Created
to Move Forward
Every
morning I turn on my car, press my foot to the gas, and back out of my
driveway. Driving in reverse doesn’t feel natural. I have to contort my neck. I
don’t fasten my seatbelt, because I can’t twist around all fastened in my seat.
I don’t feel completely safe until I am out of reverse and actually moving
forward. Forward movement and impetus is our natural state. So, why exactly do
we spend so much time looking at, assessing, and regretting our past?
A wise
person said, “It is not how many times you fall down that counts; it’s how many
times you get up!”
My
life is full of failures. If I spent more time dwelling on the past than the
present, I would be in a deep depression all day, every day. The past is just
that; it is over. Completed. The only thing left to do with it is learn from it
and press forward.
I
think of a time in my life when everything was about getting over my childhood.
It was as if an entire three years in therapy kept me in limbo. I lived and
breathed my pain and my sorrow to try and unhook from it. I guess that I have
to agree with my therapist at the time. If I didn’t take a good hard look at
what was causing my sadness, I could never get over it. Moving forward meant
for me—for a time—looking into the past and taking my power back from those I
thought had stolen it.
In
that sense the three years was totally worth it. The reason, though, was
because the entire intention of the therapy was to help me move forward, not
backward. If all you do is dwell in the past and never get out of it, there is
no sense in reliving it. You’ll stay in one place or constantly find yourself
in regret and remorse.
Clients
come to me all the time with deep regret, wishing they could wash away parts of
their lives completely. I say to them, what I’ll say to you: “Make laws against
regrets. All things happen in your life for the good.”
We
have to believe that, otherwise, life will never make sense. I believe that
every break up, every missed mark, every slap in the face, every wrong business
decision and every sickness has challenged me to the point of making effective
change. Had the bad things not happened, I would have never been aware that
something was lacking, or something was amiss in me. The challenges of life
moved me forward. No question in my mind exists about that one thing!
When
you face your life head on, there is nothing to do but move forward, especially
if you believe that our human existence is about learning lessons and gaining
perspective. Each time we let go of more of the past and more of the burden of
the past, we free ourselves to unfold like a butterfly from a cocoon of regret.
We have always had the wings, but have never challenged ourselves to break out
of the past and fly.
Don’t
you think it’s time?
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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