I have a good friend who is about
trying a lot of different things right now. She says, “I’m going through a
phase and seeing what sticks!”
Of course, I got to thinking.
That’s just like pasta, I thunk! An old trick with the Italians was to throw a
piece of spaghetti against the wall. If it stuck, it was just about al dente
(to the tooth), or a tiny bit chewy, but done.
I think that most people in life think
that trying something means committing to it. At my age, I don’t believe that
at all.
I love to stick my hands in
things and give something a good try. I love to make a new recipe. I loved
bungee jumping. I loved hang gliding. I hated learning to ski, but I love it
now. Had someone not thrown me on top of a high mountain and said, find your
way down, I probably would have never learned. But once I got the hang of it,
you can’t keep me from committing to a fun ski trip. I love it.
I’m not great at softball, but,
hell, I’ll play if the right people are doing it for fun. At this point in my
life, I really don’t care if I strike out. I’d probably have a good laugh at
myself if I did.
There was a time in my life I
would have been mortified to have failed at anything and wouldn’t have tried
that very thing, just for fear of failing. How many chances have you lost in
your life from not letting yourself have a shot at life, even if you had no
chance at being great at it?
I’m a Virgo and a perfectionist.
I love being great at things. So, unfortunately, that made me a very limited
person for a long time in my life. I was so afraid that people would judge me
if I were bad at something, I’d never even tried sometimes.
I stress the sometimes, because
there was a voice in me—I think it came from my mother—who said, “If you don’t
ask questions, you’ll never learn, and if you don’t swing at the ball, you’ll
never hit it.”
Yes, I do remember how she came
to give me that talk. It was 1968 and I was eight years old. My dad made me
join the Little League Baseball team. God, I hated it. I was the worst person
on the team. I would get stuck out in rightfield only if we were winning and
only on the last inning. Even then, if I had to make the rounds of going to
bat, I would strike out every time.
My parents never came to one
game. So, I got the bright idea that I would tell the coach that I had to leave
early to get home before dark. This would make me have to leave before the
eighth inning every game, which meant that I never would get into the games at
all. The only time I had to really catch a ball or bat a ball was at practice
was at the beginning of the season. That, thank the good Lord, was over.
My excuse was perfectly plausible
until the end of the season when my team actually won the pennant, and I had no
idea, because I hadn’t been to one single ninth inning.
The coach called my mother and
father to invite them and I to the banquet. He also told her that he was sorry
I had to leave early before the end of each game. This led my mother to our big
“try” talk.
My dad did make me go to the
banquet and get my trophy, though I never even played. What a joke. So, you
could say I learned a lot from that summer, trying to avoid life. If you never
swing the bat, you can never hit the ball.
I would have helped to have had a
supportive father, who actually spent some time with me trying to teach me how
to play. But that is neither here nor there at this point.
I got him back when he would be
with his football buddies watching Sunday football. I would come into the
room—usually dancing into the room—and say, “Dad, did they get a home run yet?”
Mischievous little chap, I was.
And I didn’t like Dad much. He kind of instilled it in me early that perfection
was the game. If you couldn’t be perfect, you just shouldn’t do it. That fact,
he would make known every Easter when he would end up coloring all the Easter eggs
because his children made them too ugly to be seen by the company. Christmas
was similar. The tree ornaments had to perfectly symmetrical, otherwise they
would have to be rehung by him. I hated holidays because of that.
It took me until three years ago
until I actually tried putting up my own Christmas tree, in my own way, with my
own set of ornament rules. You know what? I loved it. I actually used to go on
a vacation at Christmas time every year just to avoid the customs. Now I stay
home on purpose, so I can enjoy all the things I missed as a child.
Throw that damn pasta against the
wall until it sticks. Keep trying, friends. Some day you’ll find something that
really makes your heart sing. And when you do, you’ll be glad you took the time
to try. It makes all the difference in the world.
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and LifeCoach, available
for private sessions to Quit Smoking, Lose Weight with the new Lap
Band-Hypnosis, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334.
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