That Nostalgic Dance
I don’t believe we would be human if we didn’t have nostalgia
moments. Nostalgia seems to be a part of life. However, I have noticed that
when I move into the past with longing and “what ifs,” I notice that I usually
end up feeling emotional, or worse yet, depressed. Is nostalgia necessary for a
healthy life focused on the present?
I had a Black Lab/German Shepherd named Poco. He used to
stand up on his back legs and shake his head from side to side when he would
become excited. Eventually, we would encourage him and say, “Poco, do the
dance! Do the dance!” He learned that the command meant to do this funny
jerking movement. This trick always made company laugh and smile. Poco died
about six years ago of cancer.
Can we live life without a slow dance with the past? “Should
I have married him?” “Should I have quit my job and taken that opportunity to
start my own business?” “Should I have forgiven her and started over, wiping the
slate clean?” “Wouldn’t life be better if she were still alive?”
Every year, I make at least one commitment that will last
throughout January, if not the entire 365 days. This year, I decided to imagine
what would life be like if I lived it completely in the now. I have been trying
to act as if I can carry no part of the past into my future. Notice, I’m not
saying I believe the past didn’t exist or that it wasn’t important to make me
who I am. But I am saying that I no longer need to carry it with me into my
future.
In hypnosis, I have always done a session for people who
want to let go of something tragic. The session is based on the idea of walking
down the long hallway of life, carrying a basket in one hand and walking
through the seasons of life collecting objects that represent people, jobs, and
relationships—both good and negative. Once you’ve reached the present, a huge
gap stands between you and your future. To jump over the gap, you have to let
go of the basket, because it weighs you down.
If you think about it, what exactly do you need from the
past that will help you with the future? Could you exist without the residual
past and all that it brings to your life? This conundrum has stumped many
spiritual seekers in the past. I believe one can exist without the hindrance of
nostalgia and the past. The only thing the past brings to me is an old road
with signs—torn and tattered from the days before.
Can we paint the present and future with flowing beautiful
strokes when one arm is holding a heavy basket and the other arm is trying to
manage the efforts of balancing your body with the heavy load the past? We end
up crooked and safeguarding the past, only to miss the opportunities of the now
and the future.
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