Is Understanding a Prerequisite to Love? #facinglove #yournewstory #psychology #spiritualadvice

I have been in a long-term relationships. Probably, if two of my relationships had been in a time when gay people were allowed to marry, I would have been a spouse. However, despite the amount of understanding I had gained from being in a live-in, long-term relationship, I never really understood love until I continued to have compassion and love, even though I couldn’t and didn’t understand the choice of my partner.

People make decisions in many ways. Sometimes a decision is made quickly, sometimes slowly and painfully, sometimes with graphs and spreadsheets. But, inherently, when life hands you a decision that involves emotions, we react in three different ways:

• avoidantly,
• anxiously, or
• securely.

If you do not understand the qualities of the human psyche, you may look at a partner’s decision as unfathomable, odd or even crazy. But true love takes none of that into consideration, especially when the decision does not involve the relationship. If the decision is a personal one, such as, which presidential candidate to endorse, a career change, or letting go of a long-standing friendship—these are all personal. What part of decision-making actually involves the other partner or spouse?

Many couples get into big trouble when one spouse tries to control the personal life and decisions of the other spouse; especially in the areas I have referred to above. Love has never been about “understanding” another person. Love is always about being “compassionate” in the face of not understanding.

True love is rare in these days. I feel fortunate to count myself among the few who have a relationship with his best friend, confident, and prayer partner. When all of these come together into a place where you also find a physical attraction, you have hit the jackpot! Why is this so?

We all desire to have in relationship:

• the strength of a friendship;
• the compassion of a mother;
• a solid, visceral physical attraction; and
• mostly the desire to spend time telling each other truths that you don’t feel free to share with anyone else in the world.

These special qualities in a marital or long-term relationships are paramount to success and ultimately to happiness.

“Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Relationships: Are They for Personal Growth? #spiritualadvice #relationshipadvice #newthought #racemind

I have been following a dear friend’s Facebook page for years. For the past five years, he has written some of the sweetest words about his partner. Then, finally the day came when he wrote they were engaged. I was so thrilled for him, because, quite honestly, I didn’t think my friend was able to commit to someone completely.

Fast forward: a couple months later I see that he is pictured with someone else on Facebook. I remark to the posting to find out that this picture is of him and his new boyfriend. My heart sank.

Come on, friends. Please show me that love can last! Show me that my illusion of personal relationship is just that—an illusion. I have never met, may never meet anyone who can stay in a relationship and remain happy.

I was tempted to write a note to my friend and say, “Hey, is it possible to say that we keep meeting people who are a little better for our growth, a little closer to our hearts, and can challenge us a bit deeper—or are we just of a sophomoric behavior and think that personal relationship is about finding the best NEW person and not learning through the challenges of the love that chooses to withstand the test of time?

I wish I were inundated with stories that denied my belief of relationship. I wish that I could say that many people who have endured long-standing relationships were happy and content and thankful. But, alas, they usually have sacrificed much of their life for a meaningless document that taught them little about loving themselves, which is often a much harder lesson than caring for another.

Do I sound bitter? HMMM. I guess I am a little angry that true love hasn’t found me yet. How about you?

I have always dreamed of true love. My friends often have laughed at me when I start remarking about this special person in my life. I believe this is so because they know eventually it will not last. Are they bitter, too, or just pragmatic?

Lately, I have stopped looking for love. If it chooses to find me, it’s going to have to bite me in the ass and take a grand hold to get me to notice or care. Life is a lot more peaceful and simpler when I stay focused on what I can see clearly.

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Why Do We Keep Making the Same Mistakes in Relationships? #relationshipadvice #psychology #spiritualadvice #lifecoach

Nothing feels more like a failure as when you set out to make a correct, well-thought-out decision. You decide on your intent and a pragmatic schedule of how, when, and where you will embark on your new idea. You even meditate about it, feeling as if you have done your best to decrease the likelihood of failure by taking it to prayer. Yet, often you sit in the same cesspool of tears wondering how you could have made the same exact mistake again—different characters, same plot, new relationship!

Everyday, you laugh at your decreasing desire to even try in relationship. Even opening your heart to one feel as if it takes too much energy. You have found amazing people with hearts of gold, and yet something, somehow, takes the relationship somewhere other than where you desire. You pray and treat for it and believe with all of your heart, defying all of your fear of the anxiety of the past? Yes, yes, and yes again.

Once again, though, you find yourself standing at the grave of yet another relationship that has morphed into a beautiful friendship, but not the intimate one you prayed for. What is left to do but release and let go?

