Reality Check: On Death and Dying
#death #grievingloss #loss #dying
#death #grievingloss #loss #dying
One of my favorite quotes is from a book called, What Happy People Know by Dan Baker.
“Every moment that’s ever been, or ever will be, is gone the instant it’s
begun. So life is loss. And the
secret of happiness is to learn to love the moment more than you mourn the
loss.” Notice Dr. Baker doesn’t say, “But
the secret of happiness...” He says, “And the secret of happiness is...”
Dr. Baker knows, with certainty, that death for
anyone or anything (relationships, work, friendships) is eminent, because life
changes in an instant, and every relationship is on a trajectory toward death.
So, someone has to die in a relationship eventually. You must retire. Someone
must move away. Our deepest love falls apart. This is reality; it’s not
pessimism. When you truly get this truth, your entire life will change.
Life begins
when you accept that death is eminent, because you immediately realize the gift
you have been given in each relationship (even your relationship to work or a
hobby). Conversely, with this realization, you may decide that a certain relationship
or friendship or work situation is taking too much of your energy and isn’t
worth holding on to. Either way, when you realize you have only a certain
amount of time on earth, you lose fear and become bolder in your choices. You
stand up for what you believe. You recognize the gifts that are directly in
front of you. In other words, you take hold of your power IN THE NOW!
Personally, this fact has been clearly hitting me in
my face this past month as I prepare to move forward to a new home in a
different state. Friendships I thought were dead have found life. Friendships I
wish were dead have found renewed vengeance. I have learned that the only thing
that has the capacity to change is my point of view about all of it. In the
face of a friend trying to ruin a poignant dinner with buddies because she
doesn’t think she should move on from the past, has only cleared away the dross
for those who want to stay true friends. Clients who left my life because they
were afraid of change must learn to deal with their own losses without me. The
new relationships with my sisters and mother must change, as Mom learns to lean
on her daughters instead of always looking to me to be a life raft.
I get it! Life is—and always has been—about change!
It is inevitable and imminent. We grieve our losses, because they are reality,
and parents pass away eventually. But, the gift in this harsh reality is that
Spirit is always making room for something new and wonderful.
Are you ready to accept this truth and live in the
Now? This should be the question we ask ourselves everyday to stay completely
present.
***
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This novel exemplifies what I have described in a poignant story about facing life's changes as an aging adult. It is one of my favorites. I hope it becomes one of yours.
[Chosen to
show his new hypno-therapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and
also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and
Given the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian, the writer and
director ofFinding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior, helps people such as you,
make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach
YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Challenge yourself with one of his 13
books, healing CDs (weight loss, meditation, smoke cessation and more) or his
Yoga DVD on Amazon or Amazon/Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]
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