Notice the randomness of the universe. Trees change color. People suddenly die. One day you’re healthy, the next day you struggle with cancer. How often does someone who really resonates with you and with whom you’re very attracted to actually enter into your life? My thought is: not so often and very randomly.
I talked to a dude who seemed very interested in me for about a month. Suddenly, he backed way off after a conversation about dating other people. I wasn’t into relating with more than one person at a time, especially, once intimacy began. He felt that I ought to be meeting as many new people as I could, as I was just moving to a new state. I found myself considering the possibility, then realized I have been there and done that. My mature reaction to our conversation was that, if I found someone wonderful to date, I would see only him.
When I go to the grocery store, the majority of the time, I know exactly what I’m looking for. Something new may intrigue me, but, usually, I will settle with what I know is good for me and is the right choice for my health. I feel the same way about relationship. Why have a sophomoric, casual feeling about relationship? If you do, you’re liable to miss out on someone really wonderful entering into your life.
What I notice mostly about solid relationships is that, when the couple met, it was an instantaneous bond. They may have dated awhile, were friends awhile, or took some time in deciding if marriage was in the picture, but they ended up following through with their initial impulse. Everyone has fear about whether the one you’re dating is the right person. That fear is important, but static. Fear helps you look for good and bad behavior that could be telling in the future. When you find someone you enjoy being with, the dating process is to help you figure out if you can be in this for the long haul. If you date, simply to have company, you waste everyone’s time, including your own.
People are not items that can be thrown away. Establishing a plan when you date is important. I might say to a someone that I just began dating: “Let’s date each other a couple times a week for a while and see how this goes. We can talk about how serious we are after a prescribed amount of time.” In this instance, both people understand that at the onset they need to show their best side and try, for heaven sakes. We are not on this earth to be floundering around like 20 year olds at play. Once you become a mature adult, look for mature, adult relationships—even with friendships. Our humanness depends on it. We are pack-oriented, like some animals—thriving beside each other. Most of us enjoy the company of another. If so, you must make an effort to meet people. After you do so, then you must follow through with your intent to find a solid future as a friend or a possible mate.
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This Novel exemplifies the nature of this blog. Jimmy Joe waits his entire life to marry the woman he had been loving since being a teenager. Even though circumstances fight against his will, he moves forward to find freedom and true love.