This morning, as I meditated, I used a mantra that a psychologist and minister gave me two years ago:

“Relationship is what it is, not what I make of it.”

Personally, I have NOT lost hope that a loving, long-abiding, intimate relationship could happen for me. How and from where, I have no idea. I simply know this much:

1. I am open to it.
2. When I see it, I will know the right questions to ask so that I won’t make the same mistakes again.
3. I will follow the path to intimacy slowly, despite any sexual desire.
4. I will become friends and prayer partners before I miss the opportunity, and the relationship flows into a dream space of loving intimacy that seems to block out all sense.

Relationship is, at best, the hardest human conundrum. The reason this is so is because it takes more than just 100% of your work. It relies on 100% of someone else’s work, which you cannot—even if you try—control. If you are comfortable with the idea that you must control every part of your life, the likelihood of right relationship happening for you is probably not going to happen very soon. My best friends and family who are in relationship all suffer from the same problems as single people do, interestingly enough, loneliness, anger, desperation, and intimacy issues, as well.

No one person can solve your intimate problems. You must get comfortable with yourself, love spending time with you, and cherish and honor the peace that “no relationship” offers at this point in your life. Peace over drama wins every time.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in May or June of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Filling in the Relationship Cracks #spiritualrelationships #spirituality #findingpeace #relationshipsadvice #SOM

I had always imagined that the perfect model of marriage would be one that shared a deep spiritual connection, a loving friendship, and also a great physical attraction. I am beginning to wonder if what I considered to be the greatest of these attributes has actually become the detriment to each of my relationships.

Most people start off relationships with a mutual attraction. We have heard that this attraction often is caused by pheromones. From Scientific America:

Still, after decades of research, the story in humans is not quite so clear… Investigators now suggest that a suite of chemicals emitted from our bodies subliminally sways potential partnering. Smell, it seems, plays an underappreciated role in romance and other human affairs.

"We've just started to understand that there is communication below the level of consciousness," says Bettina Pause, a psychologist at Heinrich Heine University of Düsseldorf (H.H.U.), who has been studying pheromones and human social olfaction for 15 years. "My guess is that a lot of our communication is influenced by chemosignals."

I have felt this kind of attraction before, but it has only led me down the wrong road, time and time again. So, I decided that no matter the attraction or scent of love, I was going to find someone who had a belief or a Truth that was similar to mine.

In so doing, I had a few relationships that lasted about the same time as the ones without the spiritual connection. It seemed that my desire to “find” someone was actually the problem in the entire sequence of event. It is my belief that we can sow the seeds in life, but only God or Spirit can grow the tree.

My anxiousness to find love kept me from waiting for the beautiful tree of relationship that God had grown. Instead, I planted the seed for the perfect mate and went on my way to find my own mate. I don’t know if I ever really waited for God to grow the dream of relationship. More likely, as I know that emotional equivalents help our dreams to grow, I have probably stunted the growth of my real mate 100 times. Whenever I found a relationship, albeit a surrogate one, I had lost touch with the one that God was growing for me. Metaphorically, I can’t even remember where or when I planted the seed.

Many people, especially men, are more apt to use sexual surrogacy to satisfy needs while they wait for real love to grow. Does this anxiousness or selfishness somehow stunt the spiritual growth of the real partner that Spirit is growing in Mind? One would have to wonder.

If you decide that you want to take the Spiritual Route for finding love, I would suggest that you spend more time nurturing that seed that you are allowing to grow in the garden of your mind. You will know when it blooms. Your heart will be open and ready. The fragrance of it will draw you to it. We must trust our hearts to lead us in the direction where love leads us.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in May or June of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

What’s Your Pedigree? #relationshipadvice #truth #intimacy #spiritualadvice #spiritualreality

I had an initial conversation with a new acquaintance. Two times during the dialogue, I felt compelled to hang up the phone and discontinue the conversation. My need to hang up came from the thought that this person was being dismissive to me and a bit aloof.

As an observer of my own behavior, I stopped myself from being reactive to the conversation, because I felt my desire to hang up was based on a bruised ego. I also realized that my conversational topics and point of view could have evoked or triggered his tone and choice words that triggered me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt; especially, since we both go to the same church, basically work in the same field, and have a lot of the same beliefs about life.

After we hung up the telephone, I rehearsed the conversation in my mind. I realized that when anyone new asks me about myself, I usually begin with a bit about my spiritual take on life then continue with my pedigree (what I do, how I do it, how many times I have been successful, yadda yadda yadda…).

