Win Back What You Lost

Win Back What You Lost

I had a woman friend who had lost everything—her business, her marriage, got kicked out of her church, lost some dear friends, and lost so much vital energy to live—to be the authentic woman she was intended to be. She had been lying to the world, her church, her friends, her family, and parents about her lifestyle. And as a result of coming clean to them, she had had to sacrifice most of her old life. Even people who loved her dearly, dismissed her because of being gay.

Does that mean that she should want her old life back? Or was everything in her life conspiring to put away the past and begin anew with everything fresh and real?

I am very compassionate to this situation. I don’t, for a moment, believe this is a laughing matter or even a matter to discuss without permission. However, when someone like me and this woman friend are denied access to our lives as a result of being exactly who we were created to be, it becomes a matter of standing up and being counted—looking down at the gun barrel courageously and asking the pertinent questions to an unforgiving world.

The woman was kicked out of her church after a woman co-pastor had taken her on retreat and come on to her sexually. After my friend denied the pastor, she was brought before the board and kicked out for being gay. No one on the board believed her claims. She simply stepped out of the spot light and into a dramatic funk!

Incidences like this happen all the time. Married men who step out on their wives with other men in private, often come down the hardest on gay men and women. Remember what happened when Jimmy Swaggart preached so harshly about sexual sin, and he was the one hiring prostitutes?

People who are downtrodden because of race and sexuality have to make a public display of self-righteous immorality to make a stand to regain their power. However, showing that bias exists, doesn’t bring back your God-given desire and will to live. The will to live, my friend, must come with loving yourself for exactly who you are. Also, you must accept yourself in this moment, right now, for the person you are authentically.

I have journals of self-flagellating letters written to myself for my perceived sin to humanity and God. I can write volumes on how hard it is to love yourself when you believe that God hates you for living a life against His will. I also, can’t tell you how many times in my prayers and meditations during that time, I heard a still small voice beg me to release from condemning myself. I heard God say over and over again that I was made of love and was loving—that there was no judgment coming from the heavens—only the people on earth.

I just never believed what I was hearing was coming from God. Because I believed the words of preachers and bible-thumpers wholeheartedly, I wouldn’t even listen to the voice of God comforting my hurt and hardened soul.

We can’t undo what has happened to us in the past for our self-denial or distrust of those who loved us with stipulations, but we can take steps now to reach deep into our hearts and live the most authentic life we can muster. Then, it is up to the world to accept or reject us. We have no power over hypocrisy. We can only continue to show up unabashed and unashamed for whom we are.

I just assume that if I’m rejected by a friend or family member, that this is just one way that God tells me I’m in the wrong place, hanging with the wrong person. Trust me, I tell there are plenty of loving and accepting people in this world. If you look hard enough, you will find them ready and willing to love you for exactly the person you are.

Keep your head up. I know God love you as much and more than I do—no matter what your situation.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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