How Many Dates
Does a Relationship Make?
#relationshipadvice #dating #relationship
#relationshipadvice #dating #relationship
Most of us grew
up with the idea that our lives should include a loving, intimate relationship
or family to be complete and whole. For some, that simply means friends with
benefits. For others that means extended families acting as surrogates for
family. But, for most of the world, relationship means families and children
and special homes connected to this dream of special love.
For me, I just
wanted that one person to love me ‘til death do us part. The home and maybe the
children would come later. However, finding that person has been a crapshoot in
the dark—without dice. I have given much advice on finding the right person in
relationship, but every word of every book about relationship should be
rewritten to include this last piece of advice: Everything can be right in a
relationship. You can love each other, respect each other, and want to grow
together. But if two people are not on the same page (same state and city,
place in spiritual growth, politically compatible, and even want to watch some
of the same television shows), relationship may not work.
I have felt that
absolutely everything was right in a relationship, and the next day someone
broke up with me. I have felt in the past that I was being treated with respect
and with special romance, when my partner was shacking up with someone else.
People lie, cheat, and basically do what they want to keep their own sex lives
and egos bolstered. They may even go undercover with special screen names and
hunt the unexpected tryst on days you are away on business or completely busy. I
had a friend who had a former lover invite scores of men to his home right
after he would leave for work every day. This happened for five years before my
friend found out about it. To this day, my friend feels as if this was his
greatest love. “Love,” I say to him. “How in the hell could you have considered
what you and he had as love? He cheated and lied for five years! How is that
love?”
Perhaps, my
opinion of love and my expectation of love needs to come down to a human level.
I thought that the least I could expect of love was monogamy, trust, openness
to relating in an intimate way, and respect. But, apparently, after dealing
with so many dysfunctional relationships in my Life Coaching Business, I can
really depend on relationship to be one thing: a changing organism that may
turn into a monster unexpectedly at any moment or may be your securest base for
intimacy.
So, let’s get
real about your relationship. Are you happy in yours? If you aren’t, then why
are you staying? Has it become too comfortable to leave? Are you too afraid
that you want too much out of a relationship and will never get what you desire
if you venture forth toward another? Are you afraid that it’s too late for new
love for you because of age? Do you have less self-esteem than you have desire
to change?
All of these
answers are viable and reasonable. Except, aren’t we worth more than half of
anything? I don’t want to have to give up the most important aspects of what I
believe relationship could be. Do you?
In my new book Finding
Authentic You I help you uncover the most distinct you, unlock all of
your negative thinking, and help you replace it with positive, creative thought.
Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with
friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who
value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download
version.
For much more
information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being
your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below.
“Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The
book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well
as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being
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Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change
* Bo Sebastian is a
Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to
QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR
MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel
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