Learned Helplessness #psychology #behaviormodification #spirituality #bodyandmind

If a tiger is put in a cage that is only large enough for it to walk in small circles, for two years, even if he gets put into a huge environment, the tiger is likely to only walk in those same small circles, thereafter. This behavior is called “learned helplessness.”

From Wikipedia: Learned helplessness is behavior typical of an organism (human or animal) that has endured repeated painful or otherwise adverse stimuli, which it was unable to escape or avoid. After such experience, the organism often fails to learn to escape in new situations where such behavior would be effective.

We can see this behavior in humans who have suffered traumatic events as children that seem to give up trying when faced with even the greatest of chances to better themselves. They self-sabotage and commit to less because their minds won’t let them outside of the old paradigm of confinement.

With this being said, how do we change the state of avoidance and belief from a situation that may have caused learned helplessness in our own lives?

I had a recent event in my own life that brought about a feeling of wanting to give up and not try. The event triggered the worst parts of my ego. It brought up insecurity, the need to be perfect to get love, and also pushed me into a dark and scary place.

I clearly needed to get help quickly, otherwise, I would have sunk even deeper into a depression, I’m sure. This, to me, was clearly a PTSD event that brought back some serious, old feelings of insecurity.

I was told that I did something wrong, when I didn’t believe I had. This was one person’s perception, but it was someone important to me. Nonetheless, I let his judgment of a situation cloud my entire mind, until I was curled up in my bed, holding my heart and asking for help from God.

In my quiet, I heard a kind voice say to me, “I have already helped you. I have given you the keys to the kingdom, to your creative mind. I have given you back the power that was stolen from you. USE IT!”

I remembered the scripture in the Bible where Jesus said, “Physician, heal yourself!” And I actually understood it was up to me to change my helplessness into power.

I brought myself back to the time when I was hiding in the closet as a child, one of the few places as a young kid that I felt safe. I remembered that little boy who experienced helplessness and the feeling of being unloved. Those exact feelings as a child mirrored what I felt in that moment. What I faced as an adult was nothing compared to the abuse of my childhood, but nonetheless, I had the same feelings of wanting to give up and quit. No matter how hard I tried, I felt unloved and wrong in the current situation. So, instead of facing my life, I hid in my closet. In this case, it was under my covers in my bed.

My prayer was simple, but effective, when I got the courage to finally pray it:

“I know that God is all in all; in the immensity of the universe and in the smallest memories of my past. The energy of love and creativity exists in God and has been passed to me as a child of the Creator. I firmly accept this challenge to be the man God created me to be. I reject the premise of old that would say that I am less than, not good enough, or my light is not bright enough for the world. I am all that God has made me and much more than I can imagine.

“What would I be without this old, negative thought that I am “not enough?” Would I be more powerful, unlimited in my resource, and flow in divine prosperity? Indeed, I would. So, I lift my eyes unto the source of all good and trust that I c0-abide as love, in love, and am always expressing as love. This I believe to be true about my current situation, as I face it as an adult, not as a hurt, young child.”

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in May or June of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

What Is PTG? #posttraumaticgrowth #PTSD #Scienceofmind #psychology #spiritualadvice

Most people have heard of—or experienced—PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. A simple definition of PTSD would be a traumatic incident that happened during one’s childhood or life, may inhibit psychological growth and often causes severe depression, especially when triggered with a similar situation.

PTG, however, is positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event. Although the University of North Carolina at Charlotte has recently coined the term posttraumatic growth, the idea that human beings can be changed by their encounters with life challenges—sometimes in radically positive ways—is not new. In fact, these kinds of positive changes have been tracked for years.

Posttraumatic growth tends to occur in five general areas. Sometimes people who face major life crises:

1. Could develop a sense that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle, opening up possibilities that were not present before;
2. Experience a change in relationships with others. They can also experience an increased sense of connection to others who have suffered in a similar way;
3. May have an increased sense of their own strength;
4. Develop a greater appreciation for life in general; and
5. Some individuals experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, often involving a significant change in their belief system. This is the part of the study that has been monitored for quite some time. In fact, it has been discussed in psychological circles that any kind of spirituality often can help heal and sometimes lessen the impact of a tragic event, even to the point of helping encourage a person to overcome obstacles to become a powerful influence in the world. Most motivational speakers have lived through PTSD to tell about it and help encourage other people to look for their greatness within.

