Oscar Pistorius:
Looking Back at Your Deeds
#pistorius #regret #relationshipadvice #divorce #oscarpistorius #reevasteenkamp
#pistorius #regret #relationshipadvice #divorce #oscarpistorius #reevasteenkamp
For much of the
world, we look in horror at the allegations that Oscar Pistorius shot and
killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Can you imagine how the 27-year-old
track star felt yesterday when cross-examination began, and he was all but
forced to look at the aftermath photographs of the murder by prosecutor, Gerrie
Nel?
Most of us would
do well to just forget the past and move on. But, every day, since this trial
began, and I would assume moments after the shooting, Oscar Pistorius has had
to face his actions, not only personally, but with the entire world watching. I
wonder how I would fare in a situation such as this, or one like President Bill
Clinton’s debacle with Monica Lewinski.
I’m a very
emotional person. If I had done something as heinous as shoot someone I love by
mistake, when I talked about it later, I’m sure I’d be squalling all over the
place. But, trial experts say that Mr. Pistorius’s emotional outbursts worked
against him.
I remember the
trial of the Australian woman who was accused of killing her baby when a dingo
actually stole and killed her infant. In the 1988 movie “A Cry in the Dark,” Meryl
Streep provided us with an excellent foray into this woman’s mind while she was
on trial. The accused mother, thought to be in a cult that sacrificed children,
was numb and devastated and in grave pain, so much so that no matter what
emotion she showed, the public seemed to want her to be killed in the electric
chair.
For this reason
and reasons why never get to see, like questionable resources that can’t be
used in court and information actually suppressed by prosecutors because of
illegal ramifications, makes me want to stand back and let the courts and
judges and the jury of his peers do the dirty business of judgment. Judging is one
of the actions in life I enjoy the least. Most of the time, before I judge
someone, I look at all the things I have done that could cause myself to appear
guilty in the eyes others. Trust me, there are plenty
Last night, while
I was having a drink at a bar, an old friend came up to me and asked me how I
was. I told him this month had been rough. My mother was hospitalized. My
live-in boyfriend moved out and broke up with me. And my best friend moved to
Thailand. This all happened in two weeks. I was a little surprised when he
didn’t much seem sympathetic nor compassionate. Later in the conversation he
said something sarcastic about me going through a lot of “partners.”
I asked him how
many people he thought I had been with in the last 8 years. He jokingly said,
“Eight?”
Of course, this
was completely untrue. I only see this friend and talk to him maybe once or
twice a year. Most of the time the person I’m dating had not been with me. So,
his information about me was skewed by his ideations of me being a player, no
doubt. The truthful answer was 3, and I had broken up with none of them. I was
the one broken-hearted and grieving, when my old friend apparently was accusing
me of going through many men.
This kind of
interaction can get the most cavalier person thinking about his personal
persona. What are we actually conveying to those around us and how do we allow
our authentic self out, without being tried and convicted of something we never
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