Fear Thoughts—I Love You, Too!

Fear Thoughts—I Love You, Too!

Our thoughts are like unrelenting, misbehaving children. They rant; they rave, and sometimes they hurt like hell. But they are our thoughts, and we must love and embrace each and every one of them.

When we don’t give compassion to our fearful thoughts, we abandon a big part of ourselves. This is not a good choice for anyone.

Let’s look at a basic fearful thought: “I’m not good enough for….”

If you hear yourself thinking this thought, you shouldn’t simply dismiss it. You also shouldn’t believe it, just because it played out in your head. This thought may be something that has been fed to you over the years and is now replaying on autopilot.

Many of our thoughts are triggered by situations. The thought becomes a rerun of many old beliefs that may or may not be true in the present. Your brain is an amalgam of many neuro pathways that have been recorded and set to replay with spontaneity when certain stimuli occurs in your life.

Then are we really what our thoughts say we are?

Your thoughts are like stored documents on a computer. If you click on the right button or icon (this is the stimuli), the words or the pictures in the document appear (the negative thought).

Is the computer responsible for the document being there? Or is the person who input the document responsible? In this case, the person responsible could be anyone from a parent to a teacher to a guardian to a lover. The person inputting the information, if he or she has enough influence on the mind of the person or child, can cause a permanent wiring of thoughts connected to a situational response. If the response it traumatic it is called PTSD—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, if you hear a thought in your mind that does not mirror who you are, you shouldn’t just dismiss it. You should listen to it, be compassionate to it, discover its genesis, and create a new neuro pathway that contradicts it.

So, if in our example it is a thought that says, “You’re not good enough.” You might realize that your father never thought that you could be a football player as he was. He fed you steroids. Made you lift weights six days a week. Made you drink weightgaining powders. Through footballs at you until you wanted to throw them back directly at his face.

Yet, you never were able to live up to his image. You may have wanted to emulate your father at the time, but now you realize that what you want to be is a singer. You’re good at singing. You’ve been studying vocally for three years, and you’re ready to make a career of it. But the only thing you hear in your mind is your dad’s voice saying, “You’re not good enough!”

In this case, if it were me, I would get alone with myself and my thoughts. I would feel the impact of the negativity. I would realize who started the thought and why.

Then I would begin to encourage myself with words such as, “Bo, you never even liked football. You’ve always wanted to be a singer. The last three times you sang in public, you got a standing ovation. You are clearly better at singing than you ever were at football.

“Not because you didn’t try, but because you’re heart is now in it and your heart never was in playing football. The thoughts that you are hearing are your father’s. Dad is dead now. The only person who keeps him and his negative thoughts alive is you right now. Prove to yourself that his negative input doesn’t matter to you by pursuing your authentic dreams. You owe this to yourself, Bo!”

The conversation sounds a little sappy. But, honestly, a compassionate, parental self is actually speaking to the young part inside of you. When you reach this part of you, you will realize your worth. You will also realize that you were not the author of every thought you entertained. With this new power, you begin to heal almost immediately.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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