Learning to Sleep Alone #Sensory Defensiveness #Self #selfcare #spiritualadvice #anxiousattachment

Sensory Defensiveness is a condition that causes individuals to be overly sensitive to touch, sound, smells, light, and ultimately a little more sensitive socially, as a result. I was diagnosed with this condition soon after a break-up with a partner who insisted I go shopping in musty antique stores. When I would get weak and needed to sit after 30 minutes, he suspected I was faking something, so that I wouldn’t have to go with him on his antique excursions. I couldn’t convince him, otherwise.

Eventually, he broke up with me because he felt as if I put no effort into his interests. I couldn’t argue with him. If what your partner does affects your health, adversely, you probably will eventually stop trying. So, I broke with a man who treated me the best of any of my partners in the past, because of an illness. Soon after, I got the diagnosis. One of the books I was asked to read was “Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Over-stimulating” by Sharon Heller. By then, the ex was already in another relationship. 

As I began the discovery of how to treat my over-sensitivity, I realized that the disease I had was a form of adult autism; albeit, a mild one, autism, nonetheless. This diagnosis is much more prevalent in young children, because it expresses as only eating one or two kinds of food, resistance to crowds and socialization, and headaches. As a child, I stayed inside mostly, because sports hurt my body, and I was allergic to just about everything outside. I went to bed hungry a lot of time, because I couldn’t and wouldn’t eat what was served at the dinner table. (In those days, parents didn’t consider physical conditions. They just thought you were obstinate.) Eventually, my parents realized that I really couldn’t eat some of the food they offered without vomiting.

Everyone knew something was different about me from a very young age, but I didn’t know what. Kids at school simply thought I was a frail gay boy and made fun of me. As this sensitivity manifested in harsher ways as an adult, I became more frustrated with life, and a bit depressed, because it seemed everyone just thought I was too picky and too sensitive, including friends and lovers—INCLUDING ME!

Some of the ways this affected me as an adult was over-sensitivity to smells like cologne, which instantly gave me a migraine; amplification of pain, so much so that I lived on Aleve; tremendous fatigue in crowded spaces after about 15 minutes; fatigue in groceries stores because of smell; and with my ex, fatigue in dusty places; and sleeplessness, because I felt everything around me—sounds, the touch of the sheets, pains—even more when I relaxed. I also couldn’t be around very bright light without getting a migraine, as well. So, you can imagine how isolated one with this disease begins to feel.

I, also, had no idea there was a name for this disease, until well into my early forties. What a relief to know there was a name, a diagnosis, and ways to treat this over-sensitivity. One of the ways happens to be with weight. For instance, if you have a great deal of pain or are overly sensitive to touch, you can wear ankle weights. What this does is stop the fast firing of the neural pathways of the brain and refocuses this energy toward your feet instead of the area of your body where the pain or sensitive exists.

I bought these body wraps that are filled with sand and very heavy so that I could use them around my neck or on my legs as I sat or slept. This comforted me in much the same way as a hug, or the closeness of another human being, especially during sleep. I discovered that, if I slept with this weight on me (even weighted blankets), I felt as if I was being held all night. Suddenly, I felt secure and certainly not alone.

Last night, as I prepared for bed, I realized that anyone who didn’t know that I had this disease would think I was a total nutcase. I sleep propped up, with a weighted wrap around my neck and over my head, and usually I’m freezing, so I have very soft blankets on me and 2000 count sheets between me and the covers, because of their softness. Wherever I rest my hands has to be completely soft, or I won’t be able to sleep, and I can’t be touching my own body. (Well, now you know why I’m single!)

The truth be told, if someone hugs me while I fall asleep, the pressure of their arms, combined with the feeling of security, creates exactly the same environment of comfort as I created with all of my paraphernalia. So, sleeping alone is not so fun. But, I realized one wonderful thing—I don’t need another person to fall asleep. This is a great lesson for anyone who has anxious attachment issues, has just gone through a break-up, or can’t seem to find the right mate!

