When met with a flagrant attempt to dismantle your peace and compassion, the only action to take is to assert your true self, not the old person a coworker, a family member, a spouse or partner tries desperately to conjure from your past. Today, I had a ex-long-term partner of eight years tell me that he didn’t want to see me before I went to Florida. His first two letters to me were open and honest, and he seemed anxious to want to get together. I haven’t seen this man in 3-4 years. I wasn’t sure I wanted to reengage, but we had had eight years together, and seven of which were some of the most loving years of my life. I felt we owed it to one another to say goodbye. Later that evening, I got an a curt e-mail from him that said simply, “I don’t believe we should get together. Have a nice life!”
Now, though his act was unkind, in my estimation, it should solicit a change in my essential behavior. Life often seems to be a game of power. When someone deserts a position to throw you off of your guard, this is an attempt to gain back his/her power, something, apparently, he had thought he’d lost. My initial response was a simple, “Okay.” Although, to be honest, I seethed for a short time, before I realized my heart was hurt, not angry. So, I wrote back to him with a letter that explained my true feelings. One thing is for sure, what I miss about him is not who he is now. What I miss about him is who we both were when we were in relationship together the first seven years.
Most of the time our pain isn’t about the person we engaged with in our past relationships. Our pain is more connected to the loss of what we dreamed we would have or could have had with that person. Sometimes, pain is simply the loss of a dream. The person is, and probably has always been the person he or she is now. But, you just didn’t see it clearly, because it was masked or shrouded in your fantasy.
When I go back to this old relationship, we had many good times and shared a life with many super wonderful friends. But, today, none of those people are the same, nor am I. We have all grown and taken on a different persona. I have gone on to be transparent and forthright. This offends a lot of people, especially in the south. I believe more friends enjoy my company because of my honesty, than supposed friends would had enjoyed my company because of a mask of congeniality. So, I settle with dismantling old, masked relationships, so that I can make room for the people in my life who can make a spiritual and relationship impact that is worthy of my time and energy.
I hope you find it in yourself to face your demons, even if they are hidden in past love and hurt. Once we discover the source of our pain, dismantling the lies that surround our hurt are easy to diffuse, like a bomb set to go off in seconds, with only the disconnection of one wire keeping you from disaster or a true and honest life! You choose.
I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyou-publishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.
For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.
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Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.
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