Be a Clown– The Whole World Loves a #Clown #suicide

Jesse, a 37-year-old actor living in New York City, loved to make people laugh. In fact, he would do or say just about anything to put a smile on the face of anyone in his company. His demeanor, when he was alone, was often solemn and disparaging, because no one needed to be pleased. His entire world was about the high he received when someone else was joyful. One day, Jesse realized that the world just didn’t have enough people to please, so he left it. Just like that. No explanation. No note. Just a dangling body from a stark white ceiling in a New York City loft.

Friends were aghast. People were astounded. “Not Jesse,” they exclaimed, “he was the happiest person I’ve ever seen in my life!” But was he? He made other people happy. He smiled to gain the pleasure of other people’s joy, but Jesse was very depressed. And, to everyone’s regret, his depression had gone undetected for years.

The suicide rate in America alone last year for middle-aged men was 27.3 per 100,000 people; the rate for women was 8.1 per 100,000. Why are middle-aged men at such a greater risk for suicide than women in America? One of the reasons, I see, after life coaching men of that age for 20+ years is that men have imbedded in their subconscious a need to be successful by a certain age. Married men have the added increase of responsibility of making everything in their world right. No one gave middle-aged men this responsibility in this day and age, but still it is deeply ingrained in their mind’s mainframe. Client after client tell me how hard it is to be the breadwinner of a family, because all of their own desires, wishes, and dreams have had to go on hold. I had one man tell me two weeks ago that he had completely given up on the idea that he would ever be happy.

According to the Suicide Awareness website (www.save.org), besides the common “talking about death, or feeling hopeless with no reason to live,” some of the common, more undetectable signs are:

• Suddenly happier, calmer,
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions,
• Sleeping too little or too much,
• Withdrawn or feeling isolated,
• Displaying extreme mood swings,
• Loss of interest in things one cares about,
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye, and
• Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.

All therapist, psychologists, and psychiatrists know this fact, and it has been  written as a warning symbol on every antidepressant since increasing signs of suicide had been occurring after taking an SSRI, especially in teens, in 2006. The risk, according to the CDC, is 7.9 out of 100,000 teens may choose suicide, while taking an antidepressant. The paradox in the findings is that statisticians can’t really decide if suicide is the result of the depression itself or the medication.

However, remembering when I first began my antidepressant, 25 years ago, I visited the Grand Canyon with my 13-year-old nephew. I remember him crying, because I had walked out onto a precipice over 1500 feet high, onto a flimsy branch that could have broken in an instant. I could have easily fallen to my death. But I felt so indestructible at that time.

As a result of that experience, I believe, that the reason for suicidal thoughts coming from taking an antidepressant for the first few weeks is more about someone who has been contemplating suicide, suddenly having the courage to actually succeed.

I know this is one of those subjects no one really wants to discuss, but for some reason, it bears being said, today. Perhaps, someone out there has a family member or a friend in a precariously mental situation that needs attention. Or, maybe, you have a child who exhibits unusually desperate signs. After having five good friends, over the years, take their lives for no apparent reason, even having had dinner with one the night before with no strange signs of remorse or pain, I know for a fact, we need to pay greater attention, if not for the friend or family member thinking about suicide, but for all the people left in the wake.

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This weekend is the book launch for my new cookbook: Gluten-Free, High Protein Cookbook and Recipes: Easy Meals in Less than 30 Minutes, which means the book will be FREE to my friends for exactly 5 days on Amazon and Amazon Kindle (ending Monday, August 11).

GET YOUR FREE BOOK HERE: (The cover for the free book is different than the one pictured below, so you can distinguish which is free. If you desire the book as a paperback, it’s $7.99, and you can purchase the book at this link:

If you enjoyed what you read, please LIKE my blog or email it to a friend, so that we can spread the good news of “Finding Authentic You!”

[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]

No Do-Overs: #Suicide and #Suicidal Thoughts

No Do-Overs:  #Suicide and #Suicidal Thoughts

On a cold day in winter, after I had lived in Nashville for one year, a friend from New Jersey called me who attended my church. He wanted me to be the last person he would talk to before the overdose, he just took, began to take effect. He shared with me that he just didn’t love life enough to stay with us. He said that his gay life was too painful, and he would rather be with God. At that time, I was a very devout Christian minister, and reminded him of the scripture that suggests, that if you take your own life, this is the worst sin. At that time, I believed in hell, and I thought my friend’s soul was destined for it.

As he was from 500 miles away, for some reason, he thought I could do nothing about his fate. But, after talking with him and saying goodbye, I looked up his address, called the local police, and saved him from his own misdoing. About two months later, I received a phone call from him. Though, he wasn’t angry with me, he was still depressed. I suggested that he see a psychologist and find some medicine that would help him with his depression.