Today's featured books are my book on Meditation, Gluten-free cooking, and  “Finding Authentic You.” The last is a book birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Migraines Are Costly for Everyone #migraines #Trigeminalneuralgia #headaches #sensorydefensiveness I got my first migraine about ten years ago. Before that, I had only had one headache, so I didn’t even know it was a migraine. I’m not sure what brought the first one on, but as the years went by, I kept getting them more frequently and more intensely. Eventually, a physician moved into an apartment I was renting, and brought me very expensive samples of a medication called Maxalt that would get rid of the pain in minutes. When he moved out, I tried getting my personal physician to prescribe the medication. He did with no problem. But the meds were 45 dollars a pill. I asked him to prescribe a generic medication. Those were barely effective and were 23 dollars a pill. Migraines are costly. Most of the time, I would opt to bite the bullet, get in a dark room, put ice and compression on my head and face for a couple of hours, which relieved the simplest headaches. The harsher ones would last for two to three days. I can say without a doubt that, though my life was great in all other ways, the migraines leached much joy and happiness from my life. Years ago, I used to trade for a lot of services. I put an advertisement on Craigslist to trade voice lessons for yard work. I got a call from a guitarist who wanted to learn to sing better in exchange to cut my grass weekly. We became buddies. I shared with him about my headaches. I told him that hypnosis was helping. He explained that his wife had a disease called TN, which stands for Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is estimated that 1 in 15,000 people in the US suffer from TN. This disease stems from impeding the blood flow to the trigeminal nerve, which covers the face and goes into the neck and top of the head, behind the eyes and into the cheek bones. Sometimes, this nerve can be literally choked by a blood vessel in the face. This kind of TN actually can be cured. But the result is still phantom fear of the exhausting pain of this disease, which, in most cases, goes above and beyond the pain scale of 1-10 for most diagnosed patients. I thought maybe I was one of those unlucky 15,000 as my migraines were happening at a rate of 3-4 in a week. I went to a neurologist. My diagnosis was simply that I was a migraneur, one who gets migraines frequently. The neurologist’s decided to try treating me with betablockers, which made me feel like I was having a heart attack. After the doctor told me to deal with the symptoms of my heart racing for two weeks, I decided he had no clue that I felt like I was going to crawl right out of my body. I took myself off of the medicine and began to research the problem myself. Jesus says in the Christian bible “Physician, heal thy self!” I have a feeling that the Christ spoke directly to me. I prayed incessantly for direction and help. What possibly could be causing someone who practices yoga daily, eats perfectly healthy food, and has never been more than 10 lbs. overweight my entire life. What the hell could I be doing that is causing these problems? I go back to my grass-cutting friend’s wife who had TN. She actually had an operation to relieve the symptoms of her pain, but was left with an issue called Sensory Defensiveness. You can search my blog at www.findingauthenticyou.com for much more information about Sensory Defensiveness, because I’ve covered it many times. I discovered that this is the disease that I had. I worked at a psychiatric hospital then as a clinical hypnotherapist. During one of the staff meetings, I asked if any of the psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists knew what this disease was. Not one knew. The owner of the practice told me to speak to a neurologist. I think she thought I was making up the disease to appease my own thoughts about my migraines. Almost every diagnosis in a psychiatric environment tends to be looked as imaginary or stemming from some kind of childhood pain. After my intense research, I recognized that my neural pathways in my brain were simply firing too quickly. I also realized that any common stimuli was becoming simply too strong for my body. My brain would try to fight off perfumes, which made my stomach sick; the smell of cigarette smoke, which made me lose my voice; bright lights, which gave me a headache; sitting in front of the computer for more than an hour, which made my neck ache. Even simple touch sometimes would be too harsh. I also noticed that when the weather became overcast, I was, also, way more prone to getting a headache. All of these stimuli, if continued, eventually would cause my body to shut down with a migraine. So, the only thing I could do was try to prevent the obvious problems that caused the migraines, not including weather, of course. Added to that, I also noticed that becoming gluten free helped relieve a great deal of my joint pain and took away toxicity from my body, leaving me with a lot less migraine triggers. Today, I don’t live migraine free, but I have had fewer and fewer migraines every year, do to understanding the simple truth of sensory defensiveness. You can help your problem with headaches, too, by simplifying your life, going gluten free, wearing sunglasses, wearing ankle weights (which disturb the neural pathways triggering headaches), brushing your body with a baby brush when symptoms begin, and rocking your body or your legs when you sit. *** Check out my new book: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior, FREE STARTING TOMORROW on Amazon Kindle at: http://www.amazon.com/Uncommon-Gay-Spiritual-Warrior-Authentic-ebook/dp/B00KPIVOIY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401708367&sr=8-1&keywords=uncommon+gay+spiritual+warrior . I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks. Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task. For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change * Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-445-8861 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

Migraines Are Costly for Everyone
#migraines #Trigeminalneuralgia #headaches #sensorydefensiveness