NOTE: This study does not by any means suggest that some one who has grown as a result of struggle will not at some point still struggle with PTSD. This study also does not suggest that pain or trauma of any kind is a good thing.

Ultimately, this new idea or coined phrase, PTG, a good thing. I believe we can always look for the rainbow after the storm. In particular, when something presumed negative happens to me, I always ask how I can get out of the way of the pain to see the lesson that I need to learn.

The difference for me as a spiritually evolving human being is that I now believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. And the likelihood of me looking for that reason, even in the midst of the difficulty, is in all actuality why I heal faster and have a more positive attitude about life in general.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Finding Resolve from My Insane Ego! #neuralpathways #psychology #anxiety #releasingthepast

Even the simplest of materials, broken down to its smallest ingredients is created from voluminous amounts of different combinations of atoms from the periodic chart. While most people generally go through life not even considering the combination of atoms that created milk; the majority of adults, however, wonder how certain insane thoughts came into existence in their own minds. Most of us wonder about what gave us the eschewed beliefs that have caused so much anxiety in our minds.

When you relive a thought over and over again in your mind hoping to come out with a better outcome, we define this as insanity. Yet, knowing this, we close our eyes to sleep and the scenario begins again. An answer occurred to me when I asked myself a very simple question: When was the first time that you remember feeling this powerful negative thought or emotion? As I went back into the recesses of my mind, I discovered a story I hadn’t remembered before, one that was hidden from my own consciousness.

Our minds are clever. When a thought is too painful, we have parts of our consciousness that protect us from that particular thought. This is why memories often come back in bits and pieces, especially painful ones that caused Post Traumatic Stress.

My particular thought came as I meditated quietly, asking for guidance about a circular thought of insecurity and abandonment that I often feel. I saw a vision of young boy—me—in a baseball dugout, anxious and angry about being forced to be there. My turn to bat was about to arrive. My heart raced and my stomach screamed out in pain, because I was never ready for that moment. No one had ever helped me practice, not even the coach. I was the kid who only got put in the line-up in the ninth inning when my team had no chance of losing.

In my dream, I would strikeout over and over again. But, the worst part of the dream was looking out into the bleachers for my remiss parents who never were a part of the crowd of supportive ones cheering in the bleachers. I was angry, abandoned, and left to support my own self at seven years old. At the end of the night, I walked home for one long, lonely mile in the dusk, alone, usually crying.

What I discovered in my dream was a sad scenario, yes. But, what excited me about this revelation was that I finally began to understand the impact of those moments as a child. As an adult, I can now help that young child inside of me to heal that feeling of abandonment, which wasn’t my fault at all. What a relief to know that the compound mixture of emotions that is now what I call insecurity, actually has a beginning.

As a chef, I know that if I can define all of the ingredients in a particular dish that I had tasted, I usually can come up with a recipe to create a similar result. So, too, knowing the ingredients of my circular thoughts, helped me to recreate a scenario that could finally be healed. I can now relieve those parts of my mind that seek to protect me from the painful inception of my insecurities—from their long appointed posts—and let the memory be healed.

Now, every time I feel insecure, I can talk to Bobby—my inner child—and tell him how precious and wonderful he is… was. I can share with him that, despite his feelings of being abandoned, he was not the cause of this pain. I can, also, assure my inner child that I—the adult—will never put him in a situation like the one from my childhood.

This is a start—a great start to heal the wounds of my insane ego. Yes, I know, with my deductive brain, that I am whole and complete, always, as a part of God. But, oftentimes, we all need to come out of our own ego bodies and minds long enough to treat the wounds of our past. This is my resolve and treatment for you:

“This is what I know. Spirit God is whole and complete, as am I, a part of this wonderful, loving creative energy we call Source. I’m thankful for this truth and for the Law of Creation. I’m knowing for myself and for anyone reading this that you, too, are whole and complete, right now. Nothing can add or subtract from the love that you are, wherever you are right at this moment. Feel this love in every part of your body and mind, seeking to enlighten and enliven you.

