Yesterday, I visited an old boyfriend. After over a month of not seeing him, I realized that I may still have feelings for him hidden deeper than I knew. I told myself that the visit was to help me move on without regret.
I parked in the front of the store. I didn’t even look at myself to see if my hair was a mess or if something were in my teeth from lunch. I just went in—as is! I walked to the center of the store and saw no one. I called out, “Hola! Nadie aquí? (He’s Spanish.)
From the adjacent room, he appeared, disheveled and tense. His face looked as if it had aged 10 years in a month. His hair was coal black like he had just dyed it, and he appeared to have lost 5-10 pounds, which wasn’t a good thing, because he was completely fit before. He greeted me with a hug. “What’s up?” he asked.
“I was in the area and thought I’d stop by to see how you were,” I answered, following him to the project he would continue as we spoke, wrapping a chandelier in bubble wrap to pack and move his store to a new location. “So, what’s going on?”
When he began with his story, I realized, immediately, why I had exited his life when I did. From the time we broke up, until the present, his life had tripled in complexity. His ex-wife and children were moving, business slowed to a place where he had to make a strong decision to move his location and downsize, his business partner was causing big problems in his personal life, and sheer pandemonium had broken out, since my departure.
Just listening to him made me realize that his OLD STORY could have been my CURRENT STORY, had I not stuck with my intuition and left when I did. He carried around so much mental baggage that he couldn’t have fit me into his mind, had he wanted to. He was absolutely right when he let go and decided a relationship wasn’t what he needed, just then. He told me that his life was getting too complicated to be in relationship. His truth was spot on! I’m glad I believed his truth and took him at face value. Secondly, I trusted my instinct that, if a relationship with were meant to be, his life would change for the better.
It hadn’t. I received my answer and left the store. On the way home, I blessed him and his life for their contribution to my soul’s growth. Now, I can move on without regret. Perhaps, we’ll be friends. Maybe, not.
I tell this story because there is a spiritual lesson here that is so important. Every moment you spend thinking about the past and wondering if things had been different or how your life would be if… is just wasted time. Things had changed for my ex and me, but they had gotten worse for him and better for me. I didn’t have the strength to trust Spirit and simply move on. I had to see for myself. Fortunately, the scenario I saw was exactly what needed to help my soul find comfort and peace in my current decision.
Most times, we don’t get the comfort of checking out the past to see if we would have been happier had we stayed. Yesterday, was a small gift. The live-in ex-partner who left on Valentine’s Day two years ago because he had to “find himself” has never appeared in my life, called, or checked in since he had left. I have no idea if he is okay, if he is happy, if he has found another person, if if if if!
Honestly, his story doesn’t matter to my life anymore. His current life is part of my OLD STORY. I must live in my CURRENT STORY and resist all temptation to go back to old haunted memories. And so should you.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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