I got my first migraine about ten years ago. Before that, I had only had one headache, so I didn’t even know it was a migraine. I’m not sure what brought the first one on, but as the years went by, I kept getting them more frequently and more intensely. Eventually, a physician moved into an apartment I was renting, and brought me very expensive samples of a medication called Maxalt that would get rid of the pain in minutes. When he moved out, I tried getting my personal physician to prescribe the medication. He did with no problem. But the meds were 45 dollars a pill. I asked him to prescribe a generic medication. Those were barely effective and were 23 dollars a pill. Migraines are costly. Most of the time, I would opt to bite the bullet, get in a dark room, put ice and compression on my head and face for a couple of hours, which relieved the simplest headaches. The harsher ones would last for two to three days. I can say without a doubt that, though my life was great in all other ways, the migraines leached much joy and happiness from my life.

Years ago, I used to trade for a lot of services. I put an advertisement on Craigslist to trade voice lessons for yard work. I got a call from a guitarist who wanted to learn to sing better in exchange to cut my grass weekly. We became buddies. I shared with him about my headaches. I told him that hypnosis was helping. He explained that his wife had a disease called TN, which stands for Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is estimated that 1 in 15,000 people in the US suffer from TN. This disease stems from impeding the blood flow to the trigeminal nerve, which covers the face and goes into the neck and top of the head, behind the eyes and into the cheek bones. Sometimes, this nerve can be literally choked by a blood vessel in the face. This kind of TN actually can be cured. But the result is still phantom fear of the exhausting pain of this disease, which, in most cases, goes above and beyond the pain scale of 1-10 for most diagnosed patients.

I thought maybe I was one of those unlucky 15,000 as my migraines were happening at a rate of 3-4 in a week. I went to a neurologist. My diagnosis was simply that I was a migraneur, one who gets migraines frequently. The neurologist’s decided to try treating me with betablockers, which made me feel like I was having a heart attack. After the doctor told me to deal with the symptoms of my heart racing for two weeks, I decided he had no clue that I felt like I was going to crawl right out of my body. I took myself off of the medicine and began to research the problem myself.

Jesus says in the Christian bible “Physician, heal thy self!” I have a feeling that the Christ spoke directly to me. I prayed incessantly for direction and help. What possibly could be causing someone who practices yoga daily, eats perfectly healthy food, and has never been more than 10 lbs. overweight my entire life. What the hell could I be doing that is causing these problems?

I go back to my grass-cutting friend’s wife who had TN. She actually had an operation to relieve the symptoms of her pain, but was left with an issue called Sensory Defensiveness. You can search my blog at www.findingauthenticyou.com for much more information about Sensory Defensiveness, because I’ve covered it many times. I discovered that this is the disease that I had.
I worked at a psychiatric hospital then as a clinical hypnotherapist. During one of the staff meetings, I asked if any of the psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists knew what this disease was. Not one knew. The owner of the practice told me to speak to a neurologist. I think she thought I was making up the disease to appease my own thoughts about my migraines. Almost every diagnosis in a psychiatric environment tends to be looked as imaginary or stemming from some kind of childhood pain.

After my intense research, I recognized that my neural pathways in my brain were simply firing too quickly. I also realized that any common stimuli was becoming simply too strong for my body. My brain would try to fight off perfumes, which made my stomach sick; the smell of cigarette smoke, which made me lose my voice; bright lights, which gave me a headache; sitting in front of the computer for more than an hour, which made my neck ache. Even simple touch sometimes would be too harsh. I also noticed that when the weather became overcast, I was, also, way more prone to getting a headache. All of these stimuli, if continued, eventually would cause my body to shut down with a migraine. So, the only thing I could do was try to prevent the obvious problems that caused the migraines, not including weather, of course. Added to that, I also noticed that becoming gluten free helped relieve a great deal of my joint pain and took away toxicity from my body, leaving me with a lot less migraine triggers.

Today, I don’t live migraine free, but I have had fewer and fewer migraines every year, do to understanding the simple truth of sensory defensiveness. You can help your problem with headaches, too, by simplifying your life, going gluten free, wearing sunglasses, wearing ankle weights (which disturb the neural pathways triggering headaches), brushing your body with a baby brush when symptoms begin, and rocking your body or your legs when you sit.

***
Check out my new book: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior, FREE STARTING TOMORROW on Amazon Kindle at: http://www.amazon.com/Uncommon-Gay-Spiritual-Warrior-Authentic-ebook/dp/B00KPIVOIY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401708367&sr=8-1&keywords=uncommon+gay+spiritual+warrior .