I have been through many of these conversations, especially in the clinical arena, as the first thing I ask my clients is to tell me a little about themselves, even before they tell me their reason for seeing me. I almost never understand who the person is by their pedigree. My following, more probing questions about what makes them tick as a person is what provides the information I need to get to know them more intimately.

As I looked back at the conversation with my new acquaintance, I was quick to share my strong point of view after every time he shared his opinion, which could have been perceived as judgmental. Also, I interrupted him in the middle of telling a story for clarification, and he said, “Well, I wasn’t finished with the story.” This really pushed my button, as I was not trying to be rude, I just wanted to clarify something he said. It was as if we were two dogs vying for dominance. This was not my idea of a great first conversation.

As I listened to the words I chose in the conversation, in my mind, now, though, I believe I would have hung up on myself. I was largely flagrant and led with my successful pedigree, instead the most authentic part of me, which is certainly not arrogance. I’m not sure why this person still wants to meet me for coffee, but I’m determined to not reenact the first conversation again.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Hoʻoponopono and the Slight Edge: “I Love You, but I Don’t Like You” #marriage #spiritualgrowth #poweroftouch #spiritualadvice

How many couples do you know who go through their days with the motto: “I love you, but I don’t like you”? I have a few couple friends who haggle their way through life with spats about almost everything. It’s always the same fight or similar. They don’t even realize that their bickering happens automatically, in front of their friends, their families, and most importantly their kids, who share the same tendency. They cannot seem to agree on a single thing. In fact, often each of them will automatically take the opposite side of an issue, simply out of habit.

There is a psychological theory called the Slight Edge. Basically, it states that there are very small things we do each day in life that literally make no mental or physical difference in our lives. But, when we continue to do them—day-in and day-out—they accumulate to cause dysfunction and disease. For instance: If you don’t brush your teeth for one day, this is a small infraction. But, if you continually miss that all-important appointment for dental health, your teeth will rot.

The same holds true with these small spats. Once in a while, yes, we will be in a bad mood and take it out on the person we love the most. However, if we let this infraction become a habit and the mainframe of everyday with the partner we have chosen to cherish, honor, and love, our relationship will deteriorate.

In Hawaii, an ancient reconciliation and forgiveness practice is called Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono). When something like this spat occurs, simply say this small phrase: “I love you. I’m Sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” Say it every time. Say it to the person. Then say it to yourself.

Say it before you begin the fight. Say it when you remember you’re fighting. Stop the insanity of your constant bickering!

It serves no one.

It is that Slight Edge that, if it continues, will slowly deteriorate your relationship to nothing.

Do you really want that? (Share if you agree!)

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

When Love Stays: Even After You Break Up #relationships #relationshipadvice #spiritualadvice #divorce

More than any emotional issue, the break-up is the most difficult. Countless clients end up at my doorstep working on the residual effects and tying up the loose ends of lost love. Difficult does not even begin to describe the kinds of trauma ending any relationship can bring up in your life. But, how do we begin to deal with this kind of loss?

The best advice I have ever been told, when it comes to dealing with loss is this:

When we begin to grieve the loss of a love, we are actually grieving over what could have been, more than the actual relationship. Divorce brings up every relationship you have ever lost—all at the same time, which is why it becomes so overwhelming. Your loss becomes a compilation of all the lost love at the same time, which is often why break-ups become more intense the older you get.

If you go the route of psychology, human behavior science suggests that every person goes through 5-7 stages of grief:

• SHOCK & DENIAL
• PAIN & GUILT
• ANGER & BARGAINING
• "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS
• THE UPWARD TURN
• RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
• ACCEPTANCE & HOPE (recover-from-grief.com, 2016)

If you take the Spiritual Truth route and use Spiritual Mind Treatment, you are likely to still go through all the stages of human grief, but you will go through them quickly, because you have done your work. What I have found in my own life is that loss becomes easier when you truly deal with the symptoms of loss and your own anxious behavior around love.

The last time a relationship did not work out in my life, I do not even remember crying. It was as if I had already done the crying over the worst loss in my life (when my mother left her six children at my age of 8), which led to anxious attachment in all subsequent relationships. I know my truth and what want from an intimate relationship. So, when one does not work out, I trust that it was the wrong one. I trust the NOW and Spirit, which is the Truth I’ve been working on all along.

Spiritual Mind Treatment would suggest that we build on the Truth that we know and have taught our minds to live, not just think. When we feel emotions come up, we call on the Source of Truth within the universe to lead us to an even greater Truth. We begin to recognize that this greater Truth is worth the lesson of any pain that human relationships could trigger in us. This is what I have learned:

Those who Spirit has called to be together, stay together. When it is time for some relationships to end, we must let them go, because we are making room for another, better, bigger, more loving relationship to fulfill us in ways we could never expect.

