Rejection—IS—Spirit's Direction

Rejection—IS—Spirit’s Direction

When I look back in my life, every time I have been rejected, whether it be for a job, a show, a relationship, or a friendship, it has always been perfect direction toward something more permanent, more lasting, and better for me.

Rejection is a hard word for everyone. We hate it. No one likes to be told that he/she isn’t right for something or someone. It hurts like hell. In fact, it is probably one of the worst hurts we can feel.

The reason is most of us desire to have close relationships. We desire to be liked and appreciated with every bone in our bodies. So, when we are told that we don’t live up to someone’s standards or that someone else was better qualified, it makes us just want to crawl under the bed and hide. It certainly does to me.

But I’ve been thinking about how negative the word rejection is. I’ve been wondering why, even though I know inside that it is God’s direction, I have let my life be controlled by rejection. I want everyone to love me. I want everyone to be my friend. I want to be considered and hired for everything I audition for.

It’s what’s known as Anxious Attachment. The need to be loved and held at close proximity is in my neuro pathways.

When I was a child, my mother left my father at a young age. The person who provided the most loving and caring in my life, left without a trace. She sent me to the candy store. When I came back home, she was gone with all her belongings.

I had five brothers and sisters who she sent to the swimming pool. I felt sick to my stomach and didn’t want to go. I knew something was out of the ordinary down in my soul. I was thwarting her plans to escape without detection. However, she wooed me away by asking me to go to the store—the store that would take me a half an hour to get to and from it.

I felt responsible. I understood in my child mind that I was the one who could have kept my mother at home, had I not been so interested in candy. I had my chance and I didn’t take it. This left a scar in my brain that has kept me anxiously attached to just about everything.

Of course, I would initially pick as a profession—acting, singing and dancing in NYC. This path was rife with rejection. I never got used to it. I finally decided to move to Nashville, record a Christian album and write books.

What happened was that I thought Christianity would be a buffer for rejection. When I discovered that the Christian music industry was worse than the secular one, I was even more disoriented. Then with writing books, you just spend a year of your blood, sweat and tears churning out a 400-500 pages only to find—you guessed it—rejection again.

I’m not saying that I didn’t have times of acceptance. I have had great successes, which I am very thankful for. But I begin to wonder if this entire journey has been about resolving this one issue—REJECTION!

When I use logic and reasoning, I see that rejection is only God’s direction. If I believe firmly in the concept that God and Spirit are steering me into the place I need to go where I will be aptly blessed and learn tremendous life lessons, there is no other way to look at this truth.

However, if I have an anxious, disoriented, or avoidant attachment in my life, this is the only autonomic response that acts in the body without reason or thought. It is alive like having your own active volcano inside. When you get triggered, there is little to do but let it come out and feel it.

However, I have been using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitation Reprossessing) to change the patterns and the amount of time I stay disoriented and sad. The system works.

I’d be happy to help you with it and hypnosis, if you are dealing with some pain of this nature. It’s almost miraculous if you can find yourself strong enough to take a different pathway in those times of disorientation or anxiety.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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