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-445-8861 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

Too Busy, Too Loud, Too Bright #sensorydefensive #sensoryoverload

Too Busy, Too Loud, Too Bright
#sensorydefensive #sensoryoverload

An old friend of twenty-two years came to visit this weekend. We met out for a drink at a local video bar. The music was loud, the people wore too much cologne, and the local watering hole was crowded. For someone like me, a sensory defensive man, in a situation such as this, I go on overload in about an hour. Most days, if I just get accosted with a pungent perfume or have to push through a crowd, I’m done for the day. Honestly, one hour at this bar wore me out. I came home and wanted to just crash, with all the lights out and no sound or stimuli.

Sensory Defensiveness is an actual disease that I see very often in my client base go undiagnosed. People who have SD tend to feel like outcasts because they feel different than the rest of the people around them. If you don’t know you have it, you tend to self-medicate. So, many of my addictive-based clients end up having SD. Once they discover that their brain is simply firing too quickly, the issue can be treated without addictive behavior. But, if you don’t know that you or your child have this disorder, you can end up with a very troubled human being.

I had a partner once, who treated me very nicely. We dated for two years, but he ended the relationship because I didn’t enjoyed antiquing, and it was his passion. I wasn’t much into it, but I tried. Interestingly enough, I would get very tired and exhausted after about an hour in an antique store. I would often have to sit down while he browsed. After being diagnosed, I realized that I was simply allergic to the dust and moldy smells of the antique stores, which sent me into sensory overload. When this happens, your body just completely shuts down, mostly to protect you. So, despite my attempt at appeasing this kind person, I failed miserably.

I have always been a sensitive man, even as a child. I hung out with the adults because I didn’t like to get dirty. I stayed in my bedroom and played the piano because it felt safe there. I simply didn’t want to get accosted by people and things that were unfamiliar or harsh to my mind and body. Much of my life, I thought I just didn’t fit it and considered myself some kind of misfit. Of course, I overcompensated, and tried to be just the opposite. But, most times, I would end up on the couch alone at a party, because I just couldn’t stand to be around a lot of people for too long.

A sensory defensive person can feel sensitive to light, to sound, to taste, to smells, and to touch. I remember the first time I was picked for a team for football. The first time someone ran into me and knocked me down, I didn’t think I could get up. I don’t just feel a touch. I sense it in every part of my body.

On the good side of the diagnosis, sensory defensive people make great and passionate lovers because we are so sensitive. But when it comes to being real and honest with us, our hearts are just as sensitive. In my book, Finding Authentic You, I have many discoveries about how to deal with sensory defensiveness.

Finding Authentic You is a self-help guide with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends. 

What Is That Smell? #sensorydefensiveness #adultautism

I’m very sensitive to smell when I’m in crowded places. Sometimes in church or at a mall, I’ll sense ten different colognes and body odors. I feel as though someone has attacked me physically through my olfactory system in those situations. Other times, light can be too bright or too neon for my eyes. I’ll get a headache or a migraine, if I don’t protect my eyes. If I eat something that is slightly amiss from the taste I’m expecting, I assure you, I’m going to send it back to be cooked correctly. Most people would say, I’m simply a pain in the ass to be around. But what I have is actually on the cusp of adult autism called Sensory Defensiveness.

Sometimes I walk into my home and catch a whiff of something putrefying or dank. My senses are like a dog’s, so most people don’t even notice what I smell. I begin to sniff through the house until I uncover the odor. Sometimes, it’s a rotten potato at the bottom of the 10 lb. bag. Sometimes, it’s a dishcloth that soured. Other times, it’s a vegetable in the garbage can that became rotten. Whatever it is, I can’t sleep until I find the culprit and get it out of the house. My Sensory Defensiveness is more about smells than anything else, but yours could be any one of the senses. For instance, I have a friend who can’t listen to something off pitch. The instrument makes her cringe inside as if someone is sliding a diamond across a piece of glass.

If you’re never heard this term, I’m not surprised. I didn’t discover what ailed me until someone handed me the book: Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight, by Sharon Heller, which explains the not-so-rare phenomena. About 10% of us have this disease.

Quite honestly, I breathed a sigh of relief. Just knowing that there is a reason why I go to a bar and want to fall asleep, or scream, or get the feeling of being overly stimulated in crowds and at shopping marts. My neural pathways in my brain fire too quickly, causing this adverse effect in my body. Many ways exist to help calm my mind and slow down the hurling thoughts and impressions when I’m over stimulated.