The same God that created the universe, created you out of an abundance of love. No love is ever lost.

The Spirit of God in Me cannot and will not REJECT the Spirit of God in You.

It is an impossibility. So, if you wait long enough, usually you can look back at the lost love and understand the reason it had to go in another direction. Sometimes, we are fortunate enough to see that person in another relationship and realize this was not our dream. Or maybe we can see that their happiness was not contingent upon us being in their life. That, too, is a gift. Love for anyone is always better than bitterness and pain.

You see, we must resolve our own pain around relationship, because our work here on earth is about bringing positive energy on to the Earth. If we get stymied by personal relationships, we will never learn to be the Spiritual Beings we are meant to be. My guess is that this is why the Apostle Paul felt so strongly about staying single. He knew how much energy personal relationship took and was more willing to do the work of Spirit than of his own humanness.

I’m a believer of balance, so I still believe that personal relationship could exist for you and me. But still, I haven’t been fortunate enough to find a spiritual friend who is also an intimate partner. Perhaps, one day, I will find one. But, even at 55 years old, I am not prepared to struggle anymore for ephemeral human relationship that has caused more loss of joy than anything else in my life. If relationship happens, it happens. I’m good with that now, which also makes opening my heart to the idea of love even easier. I do not bring my emotional baggage to each relationship and force the other person involved to help me resolve my problems. I take my psychological problems to practitioners who are trained to help me, instead of bringing smelly garbage into someone else’s life who does not deserve it.

I hope this helps those who are in any stage of grief over loss. You will get through it. You will get through even faster if you continue to confess the Truth of what you know about love!

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: 

Is Your Security Wall Blocking Love? #findinglove #buildingwalls #spiritualadvice #livingtruth

If you are old enough to have had a relationship or two… (or three or ten), then you already know that opening your heart to love also allows your heart to be broken when someone handles you as if you were made of an unbreakable substance.

When you have suffered from a bad relationship, you generally make laws against the same bad behavior and build walls to protect you from that same hurt from happening once again. This protective act is not necessarily a bad thing. But what of the person that has had his/her heart broken so many times that he or she has built so many walls of protection that, now, a big sign exists on her forehead that says: DO NOT ENTER—EVER?

After decades of declining marriage rates and changes in family structure, the share of American adults who have never been married is at an historic high. In 2012, one-in-five adults ages 25 and older (about 42 million people) had never been married. In 1960, only about one-in-ten adults (9%) in that age range had never been married.

Men are more likely than women to have never been married (23% vs. 17% in 2012). This gender gap has widened since 1960, when 10% of men ages 25 and older and 8% of women of the same age had never married. (Power Research Center, 2014)

These trends lead me to believe that more than just choosing careers over relationship are causing people to think twice before buying into the idea that committed relationship is naturally a part of a happy life. In fact, as sex APPs on cell phones are becoming more and more popular, it is easier to have sex delivered to your front door than it is a pizza (thanks, Dr. Chris for that metaphor)!

Psychologically, we all want security and peace, but we look for it in untraditional ways, as of late. Is this because we enjoy the variety, our liberty, or because our hearts have been broken too many times?

I know of one 55-year-old woman who has never been married, nor has she ever had a stable relationship in her entire life. As I have lived on the periphery of her life for many years, I have watched as her sense of need changes, and how much less time she spends searching for a mate, now, and more time she spends looking for authentic relationships (with men and women). She feels, as do I, that, eventually, her authentic movement forward to find right and truthful friendships will lead her to someone special. More importantly, that someone special will have the necessary ability to be open, honest, and transparent.

So, the question bears asking: Are our walls that we build from our hurt—helping us, or hurting us, in our desire to find right relationship?

Here is the litmus test: If you find that someone appears to be a good person, attractive to you, and resonates with you spiritually and mentally, and you are not able to open your heart to the possibility of relationship—then your walls have become too high. This, however, can just be a sign that it is time to start removing the bricks around you—one by one—that have kept you safe from hurt.

No one is asking you to hire a wrecking ball to break down your walls. That would be harmful to your spirit and mind. But, taking time to open your heart is imperative to have authentic relationships. Two hearts cannot completely communicate when a metaphoric wall is between them. Remember this important fact:

If you build up a wall around you because of hurt, you not only keep bad relationship away, but you also keep good people away, and more importantly, the spirit of God from flowing through you easily and freely.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in January 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]