Being Unafraid of Loss

As I had spent a great deal of my professional time helping overweight people while I lived in Nashville, the number one issue for weight gain is holding in what you really feel. When your family members coerce you to do favors and bail them out of trouble, when your boss “depends” on only you to get all the extra work done, and when your partner chooses you to vent his anger, this is not a good time to begin shouldering everyone’s burdens. Trust me, you can live through the loss of a codependent friend or partner, but you can’t undo a heart attack from eating yourself into 150 extra pounds.

So much of my life, I have acted and responded in ways that would prevent loss in my life. If a friend treated me unfairly, I would consider how I responded, instead of being authentic or angry. The bottom line was that I was fearful of impending loss. At this present point in my life, I would rather lose what isn’t good or right and be open for what is right, than hold my tongue and be the perfect and steadfast friend who accepts all bullshit. I think the time of being a dumping ground for crap should be over for all of us.

I feel that moving to a new place with new chances at different choices is a great way for me to exercise this part of my decision-making process. I understand when a person married for twenty years comes to me overweight and upset because she had consumed 100% of her family’s problems—physically and mentally. She would have a much more difficult time of undoing and untying from her relationships than I may have severing ties with people I’ve only known for a couple of months. But sever you may have to do, or build some great boundaries that protect you long enough for you to regain your strength, stop stuffing down your problems with food, and take the power you need to heal yourself.

This power I refer to is a God-given right. It’s not something that you garner or gain. It’s a birthright you simply accept. When you do accept it, your entire world changes. Suddenly, you realize that your old paradigm of thought (I can be rejected, I live in loss, I will be alone) can no longer be the foundation of your life. It has never helped you. Perhaps, the relationships you have invested in your entire life have depleted you, instead of affording the right of a steady return.

Only one Power exists that is worth investing in and that is God. This power is the foundation of all and made purely and growing constantly with love. When you get in this flow, you also prosper and gain right relationship, because spirit sees what you can’t. The gift to you is that you trade in your ego understanding of relationship for the omniscient present of Spirit. When you allow yourself to be led and open to the guidance of this loving power, you will have all the strength you need to create a perfect NOW. This is your New Year’s resolution. This is the magnificence you have been longing for your entire life.

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

Reality Check: On Death and Dying #death #grievingloss #loss #dying

Reality Check: On Death and Dying
#death #grievingloss #loss #dying

One of my favorite quotes is from a book called, What Happy People Know by Dan Baker. “Every moment that’s ever been, or ever will be, is gone the instant it’s begun. So life is loss. And the secret of happiness is to learn to love the moment more than you mourn the loss.” Notice Dr. Baker doesn’t say, “But the secret of happiness...” He says, “And the secret of happiness is...”

Dr. Baker knows, with certainty, that death for anyone or anything (relationships, work, friendships) is eminent, because life changes in an instant, and every relationship is on a trajectory toward death. So, someone has to die in a relationship eventually. You must retire. Someone must move away. Our deepest love falls apart. This is reality; it’s not pessimism. When you truly get this truth, your entire life will change.

Life begins when you accept that death is eminent, because you immediately realize the gift you have been given in each relationship (even your relationship to work or a hobby). Conversely, with this realization, you may decide that a certain relationship or friendship or work situation is taking too much of your energy and isn’t worth holding on to. Either way, when you realize you have only a certain amount of time on earth, you lose fear and become bolder in your choices. You stand up for what you believe. You recognize the gifts that are directly in front of you. In other words, you take hold of your power IN THE NOW!

Personally, this fact has been clearly hitting me in my face this past month as I prepare to move forward to a new home in a different state. Friendships I thought were dead have found life. Friendships I wish were dead have found renewed vengeance. I have learned that the only thing that has the capacity to change is my point of view about all of it. In the face of a friend trying to ruin a poignant dinner with buddies because she doesn’t think she should move on from the past, has only cleared away the dross for those who want to stay true friends. Clients who left my life because they were afraid of change must learn to deal with their own losses without me. The new relationships with my sisters and mother must change, as Mom learns to lean on her daughters instead of always looking to me to be a life raft.

I get it! Life is—and always has been—about change! It is inevitable and imminent. We grieve our losses, because they are reality, and parents pass away eventually. But, the gift in this harsh reality is that Spirit is always making room for something new and wonderful.

Are you ready to accept this truth and live in the Now? This should be the question we ask ourselves everyday to stay completely present.

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If you enjoyed what you read, please LIKE my blog or email it to a friend, so that we can spread the good news of “Finding Authentic You!”

This novel exemplifies what I have described in a poignant story about facing life's changes as an aging adult. It is one of my favorites. I hope it becomes one of yours.

