As the Eldest—“As One of Your Servants-Part II” #addiction #prodigalson #forgiveness #whatstrending #hittingbottom #spiritualliving

Yesterday, we talked about the story of the Prodigal son, but I told the story as a modern-day one with the eldest child as a daughter, who stayed at home and worked for her wealthy, single mother at their burgeoning business; while the youngest, bisexual son ran off to squander his million on the world’s finest everything. The daughter comes home, one evening, from working late, to find that her mother is having a huge party for her long-lost brother, who had returned after three years with absolutely no communication.

The question for today was: What would you be thinking if you were the daughter?

Self-righteousness sneaks up on us without our knowledge of it existing, which makes it even harder to spot. If I were the daughter, I would feel absolutely correct in being angry at her mother for celebrating her irresponsible brother’s return with a huge party. The correct response for the mother would be to chastise the son and keep him from lavishness. Right? After all, the daughter had been beside her mother, wiping her tears, when years had gone by with no signs of her brother even being alive. Now this?

So, the first question I have to ask myself, if I were the sister would be a compassionate one, one that most of us, at this point, would completely forget about: What does my mother feel? Do I know how it would feel to be a mother who had lost her son to addiction or death? If so, how would I react?

You see, the reason why most people become self-righteous is because they have put aside their own wants and desire and are secretly jealous of those who make their dreams come true, even at the expense of others. To be compassionate of her mother’s feelings, would balance her own anger at her brother, almost immediately.

The daughter has a right to feel angry, but not vengeful. She also has a spiritual need to ask herself the important question: What am I missing here, and how do I get my feelings out of the way to learn a spiritual lesson? When the sister is able to ask those questions, perhaps, she will understand her mother’s point of view. She, still, may not like what she has to learn, but she will have balance in her mind and not keep resentment in her heart.

I had an experience, long ago, when I was a Pentecostal minister living in New York at the age of twenty-three. I used to (I know it’s a stretch to believe this) preach against homosexuality on the streets. Yes, I was one of those people who didn’t understand everyone’s right to his own belief, and I walked in self-righteousness almost daily. So, I understand this predicament.

One day, an old friend, actually a high-school friend, came to visit me in New York in the midst of my self-righteousness. When we were 16-17 years old, we had our first homosexual affair together. I still loved him from the bottom of my heart, but resisted all of those feelings. At this point in my friend’s life, he was completely okay with his homosexual lifestyle, while I was still hiding behind my own self-righteous, religious behavior.

I, however, was able to ask the important question of Spirit and of myself: Why am I so angry at Jim?

When I realized that I was jealous of him for being okay with his lifestyle, I knew I had to change my own point of view about life and about religion. My jealousy was causing me to create a larger barrier between my self-righteous life and the people I wanted to minister to. It was in that moment, I decided to release my ministerial position to find myself and my own ideas of religion. To simply accept what others had taught me about God would never be the correct choice for me, personally. I had to discover my own relationship with Spirit organically. And, that I did.

Tomorrow, I would like to discuss the position of the mother in the story!

Today's featured book is “Finding Authentic You.” It's a book birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Pleasantview #releasingthepast #forgiveness

When I was a teenager, I lived close to a housing project named Pleasantview. Kids played in the streets. Pregnant teens smoked on their front stoops with plastic flowers in old glass mayonnaise jars. Sounds of couples battling wafted through the air, as doors were left hanging from one hinge. The place was anything but pleasant, nor was its view.

My single mother rented a home near Pleasantview, as my sister and her two children, with welfare checks and food stamps moved into Pleasantview. I remember many days driving down the road toward my sister’s new digs, thinking, when did I become an impoverished child with a single mom, welfare sisters, and a brother who spent half of his teenage years and early twenties in jail? Life wasn’t supposed to look like this, and I knew it.

Even as a youth who lived through trauma, I knew something, somewhere had to be better than what I experienced in that moment. This one simple thought (somewhere has to be better than this)… this dream (something can release me from the chains of where I am)… lit the flame to keep me getting straights A’s, scholarship bound to college, and ignited a flame under my ass to live a life that had worth, damn it!

I dreamed last night that, as I walked my dog, he found something that disturbed him greatly hiding beneath a bush on the path. As I looked down, he had uncovered a dead dog. This version of Coco that was dead, was definitely the puppy I once knew as “my little boy.”

Coco fell off of the bed once. I think he was dreaming of something horrible at the same time, because he screamed. I had never heard a dog scream before. I was horrified. In my dream, Coco made that same screaming sound.

Dreams have an amazing way of bringing to light what you need to unravel in this moment. My dream brought up my childhood and my need to let it go completely and forgive whomever I need to forgive for putting me through that hell. I have a vice grip on my past, I know. I thought that I had let go and forgiven those who wronged me, but I guess there are more steps to healing now. So, I must, once again, venture into what Spirit reveals about letting go of the past, my youth, and those who were responsible for shaping it.

I do, however, notice that as I let go Pleasantview becomes a great deal nicer. I realize that as I looked back I had forgotten the faces of the beautiful, innocent children; the patient puppies and kitties sitting on the windowsills; and the strange paradox that we call Spirit working in and through all people everywhere for the good.

 

Please check out my new book: “Learning Alone: The Love Song of the Anxiously Attached,”  (Click the link to buy the book) a look at life through relationship, particularly anxious attachment, and finding the courage to face life without a special love!