“I’m also knowing that anywhere in your ego mind that pain still exists as an effect from something in your past, that—in a time of divine inspiration and protection—you, too, will find the inception of your circular thinking, the story where the pain began. When you do find this story, you will also find the grace to forgive yourself, the people in your life who caused the feeling, and begin to walk on the awesome pathway to healing. I know this for you and for myself, right now, as I release this prayer to the Law. And so it is!

Today's featured book is “The Anxious Attachment of a Gay Man.” It's a book birthed from my own spiritual growth, through relationships. I guarantee you'll be blessed by the positive impact, many years of therapy had on my mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

What Is Fired Together, Is Wired Together #neuralpathways #psychology #anxiety #divorce

I had a dream about a time when I was seven or eight. All of my siblings went to the local swimming hole, but I felt sick and stayed home. However, my mother, with a crisp dollar bill, coerced me to walk to a candy store that was about a 1/2 mile away. Instead of feeling sick, suddenly, I felt better. All I could think of for the entire hour it took to walk to the store, choose my goodies, and then walk home alone was how lucky I was to have stayed home and had been the recipient of that one dollar bill. (In 1968, one dollar was a lot of money to buy a great deal of junk for a child.)

When I returned home, my mother and all of her belongings were gone from the home. She had left my father. I suddenly realized why she wanted me away from the home. Internally, I had never completely understood what I had felt in that moment had why it had impacted my entire life. Yes, I realized it affected my relationship paradigm. But, what I didn’t know was something even simpler and ultimately physical: The junk and the candy I had eaten had caused me to feel sick to my stomach, as did the situation. So, as a result, whenever I get nervous about rejection or abandonment of any kind, my stomach aches, as if it were that same moment forty years ago.

I called a psychologist friend of mine and asked if he knew of any techniques to disengage such a physical response to an old emotion. He said, he wanted to think on it, but his first impression was: what is fired together is wired together. In other words, the brain synapse had already been fused, and good luck with disengaging from the emotion or the feeling, which has been my life quest!

As a clinical hypnotherapist, for almost twenty-five years, I sat across from thousands of clients who felt similar feelings about food, relationships, abandonment, and ultimately PTSD moments like mine. As I led each of them through techniques (mostly hypnotic), most clients felt some relief. But, the truth about any technique that distorts or changes the pathway of a neural pathway firing, is that you must continue to do these techniques every time you have the feeling. Otherwise, the body acts as if you have felt this emotion or physical pain for the first time. It’s an autonomic response that fires even before your cognitive mind knows what has happened.

In some ways, knowing that the physical feeling and the emotional feeling are automatic and caused from an old scenario does help me to put my current situation and feelings into perspective. If you can step away from any feeling you have and observe it and your body, you always have a bigger opportunity to make change.

I have been researching this, lately, so, keep reading the blog, because I’m likely to come up with something that will help even more than hypnosis. Spirit would not have us stay emotionally helpless for our entire lives. There is an answer out there. If anyone of my readers has a good suggestion, let me know. I’d be happy to share.

Today's featured book is “Finding Authentic You.” It's a book birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

In Me, As Me, Is Me!

Sometimes we wake up feeling so human that we can’t begin to believe that the “kingdom of God is within” us. Some days look bleak, overcast, and cold—much like our souls and bodies feel—a mirror perhaps into our human condition at the time. But who we are in Spirit never changes, no matter what our conditions appear to be. So, the only attribute of us that needs to switch gears is in our minds. We have to be able to see that God is in us, working as us on this earth for our experience to change from negative to positive.

I have been wrestling with this point of view for a few days. After many days of feeling on top of the world and that the universe was at my fingertips, I slipped in a malaise of fear and couldn’t seem to see my good no matter how many affirmations I whispered to myself. I will share my experience of getting back on the horse, as it were, so that you may be helped my own process of regaining my power in the face of negativity.

