Energetic Loss in #Relationship

We can lose energy in many ways. We can also lose the presence and mental acuity to manage life. For instance, someone you have been dating and may have even fallen in love with, decides to break up with you. You are caught unaware. You are disheartened and sad. This can cause an energy loss in every part of your life. An example would be if the break up happened right in the middle of preparing for the opening of a new business, a big proposal, an audition, or anything that would require your undivided attention. The question is: How do you get back the energy you lost? I think, we may have to go back to how we love and invest in relationships. Are we giving energy, lending it, or sharing ours to gain the friendship and interpersonal love that we seem to require as humans? If so, when you lose any relationship, then you will also lose the investment.

I know everyone has had great loss one time or another. Life holds many unexpected events. Sometimes a death of a friend or relative will appear out of nowhere. The grief that goes along with the loss of love or someone’s presence in your life, no matter if it’s in death or in separation requires grief. From the dawn of time, traditions have provided ways for us to grieve in times like these. In the Jewish tradition, sitting shiva is a seven-day event of mourning, designed to help a family take all the time it needs to grieve the loss of a loved one.

We are left with a necessity, as it were, to grieve. We don’t get a choice as humans to release from relationship without time to mourn, even when the separation is caused by divorce. So, grief requires energy. Depending on the amount of love you had invested in the person leaving your life, the grief may be long and arduous. If the loss is with someone you just met a couple of months ago, perhaps, you will grieve less. But, what usually happens in loss with relationships is that the grief gets compounded every time you lose another person. In other words, every time you lose another relationship, you grieve the loss of ALL of the relationships at once. You also begin to lose self-esteem, another energy loss. And all of this loss reflects in your daily life. So, we have to take a good look at how we invest our energy in love.

First of all, if you are standing in truth, “you are one with God, a part of the greatest energy of all.” Is it possible, then, for God or Spirit to lose energy, ever? Spirit’s energy is, in fact, continually expanding, as are the universes. So, the only way we can lose energy is if we believe that any human being has the ability to hold, keep, or borrow our own energy. So, it is in the giving of our own hearts and energy in relationship that we love amiss. Does God give up Its energy to create us and imbue us with power? I would think not.

God creates and invests in a way that multiplies its energy and recapitulates its power in humanity without the loss of its Own. So, if this is true, then how do we create love in our life without the requirement of giving away our own power? How do we love, mimicking the love and creation of God? This is an excellent question I would like to look at in the next few discoveries.

If we loved as God loves the world, we could become empty vessels that are conduits of love, always being refilled by God, not by another human. So, we may love unconditionally, but this power we use must come from our highest source of loving, instead of our ego. When we invest with energy of our humanness, we inevitably get taught a hard lesson. If you give love that is from the perspective of humanness, you will always suffer loss. This is built into the human condition. At the beginning of a relationship, we know that, eventually, we will be separated by death at some point. So, how do we manage not investing from a place of humanness?

It’s mere impossibility at this point in my life. I have tried and tried to disconnect from the place in my heart that attaches like a child to his mother’s breasts for nourishment. It’s an unhealthy attachment, yes, but hard to manage learning to love differently. Loving from a God place takes detachment and a release of expectation. When I even write these words, I think, how in the hell will I ever get to the place where I can give up expectation in personal relationship?

Today, let’s start with just monitoring how much energy we invest in the people we love. Ask yourself this one questions: is the energy I’m giving causing me to feel a loss in my energetic field? That’s the only question I want you to ask. We will reconvene tomorrow with some insights.

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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]