Defying Age? #aging #growingold
Painful signs happen as our pretty coifs slowly turn gray
or white. Flags fly high on our skin as it sags or creases deep into the recesses
of our eyes and laugh lines. Our memories fail like overused hard drives. And our
surge to live diminishes like batteries losing their charge.
One of the hardest aspects of life is either growing older
or watching someone we love grow older. I remember viewing a picture of myself laugh.
Around my eyes were 10 creases in my skin. I immediately went to an
aesthetician and began getting facials and skin peels, until I couldn’t see the
wrinkles. I didn’t want to age. Worse yet, I didn’t want anyone else to see me
age. Then, one awful day recently, I became allergic around my eyes to every
skin product I tried. Alas, I will have puffy eyes for the rest of my life!
God, I was mortified.
I’ve had friends tell me that they have earned every gray
hair and wrinkle. Well, I’ll take the credit for having weathered the storm,
but I don’t want to APPEAR WEATHERED! We can leave that for those sun
worshippers on South Beach who are too burnt and too old to be tanning or
wearing G-strings. Time and place, people!
Today, I brought my 81-year old mother home from the
hospital after having her left carotid artery cleared of plaque build-up. Three
years ago she had a triple bypass. Five years ago, almost to the day, she had a
colon resection. Each time, I see her lay in that hospital bed, wan, helpless,
cut from head to toe, and unable to do for herself, I see my own ephemeral life
passing by. Aging is hard to face, but change and getting older happens every
moment of every day. I can’t avoid the inevitable anymore.
So, today, I won’t color my hair or get another skin
treatment, as I know my lesson is to be auspiciously aware of the demise of my
mind and body. The sages of old had a meditation exercise in which you imagine
yourself getting older, dying, and then merging back with the earth. I believe,
the exercise is to help us recognize the reality of the human existence. Eckhart
Tolle calls this existence the Pain Body,
as this is where our Egos experience discomfort, aging, and the resistance to
peace and spiritual awareness. I don’t believe this means to abuse your body
with bad food and no exercise. I simply feel that no matter how much you do to
preserve the body, you can’t avoid age.
Today, I’m thankful for my 53 years and quite comfortable
in my skin. I bought a fancy new hat last week. I look like a picture of my dad
in it, especially when I’m on the arm of a 33 year old. I envy many things in
life, but youth is not one of them. I don’t want to go through the hard times
again to the get to this place of contentment and peace. I guess, watching youth
pass us by is part of releasing from the resistance to homeostasis. We can get
facelifts, chest lifts, tummy tucks, and derma-whatevers, but everyone knows how old you are. You are not fooling
anyone, especially yourself. With age comes wisdom and peace. Enjoy it while
you can, as, soon, it will be over. Next month, you may be saying what my
father said on his deathbed, “If I would have only known…”
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