Cath Labs, Cute ER Doctors, & Compassionate Pain
#relationshipadvice #compassion #falsealarm #sympatheticpain #heartattacks
#relationshipadvice #compassion #falsealarm #sympatheticpain #heartattacks
Three years ago, my mother had been complaining
about pain in her arm, she felt dizzy most days, and her energy level had been depleting
on a consistent basis. Of course, I booked an immediate doctor’s appointment
and got her checked out. At first, her problem appeared to be her carotid
artery. So, no emergency there. But,
when she had a heart work-up, it appeared she needed a stent or two, because
she had blockages in a couple of her arteries, and stents are small mesh tubes
that are used to treat narrow or weak arteries, which move blood from the heart.
As I scheduled the appointment, went diligently through
the motions of getting to the hospital catheterization lab, early in the
morning, for all the tests that would prepare her for the stent operation; I,
then, went through the grueling process of waiting. My oldest sister, my mom’s
best friend and I were at the helm, getting coffees, taking rotations to the
bathroom, and to the cafeteria. Three hours later, the family was called to the
hallway to have a meeting with Mom’s heart specialist. He told us that Mom’s
blockage was way to bad for a stent, and she had to have an emergency triple
bypass. Only one of us would get to talk with her before she was given
anesthesia. I was chosen.
When a parent, close relative, child, or friend is
in a life-threatening situation, the worst goes through your mind. I wondered
if my mother would make it out of this operation alive. Had I been a compassionate son? What was the last thing I had said to
her, when she complained over and over about the same aches and pains? Did I
make it to the batter’s plate, time and time again, when God called me to be a
good son? Many pertinent questions filled my mind as I wandered the winding
halls of the basement laboratories to find my mother in a tiny, curtain-drawn
cube, alone and scared.
I couldn’t grab her fast enough and hold her
tightly, while we both cried. She was in shock. Though I, also, was in shock, I
told her she would be fine and that I would be the last face she would see
before the operation and the first she would see afterward. My mom and I have a
very close bond, albeit somewhat codependent relationship. No one in the world
loves me more and is prouder of me than her. I can count on that love daily.
So, losing her would be a heartbreak, for sure.
Hours past before we heard that she was okay and
in recovery. All who were close, spent the next few days taking turns in the
hospital, making sure she never had to make a decision alone after what she had
gone through. When she returned home, she recovered quickly. In fact, I’ had
never seen anyone go through bypass surgery with such ease. She was on a
treadmill the day after the operation and out of the hospital door in two more
days. When I had to give her a shower, her scar frightened me more than leaving
her alone to wash the places of her body I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to reach.
Two days after her return home, I began to have
pains in my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath. Suddenly, I was afraid I was
having the very same heart problems my mother had just had. Of course, I told
no one—especially her. I simply went to an emergency doctor’s appointment and
got my sister to take care of my mom. After ten minutes in the doctor’s office
and an echo cardio test of my heart, the physician announced, “Don’t be
frightened, but I think you’re having a heart attack! A gurney will be here in
two minutes and you’ll be wheeled to the emergency room for more tests. Thanks
for visiting us!”
After eight long hours on a hard bed, back and forth
to the Cath lab, tons of cute doctors and nurses checking me out, and me
checking them out, I was diagnosed with GAS! You heard it right. Twenty
thousand dollars later, I had gas. Since I hadn’t eaten in eight hours, I
didn’t even have gas anymore. What I did have was frustration, anger, and a
very hungry stomach, and possibly, some relief.
So, what did I learn from this situation? Sometimes,
when you are so compassionate to someone whom you love, dealing with a
stressful situation, or not taking care of yourself because of the
aforementioned, you can end up having sympathetic pains, compassionate heart
attack symptoms, and, you guessed it—gas!
***
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