THE INNER BRAT: an unbalanced ego #egobalancing #spirituality #spiritualadvice #healthyego

If you have been following the last few blogs, I have been writing about the Ego. We have decided that the ego can be either healthy or unhealthy, balanced or imbalanced. One sign of an unhealthy ego is what the author and speaker, Christian de la Huerta calls “the inner brat.” I have called it in my writing the “inner child who always gets its way.”

You can recognize this part of your ego or in another person quite easily because it appears like the scenario below:

Child: “Mommy, mommy, I want this toy. Please mommy!”

Mother: “You have enough toys. Play with the ones you have already!”

Child: Begins to whimper. “But I want Thomas the Train.”

Mother: “Sorry, not today.” She speaks quietly because they are in Macys.

Child: Crying now. Sits in the middle of the department store floor and won’t budge.

Mother: Tries to get the child to come with her, nicely.

Child: Resists. Begins to rant. “I want Thomas the train now! I want Thomas the train! Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!”

Mother: Now embarrassed because the child is acting out in a large crowd, takes the toy from the shelf and shoves it in the child’s hand.

Child: Immediately stops crying and smirks…

When a child consistently gets what he or she wants, that child learns to control people by bad behavior. The parent loses control. Every in the room becomes controlled by this bad behavior.

That same child can exist in all of us. For those of us who have not dealt with that imbalance in our lives, we may still have that “inner brat” that won’t accept no for an answer from anyone. When we accept this imbalance as this is just me and I can’t help it, then we admit we have no control over ourselves. We may have learned to control others. But, what is more important: self-control, or the ability to manipulate others?

If you experience this feeling about to erupt, you can do yourself a big favor by stepping back from the situation and asking yourself a few probing questions:

1. What am I missing here?
2. Is there a delicate lesson to be learned by me not getting what I want?
3. What will I be if I let go of this feeling?

Of course, you cannot get to this problem if your pulse is pounding out of your chest and your face is flushed. Before you ask the questions, you must take consistent breaths, with your inhales and exhales equal in length and longer than normal. This, of course, will lower your blood pressure and move your body toward a calmer state, so that you can adjust your mental state to more of an observer than one who is actively in the problem and unable to solve anything.

The “inner brat” can be a challenging imbalance, especially if you have allowed it to exist in your for a long time. When I child gets what he or she wants, it only satisfies that current need. Begin to realize that getting what you want right now, in this moment, may be satisfying, but it never challenges you to become a better, more balanced person. The child never learns his lesson that not everything in life is meant for us at any given moment.

Ask yourself this important question: Do you want to appear to your friends and family as that child in Macy’s? If you don’t, begin the process of letting go of the need to control everyone and get everything you desire in the moment you desire it.

Life comes to all of us as we accept the present as the perfect moment, in the perfect time, as peace and love.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in April  or May of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Connect to Your Innocence! #innerchild #findingstrength #recovery #IFS #Internalfamilysystems

A friend shared about following her heart. She said, “When you treat your heart as if it’s an innocent child—always needing your protection—you never move in the wrong direction!”

Our greatest bliss and deepest peace always comes from a secure place. To get to security we must honor the small child that exists in each of our souls. He plays with us, sometimes annoys us, and holds us accountable, but always leads us to our greatest sense of comfort. Why is this so?

There is a psychological technique called IFS (Internal Family Systems). From Wikipedia:

The Internal Family Systems Model (IFS) is an integrative approach to individual psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D. It combines systems thinking with the view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities, each with its own viewpoint and qualities. IFS uses family systems theory to understand how these collections of subpersonalities are organized…

Of course, one subpersonality everyone has is her inner child. For me, “Little Bobby” is my radar, my consciousness, and also my security guard. When I feel that aching, gnawing feeling in my belly that insists I shouldn’t or can’t do something, I know it’s Bobby beckoning me, “Listen closely, I have something important to tell you about your heart!” I’ve learned that adhering to him always makes for a more secure and peaceful life. Some people call it trusting your gut. For me, I realize that my gut has a name.

Today, get quiet and find that inner girl or boy whom you left behind on your quest for adulthood. Instead of thinking you are too tough, too busy, or too wise to listen, trust the innocence that exists inside of you for guidance and ultimately to lead you into the perfect path of life.

