Prospects and Expectation #TheNOW #expectation #relationshipadvice #EckhartTolle

I rarely am wowed by anyone or anything these days. I’m simply a little jaded by life. When you’ve lived life as hard as I have, nothing stuns you. However, every once in a while, you get the temptation to hope that you’ll be simply bowled over and amazed at someone or something new and intriguing. That happened for me a few days ago.

If you don’t know, at this point in my writing, I’m a single, gay man in the middle of gay Mecca. I think, per capita, more gay men live in Southern Florida than San Francisco, right now. And if they don’t live here, they vacation here or have winter homes here. As I figured, from the time I arrived, there would be dating prospects galore. But, finding that one person who relates to me in many important ways, who doesn’t have to be vetted by the FBI, and is drug and disease free has been quite the challenge.

My friends here all tell me that I should let down my guard and have fun. “Don’t worry about finding a relationship!” they say. “It will find you. Just go out to bars and meet people. Have sex when you want. And you’ll love it, just like we do. Trust us. You will!”

After much deliberation, I simply think I’m just not cut out for bars and casual anything. I’m a serial monogamist who likes to cuddle and enjoys praying with my partner. Be that as it may, finding that one gay man who is all that and interesting and kissable (and available emotionally and completely out of a marriage—yes, that means moved out from his partner!) is an anomaly to say the least.

Since I don’t go out to bars, unless with friends for food or 1-2 drinks, I have only looked for dates on Match.com and OkCupid.com, which are dating sites that pander to people who are relationship oriented. When someone is interested in me from the sites, I read his profile from top to bottom (no pun there) and decide if he’s worth my time and effort. Most times, after a few emails, a couple of phone conversations, and now FaceTime, I can get a really good idea of who the person is without even meeting. This takes much of the risk away. So, I’ve been used to going into these coffee dates with my eyes wide open.

What happens, though, if I meet someone—not on the Internet—who really intrigues me? All of a sudden, I act like I’m fifteen again. My heart starts thumping, my palms sweat like I’m writing a love letter, and the worst thing—I expect way too much! Expectation will pull anybody down every time. Every meeting with anyone has pertinence. Trying to create the reason why two people’s path intersect is simply not the emotion to give, even if he/she is stunningly handsome or gorgeous. Expectation draws your attention away from the NOW and keeps you hungering for what you concocted in your mind about the situation.

This scenario could be true for just about any situation—work, friendships, and vacations. So, in short, don’t waste your time trying to decide why Spirit has allowed you to meet someone new or try something different. Simply be open and vulnerable to whatever comes and give it your undivided attention. You may be the person that helps someone, has compassion when it’s needed most, or teaches a lesson to someone who never expected his teacher!

 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Living Life with No Expectations! #livingNOW #expectation #noexpecation

Living life with a purpose—no problem. Getting rid of the past—starting to get easier every day. Spending time alone and in meditation—I actually look forward to it. Living life with no expectation—DAMN… I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to manage this one.

Managing your life without expectation is like living life without being codependent on God. I can’t believe how hard it is to learn the lesson to let go and release from the idea that I should have what I THINK I should have—not what is best for me—according to the perfect will of Spirit God. Early last week, my acting agent told me that I would probably have some SAG extra work (double time pay) this Saturday. On Thursday, I texted her and asked her if she had heard from the production company. She had not. I remembered the last two times I got this kind of work, I didn’t hear until well into the evening before. So, I kept my hopes high and the day free so that I would be available to work.

This morning, I woke up, checked my phone, and felt a grave let down when I had no response from the agent. In my mind, I realized I had already got the job and spent the money without any real confirmation the job was mine. My question is—and continues to be—how do I manage to stop living life before it actually happens?

A great therapist friend taught me about the neurological impulse of anxiousness as a result of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). Without delving too deeply into terms that you won’t understand, the impulse to feel anxious actually comes before your mind computes and deducts what happens to you in every situation.

