Plenty of Fish #dating #findinglove
#relationshipadvice
I have been living on the misguided premise that one
day I’ll stumble upon the perfect person. Although that may happen, I wouldn’t
notice unless my nose was out of the past and living in the NOW. I had often
said of the last person I dated and lived with that I wouldn’t even have given
him a second chance had I not just read the book Attached. by Amir Levine.
Why? Because, he was the normal kind of guy that flies under the radar, and I
had always been attracted to bold, strong men that stick out and make a statement.
My now ex-partner had moved on as of Valentine’s day
because he just wasn’t ready for a committed relationship. I’m sure what that
means. He was living and thriving in one for a year with no complaints or
arguments. But, I have to make myself understand, that not everyone is for the
long-term, and not everyone I meet, even if I’m attracted, is meant for
relationship, especially the long term. Sometimes I’m just a pawn in life’s
wonderful game of chess. Yesterday, I showed the way to a misguided soul. Two
days before that, I was a reminder! Tomorrow, I may be a stumbling block.
When you decide every morning that your body is
simply a way for spirit to express, then you must recognize that means you are
in many ways, an angel, which means a
messenger of spirit. If I am an angel, I have to be led by God, and do the
work that allows the whole body to run more easily, like a well-oiled engine.
This isn’t an easy chore, when your heart always stands between you and the
best for the whole body. This is as if your appetite is the only part of your
body and you had no cognitive sense to stop eating. The body would be the size
of a house and all of your organs would shut down. So, as the metaphor stands,
if you are one piece of a beautiful and complete whole, then you must play your
role accordingly for the entire legion of souls to be in harmony. Sometimes,
the now wants to make you scratch your eyes, stomp your feet, and act like a
child because the Ego doesn’t want what the WholeBody needs. I know I have been
doing that and pouting for almost a month. Although, I’d like to believe I
understand that I have a purpose, it’s no fun to not get my way.
I want to be in a thriving, loving relationship. I
have always wanted that. I have been designed this way, wired for relationship.
Yet, the perfect one has eluded me all these years. Yes, I have had times (7
and 8 years) when relationship seemed to be perfect and right. But, my vision
is for two people to grow old together, especially since I’m aging quickly.
When you reach fifty and your single, a new kind of fear arises. What if I fall
and hit my head and no one hears me crying for help? Then I bleed out and die
because I was alone. I swear, I didn’t choose this! Honestly, I work hard at
trying to find the right person.
Some people would say that “trying” to find someone
or “working at relationship” is exactly what you shouldn’t do. Where
relationship is concerned—I know this from working with so many single
people—if you don’t make yourself available, you will not have dates and meet
anyone. You’ll sit on the couch hoping with your foot on the brake, instead of on
the gas.
I’ll be the first one to say, I don’t have all the
answers. I do know this for certain. If I want life to happen—relationship to
happen—I have to face forward and, first, accept my present situation. Second,
I have to step forward into life and begin to create my future. Third, make the
twists and turns that give me the most peace, even if it means depriving my Ego
of something it may want right now.
_______________________________
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
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