I can help as a life coach and hypnotist to calm your mind and change your exhausting world to one of peace and strong personal choice! If you have been experiencing this social and environmental anxiety, just pick up the phone and call me for an appointment. I promise, I can help, almost immediately.

_______________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

Smoke Cessation mp3

Weight Loss mp3

Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

Insomnia mp3

Eternal Om mp3

Meditation Music mp3

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Healing the Body mp3

And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

The "Don't Touch Me" Syndrome #sensorydefensiveness

The “Don’t Touch Me” Syndrome #sensorydefensive

I have many clients who say their partners no longer have any interest in sexuality or intimacy. This may be the reason. If you go through times when you feel even a light touch hurts, bright light bothers you, a strong smell will give you a headache, you may be on the outer scale of Adult Autism called Sensory Defensive. I can speak from years of battling those feelings, this is a common disease that not many doctors even know much about. If you have talked to an occupational therapist, almost all of them have heard of, especially in children. I have had some young clients who won’t eat many foods because of the texture or feel in the their mouths. They tend to sequester themselves from people and be the readers in the family. They enjoy being by themselves because it is near no one they feel safest from touch, smell, and even taste.

Most people don’t even consider the possibility that what they feel on this spectrum is worth checking into. They simply chalk up their feelings to getting older, losing interest, or simply sensitivity. However, all of the above can be dealt with and you can actually return to a life of intimacy and closeness with the ones you love.

Sensory Defensiveness is a rather simple disorder. Your neural pathways are just firing too quickly, which increases your sensitivity sometimes about 75% more than most. I recently noticed my sister’s two children’s behavior during a vacation to her home. One is quiet, likes to read, and has a great intolerance for most food. The other child will eat just about anything and he would tackle you night and day if you would let him. The two children are close in age, came from the same mother and father, and actually have had the same stimuli in their lives. Yet, each are completely opposite in disposition. I believe this is as a result of Sensory Defensiveness.

In adults the patterns start to worsen, especially when smells turn to migraines and a repulsion for certain foods could keep you from eating around specific people. You would think it’s just me—I’m peculiar like that. But, honestly, you are not. You simply need a little more attention than most, especially from yourself. You should begin therapy by understanding more about your disease. Read the book by Sharon Heller, “Too Loud, Too Bright…” and see if you fall with the adult autistic spectrum. I was shocked that I did. I finally began to understand why something as simple as a day out shopping or antiquing could level me by midday. I could be out at a bar enjoying myself with friends, and suddenly, I would feel as if the energy drained right out of my feet. I would want to go to sleep immediately. Food would often have to be returned to the kitchen at restaurants. And the most important aspect to understand is protecting yourself from smells and bright lights that could give you five migraines a week.

Where I noticed the most difference is in the intimacy department. Now that I understand my limitations and when I’m feelings particularly sensitive, I actually can be completely honest with the people around me. If I can’t be touched, that is okay for that evening. Typically, this kind of problem happens less and less as your body becomes more secure and less anxious about your surroundings. The more you share with your loved ones your problem, the better you feel about keeping yourself safe, which adds up to being less anxious. Sensory Defensiveness is a real disorder. Discovering you have it and dealing with it can change your life completely.

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For more information, you can book a session with me and we can discuss ways of dealing with your severe sensitivity to almost anything.

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New Challenge: Go to Week 12 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

PTSD, Sensory Defensive and Transparent

PTSD< Sensory Defensive>Transparency

I awoke this morning after a dream about my childhood with an anxious heart. I wanted to jump up from the bed and scream, but I lay still and crawled closer to my partner. He didn’t understand what I was feeling, so he wasn’t able to help me with trauma one experiences who has had a Post Traumatic event in his or her past.

I’m writing this because I realized that after I took my dog for a walk and thought about it, I have been playing the same role of a child with my partner and needed to be transparent about what had happened and how we both could deal with it as adults in the perfect present.

When you have a PTSD moment that is triggered by an action, dream, thought, smell, or event, your heart automatically goes into fear. Depending on the event, you could even show signs of disorientation. For me, this wasn’t a bad event. I was just triggered a bit and felt, for about 30 minutes, that I was back in that sexually abusive environment.

This causes, for some people, a state called Sensory Defensiveness. If you have never heard of this disease, believe me, it’s real. All of your senses get heightened to the point that a touch can feel like a stab wound, a smell can be caustic, and even a kiss can feel like someone you love is smothering you. The result is “Fight of Flight” mode for the physical mind and body. Many studies of PTSD show that this trigger superseded the rational brain. So, no matter what you know about yourself or your past, you still must recognize that a trigger could happen, and have resources in place to talk you down from your fear.

