Preparing
for the Cross—Part Three
Look at Your Past with
Compassion
Researching
your past is much like me writing my screenplay and doing the research to
create a palatable character. What
you are now is made of all the parts you were in the past. So, you must ask
yourself questions like:
Ø What are
your social, political, and religious views?
Ø Did you
development them yourself, or were they placed upon you?
Ø Was there
some trauma in your past that has changed the way you view the rest of your
life?
Ø And my
favorite question: What part of your human anatomy, fondly resembles your aging
relatives? “Is it your belly that looks just like your daddy’s? Or is it your
thighs that look just like grandmother?
To
make effective change you must discover what part of your thinking is actually
yours and what was simply fed to you or done
to you. In doing so, you have to sift out what no longer serves your life and
replace those ways of thinking with ways that do serve you.
Life is like a threshing floor.
Read
the following statement aloud: “I release and let go of all things that no
longer serve my life. I am open and willing for change!”
After
doing so, check out your body. Were you barely moving your lips? Were your legs
crossed, arms crossed, or your lips so tight they are turning white? Clearly, everything you have ever let
go of had claw marks in it, right?
Change
takes openness. That’s for sure. And commitment. And true authenticity about
everything that has happened to you in your past.”
Making a Strong Commitment
to Change
Let’s
try repeating this bold statement again.
Aloud. This time with meaning.
With your palms and arms open:
“I release and let go of all things that no longer
serve my life. I am open and willing for change.”
Let’s
look at some of the questions you can ask yourself concerning your past
history:
a. How did your
family life affect you? This is a huge question. But, to undo unproductive
thinking, you often have to rediscover your family life patterns, and see how
you’re reliving them NOW. No one likes to hear you are acting like your mother
or father. But the truth is, sometimes we do. I know I can be a very controlling,
just as my dad was, if I don’t watch myself with an authentic and compassionate
eye.
b. What traits
are you holding of your parents that you want to let go of today?
i. To make it
easier, Let’s focus on just one trait and make a commitment for change in just
this one area for now. There is no
better time than now to make this change.
Everyday
I hear stories from clients that change me, make me look deeper into my own
soul for understanding. When I find myself drifting off into my own head and
thoughts, while a client is sharing his or her story, I force myself back into
the present moment and listen harder.
Why? Because I know that what he or she is saying is probably something
I may be avoiding in my own self.
We
are all like mirrors to each other. When I look at you or am bothered by you,
it’s really you holding up a mirror to a part of me that I am not wanting to
look at. And I need to look at that part to become a better person.
I’ve
come to believe that if you don’t question your thoughts, you are probably
suffering from some mental disorder, most specifically narcissism. This
practice of self-exploration didn’t happen over night. In fact, it has taken me
many years to realize that all that I have in this world is right here in this
moment. I can choose to waste the moment, keep reliving it over and over with
the same unproductive thoughts and unproductive actions, or be open and free to
experience the next moment of precious life.
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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