sell and advertise. But a part of this free site allows anyone to sign on, add a picture, and advertise almost any kind of sexual behavior in the Personals Section. No judgment here. I just want to understand a few things about married or committed men and their “down low” behavior, so that I don’t get stuck in this pattern again.

I made two posts to the Dating and Relationships section of the personals—Man seeks Man. First Post:

I sent one of the nicest pictures I have of myself. I said I was forthright, honest, and that I was looking to date or for relationship. Not one single person answered the ad.

Second Post:

I took a picture of my shirtless torso, cropped off my head, posted it under the casual encounters with this heading: Married Dude Looking.

I wrote in my profile: “Married dude only looking for other married dude, nsa (that means “no strings attached in the Internet dating world). Really don't like doing this, but I'm really h##ny and I haven't had sex with my wife in 5 years. Staying together cause of the kids. Here's a pic of my body. Jock and fit and good looking. You be too. No smokers.”

I can’t even count how many men replied within minutes, saying, “I’m in the same boat. Let’s trade pictures and get together. Most were willing to send face pictures. Two of them went as far as setting up a time to meet and renting a hotel room. Each said he would pay for the room with cash, because I told each that my wife would know if I spent the money. We were on a budget.”

The guys who answered were normal, good-looking, businessmen, who were gay, but pretending that they were straight for the purpose of keeping up appearances. In my book about Authenticity, you can’t say you’re one thing and be another without someday getting caught, major anxiety, or having some kind of addiction to cover your stress of living two lives.

Married men on the down low is now happening in epidemic proportions. If you are married and your husband or partner or wife is acting in a guarded way, creating space in his/her life with long pauses, you may want to become suspicious. You should ask probing questions, such as, “Who was at the gym? What did you do for three hours? Do you ever hang out in the wet area? What kind of people frequent that area?”

If a man is taking extended absence from home time, he is probably using something like the gym as a sexual outlet. Gyms are breeding grounds for sexual misconduct. The YMCA, a family gym, has had to oust countless members over the years for unbecoming sexual behavior in the Jacuzzi, steam room, and sauna. You would never know these men were gay or bi-sexual in their normal lives, unless you were a sleuth. I have had a few partners have affairs, and I caught them each time. When I became suspicious, I checked emails, cell phones, and computers, and asked friends to check up on them. I believe that in a trusting, monogamous relationship, you should be completely transparent. When your partner starts getting texts and emails and phone calls that require an exit from the room, you better believe something suspicious is going on.

You know the first thing that happens when you go to therapy and one person in the monogamous couple cheats? If the cheater wants to stay in the relationship, he or she has to be open to complete transparency on the phone, computer, and with any questions about absence in time. However, I know someone who is a sex addict and uses his work computer to do his dirty work. Then, uses that excuse that he was at work, when he hooks-up. He could get fired at any moment if he got caught. Anyone could get fired who uses a work computer for sex, unless you own the business.

Most of these guys are executives and have the wherewithal to take off from work whenever they want. However, most of the dirty work happens on business trips. Almost everyone I know who has had an affair has done so while away from home in hotels and on the Internet. I even know of a married, very committed minister go away almost weekly for a job. One day he came back HIV positive and had to “out” himself to his wife and children to protect their health. He went as far as trying to go to sexual reorientation therapy to stay in his marriage. The entire time, though, he was having sex with men while away from home. He ended up divorced. Rarely, do those therapies work. Also, they are really against any Psychological Protocol. Gay is not a mental disease! You can’t find the behavior in any textbook as being a sickness. Also, straight people do the same things to their partners. But, that’s not my focus, right now.

So, if you are a wife busy with the kids and creating a healthy life for yourself, you would often never notice, especially, if your sexual life with your partner has become stale. Listen, I tell you this, because you are at risk when you have sex with a partner who is probably having unprotected sex. Married men are the stupidest when it comes to protecting themselves from disease. Most cheaters get caught because they bring home an STD.

I have known people who have had secret relationships for years without the other partner knowing, mostly because the cheater would make an appointment each week to have sex at home. I remember when I caught the cheaters in my life, those were the times I was being treated with the most respect and getting flowers and candy. Cheaters vet their prey and become involved with partners who have anxious attachment disorder, so that as they become avoidant, the person with whom they have the affair, becomes completely attached and wants to protect the one he or she loves from getting caught. Why? Because getting caught would mean that the relationship would end. An anxious attachment style does not want that to happen.

Be cautious and aware. That’s the advice of this Sex sleuth today!

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Lost in the Ocean #malaysian flight

Lost in the Ocean #Malaysian Flight

Watching the news has been mostly about the tragic, missing Malaysian flight and, of course, the dead passengers. This story reminds me of the old tales, I would hear as a child, about the Bermuda Triangle. I actually had a high school acquaintance who had started out on a simple boat trip to Bermuda and went missing, never to return. It’s as if the vast blue, beautiful ocean swallows up people and vessels as large as planes and as small as a raft. Having just come off of a Caribbean Cruise, I would go twelve hours at a time without seeing any other vessel, even planes. Our ship moved at 35-45 miles per hour. Can you imagine what it would be like to be as small as a person, floating on a raft, within the scope of that same vast ocean? I can’t conceive of the fear I would feel.

This thought always leads me back to the idea of a Creator looking down on this myriad of tiny ants crawling around under a rock. Finding that Malaysian jetliner would be like identifying one ant that became separated in a large garden adjacent to the family of ants under the rock. I have lost a set of keys in my yard, which is ½ an acre, as the key ring fell out of my pocket while I used my riding lawnmower to cut the grass. I looked for two days, trying to find 3 shiny keys in the sunlight, in the dark with a flashlight, having no use of electrical devices. I thought of buying a metal detector by the second day. Eventually, I gave up looking, as, I suppose, will happen after millions of dollars are spent searching for the lost passengers on the Malaysian Flight. You can’t watch the news footage and see much hope.

I’ve read in the New Testament in Luke that God has every bird counted and every hair on our heads accounted for: (from biblehub.com) 6"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. 7"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

This verse makes me wonder about the magnificence of omniscience. Is this same God able to know and see every hair on every planet in all the universes, or are the separate Gods for each universe or planet? No one who contemplates this with a human brain could even conceive of the kind of brain or energy that would allow such a tremendous amount of observing power. Thus, we are asked to believe, nonetheless. Without anthropomorphizing God, I can’t imagine. As a human being, we can only see in front of us, perceive what is around us, so even to imagine seeing all around us is a far stretch for our egos.

Because we can’t conceive the power of God, we invent machines that observe from space and operate like no human brain can. We build a machine that can think a million times faster, see a million times better, and sense to a nanosecond movement in ambient space? We are all trying to understand what is like to be God and to be omniscient.

Unfortunately, all we have is our humanness, right now, with some spiritual help, should we choose to believe. But, as you can see from the different family members of those killed in the Malaysian flight, the ones with outrage are furious and lashing out. Yet, the ones who try desperately to make sense of the senseless with faith and spiritual truth, such as lighting candles and seeking the help of friends and ministers, are mourning, as they should be.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

Guide to Meditation mp3

Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!