Jesse, a 37-year-old actor living in New York City, loved to make people laugh. In fact, he would do or say just about anything to put a smile on the face of anyone in his company. His demeanor, when he was alone, was often solemn and disparaging, because no one needed to be pleased. His entire world was about the high he received when someone else was joyful. One day, Jesse realized that the world just didn’t have enough people to please, so he left it. Just like that. No explanation. No note. Just a dangling body from a stark white ceiling in a New York City loft.
Friends were aghast. People were astounded. “Not Jesse,” they exclaimed, “he was the happiest person I’ve ever seen in my life!” But was he? He made other people happy. He smiled to gain the pleasure of other people’s joy, but Jesse was very depressed. And, to everyone’s regret, his depression had gone undetected for years.
The suicide rate in America alone last year for middle-aged men was 27.3 per 100,000 people; the rate for women was 8.1 per 100,000. Why are middle-aged men at such a greater risk for suicide than women in America? One of the reasons, I see, after life coaching men of that age for 20+ years is that men have imbedded in their subconscious a need to be successful by a certain age. Married men have the added increase of responsibility of making everything in their world right. No one gave middle-aged men this responsibility in this day and age, but still it is deeply ingrained in their mind’s mainframe. Client after client tell me how hard it is to be the breadwinner of a family, because all of their own desires, wishes, and dreams have had to go on hold. I had one man tell me two weeks ago that he had completely given up on the idea that he would ever be happy.
According to the Suicide Awareness website (www.save.org), besides the common “talking about death, or feeling hopeless with no reason to live,” some of the common, more undetectable signs are:
- Suddenly happier, calmer,
- Giving things away, such as prized possessions,
- Sleeping too little or too much,
- Withdrawn or feeling isolated,
- Displaying extreme mood swings,
- Loss of interest in things one cares about,
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye, and
- Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
All therapist, psychologists, and psychiatrists know this fact, and it has been written as a warning symbol on every antidepressant since increasing signs of suicide had been occurring after taking an SSRI, especially in teens, in 2006. The risk, according to the CDC, is 7.9 out of 100,000 teens may choose suicide, while taking an antidepressant. The paradox in the findings is that statisticians can’t really decide if suicide is the result of the depression itself or the medication.
However, remembering when I first began my antidepressant, 25 years ago, I visited the Grand Canyon with my 13-year-old nephew. I remember him crying, because I had walked out onto a precipice over 1500 feet high, onto a flimsy branch that could have broken in an instant. I could have easily fallen to my death. But I felt so indestructible at that time.
As a result of that experience, I believe, that the reason for suicidal thoughts coming from taking an antidepressant for the first few weeks is more about someone who has been contemplating suicide, suddenly having the courage to actually succeed.
I know this is one of those subjects no one really wants to discuss, but for some reason, it bears being said, today. Perhaps, someone out there has a family member or a friend in a precariously mental situation that needs attention. Or, maybe, you have a child who exhibits unusually desperate signs. After having five good friends, over the years, take their lives for no apparent reason, even having had dinner with one the night before with no strange signs of remorse or pain, I know for a fact, we need to pay greater attention, if not for the friend or family member thinking about suicide, but for all the people left in the wake.
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This weekend is the book launch for my new cookbook: Gluten-Free, High Protein Cookbook and Recipes: Easy Meals in Less than 30 Minutes, which means the book will be FREE to my friends for exactly 5 days on Amazon and Amazon Kindle (ending Monday, August 11).
GET YOUR FREE BOOK HERE: (The cover for the free book is different than the one pictured below, so you can distinguish which is free. If you desire the book as a paperback, it’s $7.99, and you can purchase the book at this link:
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[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]
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