A Portrait of My Mother; A Portrait
of Me
I trace the fine lines around my mother’s eyes and feel the
rich colors of her heart in every passing gaze. Yet, in the silence of whispers
and in the magic of doing nothing, I follow the long silken strains to the
inner recesses of her undernourished mind. The magic this Christmas was
realizing that all she is, everything she was, and even her future reflects a
mirror image of myself.
I spent a few days a little depressed around the holidays.
Every time I asked myself what was wrong, I kept repeating that I’m frightened
about the future. I wondered if I’m good enough to keep love flowing in my
life, to sustain a thriving business, and to continue to write with persistence
and authenticity. All seemed to come to a head when I wrote down how many
people I have unresolved issues with in my life. I made a list like Santa.
Only, I checked this list thrice. Yes, there were at least fifty people on the
list about whom every time I recall the past, I feel a sensation of sadness.
When I go down the road of our last conversations and recount the great moments
in our lives, I realize that all I really feel is loss. I repeat to myself,
“This is Direction, Bo; not Rejection!” Yet, I still feel the stinging pain of
abandonment in every lost relationship; especially now during the holiday.
I sat at the kitchen table with my mother this afternoon.
She said, “I’m going to use the new plates you bought me for Christmas dinner.
I sure do wish I had some nice salad plates to go with them.”
I took a deep breath and spoke quietly: “Why is it so hard
to be thankful for what you have and not complain about what you don’t have?”
She responded, “I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a
fact! I’m thankful about the plates you bought.”
Yet, all I could hear in her issuance of the statement about
the salad plates was: I wish you had bought me a set with pretty salad plates!
I let myself feel guilt and manipulated by her words, instead of taking them at
face value. Then, it occurred to me just how much she has done without, her
entire life. Finally, I’m able to give her things she had never had, the
security of a life that she thought she would never get. So, when she makes
statements such as the one about the dinner plate, perhaps, it’s just that she
feels the sense of lack from her past more than she feels the joy of having
something lovely in the present. Or her mind sees the holes in the
infrastructure of her life, rather than focusing on the solid, secure basement.
You know, I can understand this concept. I had mentioned
about the sadness about the fifty people in my life. But what I didn’t tell you
was how many thousands more I have in my life who absolutely love and adore me
and make my heart overflow with joy daily. I have a partner that is the best
man in the world. He makes me laugh and smile all the time. He helps me feel
secure and loved 99% of the time. I have a job that excites me every day. And I
have artistic hobbies that keeps me flowing with creative energy. With all that
is good in my life, I am still a portrait of my mother. I trace and retrace all
that is wrong with my life, instead of settling on the wonder and the joy that
God recreates in my life every day and every moment.
Life isn’t about loss. To quote a woman who had conquered
cancer, only to find a new growth, years later, she said, “Life is loss. Every
moment of every day passes before you have the chance to enjoy it. The trick to
being happy is to cherish the current moment, more than you mourn the loss of
the one passing you!”
______________________________________________
New Challenge: Go to Week 8 of the “Year
to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
______________________________________________
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a
Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my
Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
Below is information that I will be sharing for about a
month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have
already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.
A
Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year
Challenge.)
The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a
person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At
twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal
minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a
book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and
you will find your authentic Self.’”
A Year to CLEAR Challenge!
The acronym CLEAR
stands for (Compassionate, Loving,
Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to
engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks,
promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each
week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab,
a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group
functionality.
My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to
have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at
growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.
As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring
to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome
mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and
expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.
The combination of all three in one book with an interactive
connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to
CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.
The One-Year Approach to Change
No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in
change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around
us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective,
looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.
Accessing the
ability to change and finding
yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call
getting to the “observer mind.”
In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change
and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The
workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement
Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and
body flow to a positive space for change.
Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this
constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling
future.
Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance
to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a
donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com
·
My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to
Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
·
Introduction to Meditation
·
Smoke Cessation mp3
·
Weight Loss mp3
·
Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
·
Insomnia mp3
·
Eternal Om mp3
·
Meditation Music mp3
·
Guide to Meditation mp3
·
Healing the Body mp3
·
And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for
your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health
Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New
Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at
615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my
books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in
the search header.
Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to
Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd
R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
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