 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

"You Do Things that Scare Me!"—Mirror Work #womenspower #feminineenergy #yingyang #mirrorwork #innerchild

"You Do Things that Scare Me!"—Mirror Work
 #womenspower #feminineenergy #yingyang #mirrorwork #innerchild

I listened to one of my favorite speakers last week, and she proclaimed at the beginning of her message, “I am a powerful woman!” I thought, how odd for her to tell us she is a powerful woman, instead of us gleaning that information from her talk. As always, I began to think about her purpose, because she is the kind of speaker who wouldn’t say something without intent. Then, I realized that she wasn’t proclaiming her power to us, but to herself and, perhaps, the universe. I love the concept of unabashed proclamation of your worth and power. I decided to try it myself. I said, “I give to the world my time and talents with few boundaries. And the universe rewards me with all good! I am a receiver of great power and wealth!” I repeated it a few times, because the first few time I think my body rejected it, as I gagged on the words.

Every time I said the words again, I felt more power.
Try to make a proclamation for yourself, today. See if you can find a palatable phrase that suits you, first. You don’t want to say words that you can’t believe. But, if you know a truth about yourself and haven’t been able to embrace it fully, maybe it’s time to start saying it aloud, to yourself, and to the world. Try saying it in front of a mirror. Louise Hay calls this “mirror work.” If you have never done it before, know that the work is much harder than you would expect it to be.

I remember in one of her many books, Louise tells you to go to a mirror and ask yourself what would make you happy. Well, I thought, how simple could that be? It was one of the hardest tasks I have ever done. First of all, after I coifed my hair, picked at a pimple, brushed my teeth, combed my eyebrows… (well, you get the picture), I finally looked into my eyes. What I saw was my own soul, maybe, for the first time. Then, to talk to myself, felt crazy. Expecting an answer became even stranger. For the longest time nothing came to me. I had no idea what my soul needed to be happy.

I reached down deeper and found a little boy there. He was so confused and scared. He hid in the closet from a drunken, abusive father, and no mother to protect him. I had to do the therapy for days before I could coax little Bobby out of the closet, holding him closely. I realized that when I asked myself what would make me happy, that I was asking little Bobby. This is why the process was so difficult. That inner child was completely silent, because I had ignored him for so long. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, he said, “I need you to protect me more.”
My incredulous question was: that’s what would make me happy? Perhaps, I thought, that’s what would make me feel more secure or at peace. Then, I realized that happiness was dependent on security and peace for me. So, I questioned the little boy. “Why are you so afraid?” His answer mortified me.

“You do things that scare me all the time!”

Then, I began to reflect on my boundaries in relationship. This was a time, twenty years ago, that I felt I was being more promiscuous than other times in my life. I wanted to discover what it felt like to date without the desire to fall in love, which, for me, meant separating my Self from my own heart, which had always sought to love deeply. I realized, in that moment, that my particular power in that moment was in listening to the little boy inside for advice and for truth. As Jesus once said, “Let the little children come… to me.” He asks us to come to God with the attitude of a child—open and honest.

That little piece of God spoke to me like an angel: “I need you to be my friend and protect me with everything you do.” So, I began to check inside to see if the actions I took in relationship were okay with my inner child. To the dismay of my very randy human body, most times, my actions made Bobby fearful and insecure. I had to reel in my lustful desires and listen to whether or not “little Bobby.” When I began to make this my litmus test for life, my entire world changed. I did feel more peaceful and happiness began to bloom from most everything I did.
This week, let’s try some mirror work. And, perhaps, a bit of proclamation of what you believe you should be to this world and for this universe!

***
Check out my new book: (New Promo YouTube Video—important for all GLBT friends (When you go to this link, if you have already seen the promo, look for the discoveries, as I have been posting new discoveries every week on YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4yGU-MVCtQ ) Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior:

http://www.amazon.com/Uncommon-Gay-Spiritual-Warrior-Authentic-ebook/dp/B00KPIVOIY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401708367&sr=8-1&keywords=uncommon+gay+spiritual+warrior .

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you


Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-445-8861 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.