Sensory defensiveness is treated with occupational therapy. Two of the things that are most used in the easing of the defensiveness are weight and light brushing of the skin. The reason why these are used is because the PTSD causes neural pathways to fire fast and erratically. Weight and light brushing causes confusing to the neural pathways and the effect is generally an easing of the symptoms.

So, this morning, had I been transparent with my partner and explained to him ahead of time how to deal with an event like this, this is what it may have looked like:

I awaken with fear. He awakes and notices I’m withdrawn and my heart is racing. I tell him that I have had a bad dream. He asks me what the dream is about. I tell him that the dream was about my childhood. I recognizes that my PTSD came from a childhood event, so must assume that I am triggered. He goes into HELP mode. What he can do is help me to breathe slowly. Maybe even breathe with me for a while, very gently rubbing me with just his finger tips, so soft you may feel like you just touching the hair not the skin. If I have a weighted blanket or pillow or weighted vest, he may reach for that and put it over me. This gives the person the bundled effect that a baby feels when he’s crying in the night.

So, the end result would have been a tender moment of help, instead of a withdrawal and misunderstanding. Because of my work with self-inquiry, I was able to ask myself questions about why I felt the way I did. As a result, I came up with a solution that not only helped me, but also helped my partner understand me a little better and soothe my misbegotten pain.

I hope this helps those of you who suffer from trauma in the past.

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Go to Week 3 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

10 Minutes of Laughter

10 Minutes of Laughter

You’ve heard that laughter is the best medicine, but did you know that one hardy laugh can be just as effective as a pain medication, sustaining pain relief for almost two hours? Of course, this is hard to prove medically, but many people have reported total healing has occurred when watching a series of funny movies and programs and staying positive and out of a depressive state.

This, of course, doesn’t work when you have had your stomach muscles cut, such as with surgeries such as a Caesarean birth and hernia surgeries. In these cases, laughing actually exacerbates healing. When I began recovering from my hernia surgery, I actually had to send my mother home, because she kept trying to make me laugh, which was providing more pain than comfort.

After a few days I invited her back as laughter became a great relief and healing factor. If you go to the Internet for studies about how happiness and positive living provides the necessary environment for a healthy body, you’ll find a myriad of advice and stories of miraculous recovery.

In my own life, I can tell you that the healthier I feel mentally, the better my body feels, almost inevitably. I notice that during days of beautiful sunlight and clear days that my body also feels better and healthier. On the contrary, my sensitivity to the weather makes me have more challenging days when it rains or is considerably overcast. This illness is called SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome). Plenty of my friends have the same reaction to weather as I do, as do many of my Sensory Defensive Clients.

Sensory Defensiveness—the feeling of being overloaded by light, sound, and touch is a difficult disease to shake, because you are affected by people and environment that you can’t change almost every day. For instance, I am waiting for my friend Sharon to have eye surgery. The waiting area has overhead lighting that is annoying and causing a migraine. I had to go to my car for a pair of sunglasses to keep from getting a headache. Even now, I’m having to rest my eyes periodically to keep that feeling of an angry claw clamping down on my head from happening.

Other ways to help SADS and Sensory Defensiveness is to do actions that change the neural pathways firing in the brain or, at least, slow them down. You can wear a weighted vest or ankle weights. This has proven to be one of the best solutions for me. I know it looks a little odd for the weighted vest, but I can usually find a pair of pants that will cover ankle weights, if I have to be in a place such as a bar, theater or department store, where the environment is often frenetic and challenging for me.

Of course, if your problem is bright light, carry a pair of wrap-around sunglasses with you at all times. I’m thanking God right now for the sunglasses I’m wearing now. The headache is subsiding slowly, especially since I am doing a few yoga stretches to my neck and shoulders intermittently as I finish this blog.

Yoga is also a great way to get to know your body. In theory, the yoga movement practice was developed to experience every part of the human anatomy. This experience is actually for a different reason than you may think. The asana or movement portion of yoga was actually practiced to discover every part of God in you. As the scriptures say “that we are made in the image of God,” the yogis believed that discovering God could be helped by challenging the breath of life by creating different breath exercises. Each exercise helps the mind to control that body and the breath, which, in turn, helps you discover more of God.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (Compassion, Love, Enthusiasm And Relationship-Ready) in Early 2014. Thanks!