So, in laymen’s terms, no matter how hard you try to NOT feel anxious about anything in life, if you have been stymied by a terrible incident in the past such as rape, abuse, abandonment, robbed at gun point, you will probably feel anxious the rest of your life, before you ever get the chance to see the issue clearly with your deductive side of the brain. So, knowing this, how can we begin to manage our anxiety?

What I do (and I’m not always successful) is start my day with affirmations and acclamations that confirm who I am, what I want to feel, and that God cannot reject Itself. Then, when an incident like yesterday happens, I confirm in my own mind, after the fact—because the anxiousness will come first—that I am okay, that Spirit God is in perfect control of my life, that the will of God never goes against my best interest, and that the NOW is waiting for me, as soon as I let go of my anxious feelings. When you do this, you mentally prepare yourself before your anxiety presents, which allows you to bolster your own will to live life free of anxiety. Eventually, you will understand that the anxiety is merely a human instinct that was there to protect you. Now, you simply must manage it like a hurt arm or high blood pressure.

 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

Christmas Without Expectation #Christmasday

Christmas Without Expectation #Christmasday

Can you imagine asking your young child who has been waiting 364 days for Santa to come down the chimney to deliver all his/her wants and desires to wait another day or two? Or worse yet, telling those same children Santa couldn’t come this year. The children’s hopes and dreams would be dashed. A great deal of precious zeal and joy come from the expectation of Christmas—even for adults.

This year, Allen and I decided not to buy each other anything for Christmas, because we wanted to save for our Caribbean vacation. I thought taking the pressure off of Christmas buying was a good idea. I’m the kind of person who likes to buy presents at odd times during the year when no one is expecting. I do that with cards and flowers as well. The only time I really go all out is on birthdays. Birthdays are all one person’s special day. It just makes sense to honor that day and make it special. Where Christmas seems to be more obligatory, rather than special any more. This is just my opinion, but I’m sure many others feel the same.

One year all of my friends who usually traded gifts decided to collect the money we would have spent and give it to a charity. To tell you the truth, Secret Santa wasn’t all that fun with nothing to trade. Yet, the thought was good.

In our family, because we have so many brothers, sisters, grandchildren and friends who celebrate with us, we have often decided to do Secret Santa, so that we could each get one big special gift. That, I have to admit, was a lot easier and wonder filled.

I have noticed in life that most of our deepest wounds come out during times of expectation: When we say “I love you,” what will our special ones say in return? When we do our best to make a gift for someone, will they smile and appreciate our intent, our will they fake joy? When we work hard for that promotion, and the person who has done much less for the company gets the honors, it never feels good. But how do we live life without expectation? Is it possible to instill in our children at a young age the getting on a special day isn’t a necessity?

When I was a kid, I was lucky to get one small gift; usually it was clothing to stay warm. We had little money and/or my dad just didn’t like spending his on Christmas. In fact, I remember him throwing twenty dollars at each of us about two weeks before Christmas day and saying, “Here, go buy yourselves something.” Yeah, Dad. Needless to say, he wasn’t my idea of Santa or a hero. Perhaps, that’s why I have a lack of interest in Christmas. If it wasn’t for my mother living with me, I probably would have never bought and put up a Christmas tree. These things never interested me. However, I have to say, that since I’ve began my own personal traditions during the holidays, things have been better. I even enjoy looking at the beautiful tree every year since I bought it.

Expectation is a part of life, probably the hardest part of life. I try to live my life without it, but even though I know it isn’t in my best interest to expect good from those who have hurt me in the past, I continue to look for the greatest in everyone. I feel people can change. But, to my dismay, most of them create the same attitudes like robots every year. If I were smart, I would stop anticipating good, but perhaps continue to hope for the best in all. Maybe the secret to not getting stymied by expectation is simply knowing this one secret about God: Spirit is always providing DIRECTION, not REJECTION!

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New Challenge: Go to Week 9 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!