[Chosen to show his new hypno-therapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and Given the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian, the writer and director ofFinding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior, helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Challenge yourself with one of his 13 books, healing CDs (weight loss, meditation, smoke cessation and more) or his Yoga DVD on Amazon or Amazon/Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]

Sewing on a New Button #endings #memorialday #divorce #death

Sewing on a New Button
#endings #memorialday #divorce #death

As I proceed to a new day, remembering the people who have passed, I still think of my friend, Michael’s, words: Endings comes in ways we can’t arrange.” Endings are like a button that falls off for no reason. One day, after the shirt hangs in your closet for a while, with no button, you decide to take it out, remembering how much you enjoyed wearing it. You choose to sew a new button on, so that you can wear it again. I believe that the memory of the past has to be like this metaphor. We have to be able to see the good in the past to fully be able to wear it proudly again. And the button you choose to sew on is likened to a new, positive outlook added to that memory.
I have a friend Linda who has been gone from my life for four years from very fatal colon cancer. I say have, because I don’t see her as gone from my life. I’ll explain later in this blog. She and I were connected at the hip for our entire friendship. She understood me like few people do. She was unlike anyone I knew. She was a lawyer, a very deductive and precise thinker. But, she had a spiritual outlook that often tipped me off of my stationary scales of ideas and beliefs. I like the quality in a friend who makes you reconsider what you believe daily, not in a contentious way, but a loving compassionate way.

I remember when she moved away to Colorado Springs, because she couldn’t overcome any sickness—at that time, she didn’t realize it was probably the beginning of the cancer. She called me one day completely excited. “I have the best idea,” she said. “There is a writer’s conference in Colorado Springs, a couple blocks from where I live. It is one of the best in the world. You could go to the conference with me, and we can have fun for a week!”

This was a great idea. I had been a fledgling writer, didn’t have 13 books published as I do now, and enjoyed going to writers’ conferences once or twice a year to boost my ego and meet agents and publishers. So, I went to the conference in the spring of 2000. At that conference, I was chosen to read a short story in a workshop that would be facilitated by the publisher that acquired my first two books. So, I know for certain that Linda’s life helped me in more ways than either of us knew, at that time. She did get to see the first book published, before she died. For that, I was very thankful to God.

I say that she is still a friend, because one evening after she passed into the ethers, she appeared to me as in a dream. She had bought me a small silver bell for Christmas one year. As we talked, she asked me to ring the silver bell whenever I wanted to talk with her. In that moment, I thought, I have no idea where I put that bell.

In fact, I hadn’t seen the bell since I moved into my new home two years prior to that. However, when I awoke the next morning, the bell was on my nightstand, as if it were there the entire time. I was astonished and, also, relieved that Linda would still be with me throughout my life and into eternity as an angel. I do believe in angels and spirits helping us and showing us truth from above and beyond.
I now believe that everyone I know who has gone on before me into the heavenly realm has the possibility of being an angel from the other side. For that, this Memorial Day becomes a time for me to rejoice in the spiritual realm for all those who have moved forward before me into their spiritual growth outside the human body. Now, they can be angels from the other side, knowing us in ways no other spirits could. For that, I give thanks on this Memorial Day.

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I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

Dealing with the Scary Loss of Friends, Partners, and Finances! #loss #finance #death

Dealing with the Scary Loss of Friends, Partners, and Finances!

In the past few weeks I have watched my best friend leave the states to move to Thailand, watched my mother face a risky carotid artery blockage, had my live-in partner break up with me on Valentine’s day, and retired 1/3 of my financial income last September when I stopped teaching vocal lessons. Still, I find myself standing quietly in the present, holding on to limitless hope! I have pondered what the difference is for me, compared to many of my clients grieving greatly over losses of just one aspect of their lives.

A recent study of addicts showed that the likelihood of recovery reduces by 80% without a spiritual conviction of any kind. I, personally, believe this study could be seen concerning healing your life in any way. When enable ourselves to let go of the pressure of self-reliance, we release from the toxic anxiety that comes with stress. This allows the body and mind to recover quicker.

Another aspect to healing from loss is the need for hope. What greater picture of hope can you receive than when you expect a greater good to be with you on a spiritual plane? I am certain as that fateful day I had a dream in NYC that a plane crashed into a building marked 666. That was one year before 9-11. At that time I had the dream, my partner worked in an adjacent building and often found himself at meetings in the Trade Center. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have had a spiritual experience. But trust me, if you are open to one, they are everywhere—in dreams, in metaphors of life, in nature, and in synchronistic experiences.

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TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

Introduction to Meditation

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And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!