Most times, when we lose our power, we can go back in our minds and find a trigger that set us back a few steps. For me, it was one man who spoke to me as if I were a child, chastising me for something I didn’t even know I had done and didn’t have the tools to know I did something incorrectly. So, two things happened in that moment. I felt as if I was unprotected by God because I hadn’t been given the tools for the test, before the test was given. And a person, much like my father, triggered a PTSD moment for me about my dad’s abusive nature to me as a child.

After this encounter, I spent the first day in a daze. I lost all energy for anything in life, even parts of my life that had nothing to do with what happened. I walked around accusing people and pointing out flaws in things so that I couldn’t and wouldn’t look at my own self for answers. But, I did one truly wonderful thing, that, perhaps, I may not have done a year ago. I reached out to a friend, before I went completely AWOL (absent without leave) from my spiritual core.

This friend is a spiritual counselor and a wise man (thank you, David) because he didn’t buy into my story. He listened quietly to what happened and said, “Bo, you are not going to be helped by me encouraging you to believe your own negative story. However, I’m going to share some points of view from your story that might change how you look at it.”

He proceeded to share how the people in my life felt as they reacted to how I “acted out” after I had been triggered. Psychologically, he actually, switched my neural pathways into seeing a different perspective, which I needed in that moment. (People with PTSD sometimes have to use illogical patterning to switch off the old story, to gain right perspective. An example to help someone get out of a PTSD moment is to get them to count backward from 100 subtracting 3 every time. The therapeutic logic can be looked at, if you wish, in many sources on the Internet.)

Though it hurt to not have a friend encourage me with hugs and “you’re wonderful,” what my friend did was exactly what I needed in that moment. After I hung up with him, I began to take a mental assessment of what I was feeling, instead of avoiding my hurt. I reached into the locked vault of “you’re wrong and terrible for being wrong” to find that maybe admitting where I made mistakes was better than adjudicating them.

Then, I went one step further to notice that making a mistake is not sinful or horrible, but simply part of being human. I wasn’t a “bad boy” for being human. I simply fell short of my principles for a moment. When I assessed all of this, I began to affirm my oneness with God and Spirit again. I noticed, immediately, that my words did not return to me void. My consciousness began to accept the affirmations of my good because I ACCEPTED ME!

Then, when I began to feel like Bo again, I did a mental assessment of who I hurt the process, much like the 12-step programs. After I did my work, my clarity returned. I’m now able to see that God works in me, as me, and IS Me on this earth. I embrace who I am with power, as should you!

 

This book is a story of never saying what you want or believe, until maybe it’s too late. This piece of Southern Literary Fiction will have you laughing and crying as the confusion of life, love, and crazy characters find their way into your heart. Go to Amazon!

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

Changing Your Thoughts

Changing the neurology of the brain has eluded psychiatrists, psychologist, and therapists alike. Everyone seems to know what gives us brain disorders and causes us to mentally malfunction. But no one has a real theory on how to change the neurological behavior. So, we are left like a cancer patient with no treatment options.

We recognize that most mental disorders result in addictive thinking. This is a great way to begin your search for the most effective way to change the result of your habitual thoughts. If we can’t change the neurology of the brain, then the next best action to take is changing or redirecting the energy of the problem.

We may not know or be able to describe a practical theory of healing mental disorders, but studies have shown that some of the worst cases of addictive thought have been miraculously changed by one thing—a spiritual influence. For proof, we don’t have to travel too far to see how the “#Twelve-Step programs” around the world have proven this fact over and over again, by millions of people taking the first major step toward effective change—Having a power greater than ourselves. You don’t have to accept anyone’s idea of that higher power. You just need a greater power than you.

My belief is that accepting a higher power actually gets you into your own Higher Conscious Brain Power. If you make a conscious choice to say to yourself: “God, please help me with this addiction!” then, you have changed your addictive thought in that moment (the neurological pathway). So, the power of change may not be in the spirituality itself, but in the law of Spiritual Action, which is: “What is in mind, will respond in kind!” “Ask and you shall receive.” “Seek and you shall find (answers).” If you let one of these affirmations replace your old belief, you have made a conscious choice to change, which is a great first step to regaining your power.