My friend was one of 750,000 suicide attempts in the U.S. a year. This fact, according to Suicide.org, is rather amazing; but, only 30,000 of those 750,000 attempts, actually die. The main cause of these attempts is untreated depression.

So, most people who try suicide are crying out for help. Can we hear them? I had a doctor friend who had four children. His youngest child just couldn’t seem to kick drugs. He would start college, be doing fine, then, suddenly, my friend would get a call. His son was in the hospital because of an overdose. My dear friend tried to help in every way, even giving up his personal life to take care of and nurture his son. They went on mission trips together. They even both got engaged at the same time. Two weeks before the intended marriage, my friend’s son hung himself. Suicide is real. Depression is real. But, how much have we done as a nation and a society to help stop it? I’m not sure that we’ve done enough.

Three of my dearest friends in the world have committed suicide, with no indication in my mind that anything was even wrong. In fact, I would say the successful suicides are well thought out and are enacted without a hitch. The only issue is the right time and the perfect storm of emotions to make the act actually happen. Two of the three of my friends successfully killed themselves when they had begun a regimen of a new antidepressant for only about two weeks. One of the issues with taking an antidepressant is the risk of suicide in the first three weeks of taking the medication. If you have a client or friend who just started a new psychotropic medication, the effects of a new antidepressant can be euphoric and cause a sense of fearlessness, which causes someone who is planning suicide the perfect opportunity to enact a deed that would be frightening for most.

Be aware and get the fact. Maybe, you, too, can help someone silently crying out for help!

In July, I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends. 

Hitting Rock Bottom: #phillipseymourhoffman

Hitting Rock Bottom: #phillipseymourhoffman

We’ve all heard the story of the alcoholic or drug addict found face down in a mud puddle after losing his friends, job, and family. Generally, this is a right of passage, as there is nowhere else to go but up, if he/she faces the addiction. Nothing is more sad than when this sickness ends in the death of someone beloved to the world. 

Over the years of my life, I have heard many stories of hitting rock bottom. Most times this happens as a result of an addiction, which means that the Ego had been in complete control for a while. The person involved usually has a “dark night of the soul,” which can be defined as the weakest moment of your life. This is when you finally realize that accepting your spiritual truth, whatever that may be, is the only way out.

My dark night was a year after I moved to Nashville. I had been an “in the closet” homosexual for many years, as I left my sexuality for the church and religion. I thought I couldn’t be gay and love God at the same time. As I struggled for many years, even giving up the idea of having an intimate partner completely. I asked God for answers.

A friend recommended I go to see a counselor, who happened to be a priest at Catholic Services. I made an appointment for the next week. My first appointment took three hours. I couldn’t stop crying. Every story I told about my past led to more tears and shame. For some reason, up to that point in my life, I felt as if my childhood had been normal. But suddenly, I realized that all the abuse I had suffered left me with posttraumatic stress and enough anxiety to fill the Titanic.

The priest was kind and caring. He helped me through much of what could have been a nervous breakdown. He advised me that my childhood wasn’t my fault. He showed me ways of forgiving and moving on that I hadn’t thought of in the past. Still, one night soon after I started therapy, I wanted to take my life. I felt hopeless and fearful that I was too broken to ever find happiness. I didn’t make any specific plans as to how I would proceed with suicide, but I thought hard about not continuing my life. I shared with my mother how sad I had been. She lived in Tucson, Arizona, then, and I lived in Nashville.

I went out to get groceries. When I returned to my house, three policemen with flashlights were looking in my windows. Of course, this scared me. I thought I had been robbed, or that they had been looking for some criminal who ended up hiding in my basement.

But, the truth, though it sounds funny now when I think of the scenario: my mother was so frightened that I would actually take my life that she called the police and told them of her fear. The words of the big, hunky policeman were what actually set me back on course, “Son, I think you better call your mom. She thinks you took your life.”

When I heard his words, I realized how horrible suicide would be for everyone around me, especially my family. So, I decided to continue with counseling and seek for a more authentic way to live my life. This action alone is what helped me be compassionate toward myself and my personal situation. As a result, I ended up starting on a path of healing that has taken me through until today. My hope is that someone thinking about taking steps toward leaving this world will read this and know that hope exists for you. Reach out for help! Someone will catch you and nurture you back to health.

