Being Right, Being Perfect, Being Wrong! #inspiration #greglouganis #lifepurpose #spiritualadvice #perfectionism

Even a broken clock is right two times a day. The only difference between perfection and having faults is your acceptance of either. The incredible Olympic diver, Greg Louganis, said about his life with his difficult coach (paraphrased): even though every day he forced me toward perfection and humiliated and pushed me to my limits, I would never be the diver I had become. Even still, as I’m sure Greg feels now, perfection didn’t make him happy or complete his soul… His moment of power came when he hit the diving board, got low scores, and bled into the pool drops of his imperfection, which led him to a life that changed the world forever. He came out of the gay closet and shared his incredible story about being HIV positive. His perfection as a diver left people speechless, but his imperfection changed the way the world thinks!

I consider perfection daily. My dad forced our entire family toward perfection. As a result, I worked very hard to be the one to whom he never aimed his fiery darts. So, that meant being flawless daily! I was the perfect son. I never got in trouble, never smoked, drank, always got straight A’s, and said the right things. Even so, things didn’t always go my way. As we all know, perfection is an illusion.

I remember after getting a 4.0 throughout high school, I had a deviated septum operation that took me out of school for three weeks. During that time I had to make up a great deal of schoolwork while I was very sick. As a result, I got two B’s on my report card that term, which made me go from being first in my class to fourth. I was absolutely, utterly devastated. I begged the two teachers to change my grades, to let me do extra credit to change my grades. One teacher acquiesced, the other didn’t. So, as a result, the perfection I worked for my entire high school career, went from number one to number three!

I sat with the feeling of losing what was mine for years. I thought, for too long, if I’m not perfect in every way, I won’t be liked, I’ll lose what’s mine, and I’ll never attract anyone to my life who is worthwhile. So, I spent many years sword fighting with the wind.

The truth is you have to TRUST YOUR HOPES, NOT YOUR FEARS.

As for perfection, if you can’t hide your faults: Paint them chartreuse!

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Take a look at my very simple and small book, Meditation, Meditation, Meditation. Also, I provide a specific, personalized service, creating personalize meditation MP3 for you. I do this for a mere $25. The process is simple. You email me what you would like to understand, have clarity about, or tell me you just want to quiet your mind. I take it from there and create a twenty-minute Mp3 that you can download on to your computer or cell phone. You pay either by secure credit card over the phone or Paypal. It’s that simple! My email: bosebastian5@gmail.com

 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

#Perfectionism: Polishing Doorknobs #sytycd #realitytv

I have known people who are so meticulous about cleaning that they even will polish a doorknob or two, just to give the room an added shimmer. I can’t imagine having enough time in a day or the care to do such a meaningless action. Yet some, especially when trying to sell a home or get a room ready for a big party, will go to the nth degree to give their place that perfect look. I’m more apt to be the dude who will put something front and center that is absolutely imperfect—like a chipped vase—because I don’t think anyone feels comfortable in perfection.

I watched the performance finale of “So You Think You Can Dance,” last night. The producers showcased each of the four finalists with a five-minute autobiographical segment of their journeys to get to the finals. One young man who has had nothing but praise the entire season shared that his journey was more difficult in the process, because he has had to live up to perfection every show. From the first audition, I kept thinking Ricky would be the winner. However, now that I had watched the last dances, I’m beginning to wonder if America would settle on an underdog instead of the frontrunner.

If you watch any reality television that includes some kind of talent contest, America tends to always pick a person who has been less than perfect, rather than spot on. Have you ever thought about why the guy or girl who cracked or sang flat when singing her last song usually wins over the person who was perfect?

Who can relate to perfection? If you have had a narcissistic guardian or teacher in your past, you may think that perfection is the goal. But, when the time comes down to choosing the person who most deserves to win, we will all pick a contestant who has grown in the contest and who is less than perfect, because we can relate. You’ve heard the Salvador Dali quote, “Have no fear of perfection; you’ll never reach it!” That’s you! That’s me!

When you settle in to the idea that perfection isn’t the goal in your life, you may consider a more attainable goal: PEACE! Joy! Truth! Passion! All of these choices require authenticity, but not perfection.

When I sit down to meditate, I don’t have a goal in mind. I simply desire for quiet and to download some of God’s awesome insight into my mind. When I seek for Joy, I simply reach into my heart for what would make me happy in any particular moment. When I search for truth, I let the universe reveal it in the metaphors of life. And, finally, when I live for passion, I don’t start off aggressive and teeming with desire; I begin a slow course in discovery of something or someone new. In this mysterious unveiling, passion comes without my help.

So, today, choose to polish something worth shining. Begin to take off those cobwebs on your social and spiritual life. Chip off the corrosion that keeps the door hinges to your happiness and joy from opening wide to your bountiful and delicious life!

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The name of this book is the brand for all of my books, because perfection is never the goal. We all have a unique and wonderful way to get to our passion and joy. My goal is to help you find ways to clear the path so you can see your awesome future. Try this book and its 365 Daily Discoveries! Buy it Now!

[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]

Perfectionism—The Diabolical Trait

Perfectionism—The Diabolical Trait

If you are hard pressed to stop any personal action before it is absolutely perfect, raise your hand? Aghhh.

Now that both hands are raised—high, I can’t type. I could try using my toes to type, but I don’t think I would be all that perfect at getting things spelled correctly and at phrasing the grammar quite right.

