Standing Strong in the Emptiness

“Last year was a difficult one with lots of changes.” I’ve heard this comment almost every end of the year for the last twenty years. My answer to that is: With difficulty and change, usually comes a great deal of growth. Even in the midst of the worst pain, the most horrendous circumstances, or the greatest mental stress, one truth always keeps me standing. That one truth is that “this, too, will pass.” Because everything in life changes, I am certain of that one absolute.

So, as we get ready for a New Year, most of us are ready and very willing to make a list of things that didn’t work out quite right last year. I am also ready to fill a large page with dreams I would like to manifest in this new year. I know one very important aspect that I want to follow more than anything and that is to follow my gut. When I look back at all the problems or the mishaps from last year, something inside of me told me—deep in my belly—that I should have left the situation. Yet, I didn’t go anywhere but deeper into the problem. Perhaps, that’s why I felt as if I was being fed to the wolves. Maybe, I was the one doing the feeding.

I have a friend who has been in a very precarious situation of late. She recently said to me, “You could do a lot better,” referring to her friendship with me. I thought to myself, what could possibly cause someone to have that small amount of self-esteem? What ever that “something” is, today is the time to decide to release it and start again. Every day is a chance to make your life better, to put aside the past and begin again.

I have another friend who has been telling me that he has been waking up with a feeling of emptiness, lately. To that, I shared, “Great! That means you have done your work!” That emptiness he feels is a clearing away of all the stuff that didn’t work. Now on this blank canvas, God and he can create a new and better life.

Getting used to emptiness is a difficult place to be, when you have been used to filling your life to capacity, so that you won’t feel the emptiness. I remember the first time, after many years, I was single. That emptiness felt strange and often embarrassing, as if I was wearing my loss on my shoulders. Then, I got the idea from a Tao teaching that the emptiness or darkness is the holiest of places, because in the vast emptiness is where God Creates!

So, take some time today and tomorrow to create two lists: 1.) jot down all the things in your life that did not work and that you now want to release; and 2.) write a list of things you would like to manifest. Let’s commit to a revolution in this year end, instead of resolutions for the new year!

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! --Bo

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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

Between Two Worlds

Between Two Worlds

One of side of your life is day-to-day clutter—messes to clean up in your job, in relationships, and with your family members. On the other side of the world is the antithesis—peace, perfect love, and the path to undeniable joy. As a spiritual seeker, sometimes we sit on the wall between both worlds and straddle our legs until they are about to snap. Which will we choose today to satisfy our hearts?

I often thought that there would somehow be a place between the two worlds on which I could balance—tipping to one side when it accommodated my life and then slipping into the ephemeral when my ego rose up with imperfect needs and anxious attachment.

The truth: there is no middle ground. There is no trying to be one place and not succeeding as we follow our blithe, ego ways. Being in the now consistently and powerfully takes all of my will and more. I remain awake and aware of my surroundings, those I touch, and where I’m being led to go every waking moment until I fall asleep. Even then, as I rest, Spirit inspires me with wisdom and fortitude for the upcoming days and events.

When we straddle both the spiritual and the ego world, I believe one side will always win out. Unfortunately, the side that wins out is what the bible would consider the Lord of your life. Do we really want to be controlled by our ego desires day in and day out?

I often have smokers come into my sessions admitting that they truly want to quit smoking. The main reason why is often because they feel that smoking controls the places they go, the people they hang out with, and the amount of money they spend. It’s true!

If you are a smoker, you have committed to many things you may not have intended to:  You have to take breaks when others are working; you have to go outside to assuage your cravings; and you have to pay over five dollars each time you smoke twenty cigarettes. You have to hang out with people who don’t mind smoke. You have to brush your teeth more. You have to wash your clothes more. You have to clean out your car and ashtrays more.

That’s a big commitment for a friend whose ultimate goal is to give you cancer and kill you.

I believe the same goes with overeating. No one likes to be told he/she is overweight. You see it every time you look in the mirror. I recently gained over half of that weight I lost in February, mostly because I bought a bread and pasta machine, have a boyfriend who likes to buy me treats, and because I simply don’t know when to stop eating. If I truly wanted to lose the weight, I would have to commit to doing life differently—eating differently, exercising more, and stop eating too many sweets and treats.

I’m dangling between two worlds. I want health, but I also want to appease that part of my brain that likes the crack cocaine urge of Orville Redenbacher’s PoppyCock with caramel nut clusters! Damn, once I open a bag of PoppyCock, I can’t stop eating it. Well, what would be the answer to that problem?

Stop straddling the fence of dieting, Bo. Commit to no sugar, healthy eating, and consistent exercise. But no… I believe I can find a happy medium, a good balance between the two.

For me, there is no good balance when it comes to sugar. If I eat a little, I’m going to eat a lot. If I eat carbs, I’m going to want more and more until I’ve overeaten and am miserable. No amount of consistent exercise will get that tummy fat off, when I don’t listen to reason. I know this every time I teach a yoga class, because my new YMCA yoga shirt is a bit small. Each time I raise my arms in class, my potbelly pops out and reminds me that I have not been true to myself. It also reminds me to use my core muscles. But who cares if you have core muscles, if you can’t see them, right?

Ultimately, we must choose between the worlds we want to live in. If you choose spirit, that doesn’t mean that there won’t be times of acquiescing to our ego. But that is not necessarily unspiritual. Part of being spiritual is knowing when you have a true and authentic physical need. It’s like the difference between having a healthy sex life and having to have sex twice a day to fulfill your urges. The first way is definitely part of a healthy human existence, the other way is pulling you toward a place you will never satisfy and will ultimately hurt you and the person you are in relationship with.

Define your life by making a solid choice! Decide to be led by your highest and best choices. Know that your body is a part of the perfect trio of mind, body and spirit that deserves its equal say, but shouldn’t be treated like a spoiled child just to stop the ranting.

Be an adult in your choosing. Seek life and live it more abundantly WITH spirit. God wants you to have all that you desire, but a perfect balance between mind, body and spirit is the ultimate goal.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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