Some skeptics say that one is weak if he/she accepts any help from the elusive higher power to help them in the process of change. However weak or not, the ones who have chosen this course of action are 60% more successful at changing addictive thought. These high numbers are hard to argue with. So, in answer to our question about changing old behavior, we might start with discovering what keeps us from our higher power or—a different way of thinking about that—from choosing for yourself a different thought process?

I had a great talk with a psychologist yesterday who also is a reverend at my church and has worked with addiction for fifty years. He told me the first step to repairing a life that has been malfunctioning as a result of addiction is to, first, deal with the empty space created by stopping the addiction. Trust me, you won’t have to look too far to see where you can spend your newly liberated energy. Most people recovering from addiction can easily see that relationships and work-related finances have greatly suffered.

The first step to changing the behavior in your mind is creating a diversion from the problem. If you don’t have time to think about a cigarette, you won’t smoke one. I can’t tell you how many smokers I have treated with hypnosis, who can go the entire work day (8-10 hours) without a cigarette, then smoke an entire pack at night while having nothing to do. If you’re bouncing on a fitness ball while watching television, I guarantee you won’t have enough oxygen to smoke a cigarette. If you knit while you watch television, your hands won’t be available to eat junk food.

If you focus on writing and reading more, attending classes, going to Meet-up groups for various activities, you will inevitably spend much less time thinking about the lack of relationship in your life.

Get a free advanced copy of my latest book at Amazon Here!

Coming Up: Creating Space for your new life—everyday.

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

PTSD, Sensory Defensive and Transparent

PTSD< Sensory Defensive>Transparency

I awoke this morning after a dream about my childhood with an anxious heart. I wanted to jump up from the bed and scream, but I lay still and crawled closer to my partner. He didn’t understand what I was feeling, so he wasn’t able to help me with trauma one experiences who has had a Post Traumatic event in his or her past.

I’m writing this because I realized that after I took my dog for a walk and thought about it, I have been playing the same role of a child with my partner and needed to be transparent about what had happened and how we both could deal with it as adults in the perfect present.

When you have a PTSD moment that is triggered by an action, dream, thought, smell, or event, your heart automatically goes into fear. Depending on the event, you could even show signs of disorientation. For me, this wasn’t a bad event. I was just triggered a bit and felt, for about 30 minutes, that I was back in that sexually abusive environment.

This causes, for some people, a state called Sensory Defensiveness. If you have never heard of this disease, believe me, it’s real. All of your senses get heightened to the point that a touch can feel like a stab wound, a smell can be caustic, and even a kiss can feel like someone you love is smothering you. The result is “Fight of Flight” mode for the physical mind and body. Many studies of PTSD show that this trigger superseded the rational brain. So, no matter what you know about yourself or your past, you still must recognize that a trigger could happen, and have resources in place to talk you down from your fear.

Sensory defensiveness is treated with occupational therapy. Two of the things that are most used in the easing of the defensiveness are weight and light brushing of the skin. The reason why these are used is because the PTSD causes neural pathways to fire fast and erratically. Weight and light brushing causes confusing to the neural pathways and the effect is generally an easing of the symptoms.

So, this morning, had I been transparent with my partner and explained to him ahead of time how to deal with an event like this, this is what it may have looked like:

I awaken with fear. He awakes and notices I’m withdrawn and my heart is racing. I tell him that I have had a bad dream. He asks me what the dream is about. I tell him that the dream was about my childhood. I recognizes that my PTSD came from a childhood event, so must assume that I am triggered. He goes into HELP mode. What he can do is help me to breathe slowly. Maybe even breathe with me for a while, very gently rubbing me with just his finger tips, so soft you may feel like you just touching the hair not the skin. If I have a weighted blanket or pillow or weighted vest, he may reach for that and put it over me. This gives the person the bundled effect that a baby feels when he’s crying in the night.

So, the end result would have been a tender moment of help, instead of a withdrawal and misunderstanding. Because of my work with self-inquiry, I was able to ask myself questions about why I felt the way I did. As a result, I came up with a solution that not only helped me, but also helped my partner understand me a little better and soothe my misbegotten pain.

I hope this helps those of you who suffer from trauma in the past.

______________________________________________

Go to Week 3 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

______________________________________________

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!