When a Prospect Date Says, “I’m a Mess or
Unavailable!” #walkaway
In every book I’ve ever written about relationship and
dealing with the harsh truth of what prospective dates tell you, I have always
said, “Believe what you hear and run when a person reveals the hard truth about
his life!” This being said, how hard is it to walk away when you bear the heavy
burden of an anxious attachment style? In other words, when you believe you are
a fixer, and your sole purpose in life is to hold on to what doesn’t want to be
captured, is it even possible for you to walk away?
If you put yourself in a situation where you are dating
the unavailable, you basically set yourself up for failure and hurt. Sometimes,
the soul goes where it needs to. We learn the hardest lessons when we let our
bodies and our attachments draw us to our next steps in life. But, if you’re
willing to sacrifice some hurt for a hard lesson, then go for it. You will
probably find the most passionate lover, because he or she will always be
looking at you as forbidden fruit. You will always see the passion as some move
toward a loving relationship.
Trust me on this one, unless you see action—real
movement—toward the person changing his/her old situation (marriage, stale
commitment, children holding parent captive because of addiction), you will
never have a real relationship. You would be better off making a friend of this
person and wait until the relationship he/she is in currently falls by the way
side. Then, your new friend gets his act together. Do this, rather than going
through the harrowing mess of being in the middle of a bad break-up. Usually, a
person leaves one long-term relationship and the next relationship is an
investigation into being single, at best. Rarely does a divorcée end up with the
first person she dates.
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