What a hard life it is when you believe that everyone, including God, is judging everything you do down to the last iota. “I can’t go to sleep until all the dishes are out of the sink, my clothes are pressed for the morning, my dresser drawers are in order, my emails are answered, and I’m sure my schedule is exactly to where I can accomplish for the next day! UGGGHHHH! HELP! HELP!”

Listen, I know what you’re feeling, my friend. I grew up with a perfectionist, narcissistic Dad who wanted—needed everything exactly the way perfect, or no one in the family was happy.

One day, when I was about eight, my dad came home from a local bar about 10 P.M. and found a dirty dish in the cabin. He proceeded to break every dish in the cabinet, wake up all six motherless children, and had a family meeting on a school night.

I remember quaking in my pajamas. What is this raving lunatic going to do next? Of course, he made us clean up his mess. I am not sure how we got dishes for dinner the next day, but I do remember that awful night.

I also got a quick dose of how to be a co-narcissist with ease by the age of eight. Just simply do everything that I was told and don’t have an opinion. I saw fairly quickly that my siblings who had an opinion got on Dad’s shit list and got beaten for it. I was way too much of a pansy to be vying for any beatings from an ex-semi-pro football player parent.

In psychology, to be a narcissist you have to have a co-narcissist. Just like if you want to be a dependent, you have to have a conspirator, a codependent. Co-narcissists learn many of the behaviors of the narcissist by default, but it’s more for survival sake. Much like the narcissist, the co-narcissist must be perfect too. His/her reason is because he doesn’t want the perpetrator to see anything wrong with him to protect him from harm or mental abuse. But then this usually creates another psychological problem as an adult—OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) or worse yet, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

An OCD person is one to color code her closet or make sure pictures on the wall are exactly two inches from the ceiling and 22 inches from the floor and perfectly level—using a level. This same person wants to get all A’s in school. 98% is not good enough.

“What did I do wrong? How can I be better the next time? Everyone is looking at me and pointing a finger of disapproval. I can’t be a bad boy, because God is just like Daddy. I will be punished for eternity if I smoke a cigarette or have premarital sex. “

The story goes on and on and on. I don’t want to be on the merry-go-round any more. I’m sure you don’t either. It’s time to get off of the perfectionism train. The next stop —“I’m Human!”

Yep. That’s all it takes to get off that train destined for the end of the line. Just admit to yourself and the others around you that you are human and capable of mistakes. It’s that easy. Then you’re off that godforsaken train forever!

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. If you are looking to enter the RSS or Atom Feed, you have to go to the home page of the blog to get there. Also, I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211. And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Ishkabibble

Ishkabibble!

When I was a child, my grandmother—we called her Guggy—would often say to me, when my hair was a mess or I acted strangely, “You look like an ishkabibble.”

My mom recently told me my new haircut made me look like an ishkabibble. Besides being a bit put off with her, I suddenly had this moment of a realization that I had no idea what that word meant. She didn’t even know what it meant. She just repeated what her mother had said to her so many times. She understood the implication, but had no idea “exactly” what it meant.

After we laughed about it, I got to thinking about how many words I say or the way I say them are just me parroting something or someone from my past.

Ish Kabibble (1908-1993) actually was a comedian and a cornet player, who had a bowl-cut hairstyle similar to the character Mo on “The Three Stooges.” Later the word became synonymous for garbage, trash or simply bull shit, according to the Urban Dictionary.

Thanks, Mom!

My friend Sharon has a very southern accent.  She often will say something that deserves commentary.

I protest, “How can a 4.0 student say that onion is an ‘ongyun?’” Or “why do you make that funny face after you talk about wearing designer shoes?”

She told me that many of her affectations are directly as a result of her mother. She simply did what her mother did; spoke what her mother spoke.

My question to her was: Do you want me to tell you when you mispronounce something or do something peculiar? Or would you rather me shut up about it?

She gave me permission to tell her. I know that I want to be told when something I do or wear is out of the ordinary. Too many times have I walked out of the house with a plain shirt and striped shorts, only to be told a week later that it looked odd. We have way too many people criticizing us for attributes we actually have. I don’t want to be judged for something I didn’t even originate. I’ll stick to the humbling place of being wrong to correct the errors of my ways.

I was practicing a song with my accompanist, an accomplished pianist and singer, last night. We got to a part where I gave this note to her, “Could you slow up on that part and, maybe, play some of the melody line because your harmonies are a little flat.”

I asked her later if I had hurt her feelings, because I may have come off like a know-it-all. She admitted that she started to get defensive, then realized that the criticisms I gave were about wanting us both to sound better, not intended to be mean or pompous.

I apologized anyway. I replayed the scene in my mind and realized that I can be a bit a tyrant when I sing a solo. I have a perfectionist mentality, which in some ways has made me an expert in my field. But in other ways, could quite possibly make me a jackass.

In my life I’ve realized that perfectionism isn’t what people look for in a performance anyway. Most people look for authentic passion and truth. Even someone singing flat or off beat can be completely palatable if he or she reveals a part of the soul that is raw and wonderful. If there is anything in life I don’t want to mimic, it would be my father’s need to appear perfect in every way. He wanted his family to look perfect, so his criticisms were harsh and painful. I spent my entire life trying to be perfect to avoid critiques.

Now, I realize that perfect is the problem. Perfection just doesn’t exist. Our goal should to be find that little ishkabibble in us all and let him have fun and be authentic and real, embracing every silly quirk, without any explanation or excuses.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. If you are looking to enter the RSS or Atom Feed, you have to go to the home page of the blog to get there. Also, I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211. And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.