Sad Clowns: Signs of Suicide

Sad Clowns: Signs of Suicide

In one scholarly study about “Antidepressants and Suicide” written by Susan S. Jick and A. D. Dean, estimated 8.5% of 10,000 people studied resulted in suicide on their death certificates in a period of 180 days taking one of the 10 most common SSRIs. Out of the 143 suicides, 67 people had a history of suicidal tendencies. The rest did not. This is an extremely high amount of people dying because of a medication that should be causing the exact opposite reaction. Why is this so? Why is the public more aware?

It is estimated that a person takes his own life every fifteen minutes in the United States. The CDC lists suicide as the 10^th leading cause of death in the US. I never knew that.

I had a very good friend who was everybody’s best bud. When he walked into the room it was “one singular sensation, every little step he took. One thrilling combination every move that he made. One smile and suddenly nobody else would do. You know you'd never be lonely with you know who. Sigh! Give him your attention. Do...I...really have to mention? He's the One!” (From “A Chorus Line”).

Unfortunately, my friend wasn’t the bundle of joy inside he let on. About two years ago he committed suicide. Everyone I know was shocked. I was completely devastated, because I had just had lunch with him the day before. He didn’t seem different. He didn’t appear to be contemplating the end. He just was my dear friend, playing the role of his life.

I looked for my passport yesterday and ended up cleaning out three drawers trying to find it. I figured I might as well use the time wisely and get rid of that dross that continues to collect when I’m not looking. I came across my dear friend’s funeral bulletin. A smiling picture of him took up most of the front cover. I spent a long time contemplating it… him. It seemed that fifteen minutes had been suspended in time. I could remember every moment with him, every conversation, and even the times he didn’t know I knew about, I remembered.

I suppose his demise crept up on me more strongly than normal, because another dear friend had suffered a devastating blow yesterday. I worried about the worst that could happen. I would never want a recap of the days I had heard of, now, too many friends who had taken their own lives. Suicide is so prevalent these days, but very few people talk about what to look for and how to prevent it.

I went out with a physician for three years who had a twenty-one year old son who just recently took his life on the eve of his wedding, after many years of struggling with addiction. No words could express the grief of his father or his betrothed. I had no words of reconciliation for the man I loved for years. Yet, with his son there was a knowing that something like this might happen. His son always danced on a tightrope, falling occasionally into that net below—generally his father was the net. I always wondered what would happen if the net weren’t there.

With a few of my dear friends who have committed suicide, this was not the case. These friends were joyful, loving, giving, and one was even a life coach. I wonder what her clients thought when they heard the news.

In almost every case of suicide in my life there had been a contributing factor: the person had either just changed the dosage of an antidepressant or just started a psychotropic drug. One of the precautions clearly written on any antidepressant is the risk of suicide in the first three weeks of taking one. Why is this so?

I remember a time when I first started taking an antidepressant in 1990. I had been taking Zoloft for two weeks when I went on a vacation to the Grand Canyon with my nephew.  

A tree limb about the size of a railroad tie projected from the side of the precipice where we stood. For some strange reason, I decided I wanted to see what the canyon looked like from the end of that tree limb. Nothing could stop me from finding out. I had absolutely no fear of falling.

Before the antidepressant you couldn’t have chained me to that limb. When I played the role of the Fiddler in “Fiddler on the Roof,” at TPAC, the producers had to create a way to hook me to the roof to sit 12 feet above the stage without wanting to faint. Everyone laughed at the premise of this roof fiddler being afraid of heights. I tell you the story to juxtapose how afraid I was compared to the fearlessness after taking Zoloft. I do remember my nephew screaming and crying, “Uncle Bo, please come down from there. You are scaring me!”

Then, I didn’t think the climbing out on a limb was that much of a risk. Now, I know differently. In the first few weeks of taking an antidepressant, people tend to do things they were afraid to do in the past. If one has been afraid to take his life, the inclination may be to actually follow through with it. I believe, that the above reason is probably the biggest risk of taking the antidepressant. Of course, increased dosages will also create the same kinds of illusions.

So, if you have a friend or family member who has just begun a course of antidepressants, it is best to watch his or her behavior carefully those first few weeks. If you know that same person has had thoughts of suicide, make sure you tell the prescribing doctor, because the patient probably didn’t tell the doctor. The reason why she or he didn’t explain is because more and more family practitioners and Internists are prescribing psychotropic drugs without proper counsel.

I remember one time going into a doctor with whom I had just started treatment. I explained that I had been taking an antidepressant and would like for the doctor to continue with the same dosage. I gave the doctor the name of the drug and the dosage. The physician never blinked. He simply wrote out the prescription.

Don’t get me wrong, I think antidepressants saved my life. However, I also believe that people should be monitored more closely during the first few weeks of taking them. I get the strong feelings some of my friend’s lives could have been saved had that been the case.

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Go to Week 3 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!