Also, A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

And I'm Thinking About Forgiveness

I came upon a lesson about forgiveness. It stood in front of me like a brick wall. I couldn’t get to my life unless I chipped away at the lesson to make room for the light and space that couldn’t get passed. I tried to avoid it. I tried to deliberate it without changing it. I adjusted it to slip past it temporarily. But, day after day, unforgiveness stood in my way and blocked all the perfect and compassionate ways of love that could be blessing my soul.

So, I realized that “forgiveness is for me today, to give forth a new idea, a new perspective to my life and any current situation that needs my compassion.” (Dr. Arleen Bump) “Forgiveness, is giving up all hope of a better yesterday…” (Mark Twain)

I, also, realized that “forgiveness is like a poison that I give myself,” in the hope of hurting the person who harmed me. With this understanding, I made a mental assessment of all the people that I haven’t forgiven. You see, I had to look hard to find these things and people, because, before I left Nashville, I took three months to do just that with all my exes, friendships that had fallen by the wayside, and people that I had unfinished business with. However, what I realized is that forgiveness doesn’t stop with the big hindrances. Unforgiveness is a life force that affects every part of my body on a daily basis.

Unforgiveness begins with a judgment. I don’t like what you do, how you do it, or question your intentions. This is the inception for all unforgiving thoughts. If you don’t take a mental assessment daily of this energy, eventually it gets to you and stops the movement of good in your life.

Yesterday, I was halted completely by small pieces of unforgiveness merging together to make one large blockage, like a dam stopping the inflow and the expression God in me. So, I looked harder and found that my judgment of two situations in my life had been causing unforgiving thoughts to myself, not to the people who caused the infractions.

These people brought up in me a place where I tend to condemn myself and my reactions, so much so, that I hold myself in contempt of court, until I make everything better. But, the truth is about the situation, I need to learn to accept my human behavior and quit condemning myself for making mistakes. I hold myself to a higher ideal than I do most people. The ideal is so high, sometimes, that I can’t live up to it. So, what comes from it is self-condemnation and even denial of my own good.

I have learned to look at my humanness as I would the young Bo inside of me (I call him Bobby). When I make a mistake, I imagine that I have a child who has simply not understood, been reactive or had a tantrum, hasn’t been given the right information to make a solid choice, or simply tripped over his own self-righteousness. I may chastise the child or simply correct him, but most likely, I would stand in forgiveness, knowing that what he needed is encouragement and the right information to make a better choice next time.

Take a moment today to bring forgiveness to yourself and others in your life. You will find that the gift you give yourself in this action will shed incredible light and compassion in and through you throughout the day.

 

This book is a story of never saying what you want or believe, until maybe it’s too late. This piece of Southern Literary Fiction will have you laughing and crying as the confusion of life, love, and crazy characters find their way into your heart. Go to Amazon!

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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

How Can You Believe that I Forgive You, If You Don't Forgive Yourself?

How Can You Believe that I Forgive You, If You Don’t Forgive Yourself?

Yesterday in yoga class, I introduced a few of my helpers in the front row. Alas, I forgot the name of one of my oldest yogis, who was also in my yoga DVD “Boga Fitness.”

I immediately tormented myself with thoughts like “I hope she will forgive me,” “I’m so bad with names,” “the rest of the class must think I’m an idiot.”

About two minutes into the barrage of mental vomit, I realized that I was actually beating myself up in the middle of trying to teach people to be at peace with themselves and with God. My initial thought was: How can I believe that God forgives me, if I can’t even forgive myself of something so miniscule?

What Actions Do You Take to Forgive Yourself:

I have struggled my entire life to be the best person, best friend, and best worker so that I would never be in the position to need forgiveness. The problem is that we are not perfect. We make mistakes that hurt others. So, forgiving yourself can be contingent upon how quickly you come to the table with an authentic apology and the realization of your own imperfection as a human being.

Yesterday, I was able to immediately say to Suzie that I was sorry for forgetting her name. I also explained to the class that she had been an integral part of my yoga DVD.

How Does it Feel to Forgive Yourself?

This was where I got stuck. Once I asked for forgiveness from my client, and she seemed kind enough to give it, I didn’t allow the feeling to stick to my soul. I condemned myself again, instead of releasing the bad residual effects.

My counter to the self-sabotage was to imagine that God’s abounding love was all around me, entering my body through the frontal cortex of my brain, at my forehead. I considered rationally that God’s sacrifice of Jesus was more than enough for the forgiveness of my small mistake. I imagined an overwhelming presence of love dissolving the condemning thoughts and washing away the feeling of condemnation. I allowed a lightness to happen in my heart and body.

Confession

Confessing our misdeed of any kind is the hardest for all of us, especially if you lean to perfectionism or narcissism or co-narcissism. I actually confessed to my class what was going on in my brain. I told them what had felt after forgetting her name and the thoughts that accompanied that mistake. I showed my class that teacher can struggle, which was important for them to hear. It also took me off any kind of a pedestal they may have unintentionally put me on.

Then I asked them to go with me to a place of complete forgiveness in meditation. We all went together on the pathway toward the light and true, authentic forgiveness. I asked each person to define a time in life when he/she felt a sense of not being able to forgive him/herself.

This communal effort was the perfect key to stop the rest of the struggle in my own soul, as we all reached forward into God’s perfect forgiveness together.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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