How Can You
Believe that I Forgive You, If You Don’t Forgive Yourself?
Yesterday in yoga class, I
introduced a few of my helpers in the front row. Alas, I forgot the name of one
of my oldest yogis, who was also in my yoga DVD “Boga Fitness.”
I immediately tormented myself with
thoughts like “I hope she will forgive me,” “I’m so bad with names,” “the rest
of the class must think I’m an idiot.”
About two minutes into the barrage
of mental vomit, I realized that I was actually beating myself up in the middle
of trying to teach people to be at peace with themselves and with God. My
initial thought was: How can I believe that God forgives me, if I can’t even
forgive myself of something so miniscule?
What Actions Do You Take to Forgive
Yourself:
I have struggled my entire life to
be the best person, best friend, and best worker so that I would never be in
the position to need forgiveness. The problem is that we are not perfect. We
make mistakes that hurt others. So, forgiving yourself can be contingent upon
how quickly you come to the table with an authentic apology and the realization
of your own imperfection as a human being.
Yesterday, I was able to
immediately say to Suzie that I was sorry for forgetting her name. I also
explained to the class that she had been an integral part of my yoga DVD.
How Does it Feel to Forgive
Yourself?
This was where I got stuck. Once I
asked for forgiveness from my client, and she seemed kind enough to give it, I
didn’t allow the feeling to stick to my soul. I condemned myself again, instead
of releasing the bad residual effects.
My counter to the self-sabotage was
to imagine that God’s abounding love was all around me, entering my body
through the frontal cortex of my brain, at my forehead. I considered rationally
that God’s sacrifice of Jesus was more than enough for the forgiveness of my small
mistake. I imagined an overwhelming presence of love dissolving the condemning
thoughts and washing away the feeling of condemnation. I allowed a lightness to
happen in my heart and body.
Confession
Confessing our misdeed of any kind
is the hardest for all of us, especially if you lean to perfectionism or
narcissism or co-narcissism. I actually confessed to my class what was going on
in my brain. I told them what had felt after forgetting her name and the
thoughts that accompanied that mistake. I showed my class that teacher can
struggle, which was important for them to hear. It also took me off any kind of
a pedestal they may have unintentionally put me on.
Then I asked them to go with me to
a place of complete forgiveness in meditation. We all went together on the
pathway toward the light and true, authentic forgiveness. I asked each person
to define a time in life when he/she felt a sense of not being able to forgive
him/herself.
This communal effort was the
perfect key to stop the rest of the struggle in my own soul, as we all reached forward
into God’s perfect forgiveness together.
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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