I had a dream about a time when I was seven or eight. All of my siblings went to the local swimming hole, but I felt sick and stayed home. However, my mother, with a crisp dollar bill, coerced me to walk to a candy store that was about a 1/2 mile away. Instead of feeling sick, suddenly, I felt better. All I could think of for the entire hour it took to walk to the store, choose my goodies, and then walk home alone was how lucky I was to have stayed home and had been the recipient of that one dollar bill. (In 1968, one dollar was a lot of money to buy a great deal of junk for a child.)
When I returned home, my mother and all of her belongings were gone from the home. She had left my father. I suddenly realized why she wanted me away from the home. Internally, I had never completely understood what I had felt in that moment had why it had impacted my entire life. Yes, I realized it affected my relationship paradigm. But, what I didn’t know was something even simpler and ultimately physical: The junk and the candy I had eaten had caused me to feel sick to my stomach, as did the situation. So, as a result, whenever I get nervous about rejection or abandonment of any kind, my stomach aches, as if it were that same moment forty years ago.
I called a psychologist friend of mine and asked if he knew of any techniques to disengage such a physical response to an old emotion. He said, he wanted to think on it, but his first impression was: what is fired together is wired together. In other words, the brain synapse had already been fused, and good luck with disengaging from the emotion or the feeling, which has been my life quest!
As a clinical hypnotherapist, for almost twenty-five years, I sat across from thousands of clients who felt similar feelings about food, relationships, abandonment, and ultimately PTSD moments like mine. As I led each of them through techniques (mostly hypnotic), most clients felt some relief. But, the truth about any technique that distorts or changes the pathway of a neural pathway firing, is that you must continue to do these techniques every time you have the feeling. Otherwise, the body acts as if you have felt this emotion or physical pain for the first time. It’s an autonomic response that fires even before your cognitive mind knows what has happened.
In some ways, knowing that the physical feeling and the emotional feeling are automatic and caused from an old scenario does help me to put my current situation and feelings into perspective. If you can step away from any feeling you have and observe it and your body, you always have a bigger opportunity to make change.
I have been researching this, lately, so, keep reading the blog, because I’m likely to come up with something that will help even more than hypnosis. Spirit would not have us stay emotionally helpless for our entire lives. There is an answer out there. If anyone of my readers has a good suggestion, let me know. I’d be happy to share.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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