Self-Bullying? #bullying #self-deprecation #spirituality

Many people talk about the important issue of bullying in schools. Not many are talking about the daily bullying we do to ourselves. How many times a day do you call yourself a self-deprecating name, like “stupid,” or “idiot” or say something like: “how dumb could you be”?

If someone you don’t know very well bullies you or says something horribly mean to you, somewhere inside, you may realize that this person has no idea who you are. They are simply looking on the surface.

Imagine how your own subconscious reacts to you—the person who know you the best—whenever you call yourself a name. The habit is intrinsic in this society and often comes from seeing your failures as negative instead of learning experiences.

If you are 35 or older, you probably did not have parents who believed in talking things out and supporting your artistic desires. I know my dad wanted me to become a clone of him. Forget about the kids at school who only believed that jocks should succeed. These mean children and old-time, harsh parenting skills didn’t give us much self-esteem. In fact, it did just the opposite. It gave us the words we use against ourselves now when we think we have underachieved. So, how do we begin to get over the issue of Self-bullying?

First of all, you must know who you are in relationship to the world and ultimately—Spirit. If you understand that Source is one Mind and that you are connected, created by and shaped in the image of that Powerful Mind, then you will begin to see yourself as One in power.

Co-creators, which we all are, like children in the playground of the universe are always LEARNING by making mistakes. We set out to create with great intentions. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don’t. But, ultimately, we are always learning lessons to help ourselves do better the next time.

If you were the parent to a child who made a mess of his or her first art project, would you tear up the paper and tell the child he or she will never be an artist? Hell, no! You would teach the child slowly the process of learning to paint inside the lines, not to mix all the colors together, and perhaps give the child art lessons. We don’t demean our children these days for messing up. We help them learn to be better.

So, we must go back into our own minds and listen for the voice of self-deprecation. Listen hard and decide who is the face behind those mean words to yourself. Once you discover the who, you must have an internal discussion with that voice. The discussion should go something like this:

“Here’s what I know about me. There is only one Source, and that source is God the good. I am a product of that amazing Source of Love. Therefore, I am good. Everyone is created by this same Source, so we are, in some way, unified in mind—even if we see life completely differently and through different lenses.

“I’m thankful for knowing who I am, and I choose NOW to stop using these self-deprecating words that you have used against me in the past to make me feel small. I am and will continue to say words of truth to myself, encouraging myself to be the best, because I am made of the best.”

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Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

Sign up for the mailing list and you will be the first to know about the Vlog and get some great hints on how to create easy ways to make great and healthy food. https://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=euba6yyab&p=oi&m=1126117148292&sit=4zezfe4kb&f=73a1949c-5582-4fe3-8ec4-d7a9c6604f38

Also, check out my new book: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.

https://www.amazon.com/Your-New-Story-Life-Metaphysical/dp/0993313469/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1465533075&sr=8-1&keywords=bo+sebastian

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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You  give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]

Different Boys Like Me #growingupdifferent #gayrights #spirituality #scienceandspirit

I remember the old Janis Ian song, “At Seventeen.” Her poignant lyric has been spinning in my brain all morning. As a teenager, I remember singing it and changing the lyrics from “ugly girls like me” to “different boys like me.” I always understood what it meant to be that unique, but misunderstood character whom everyone wanted to love, but did not know how.

The high school girls seemed to understand me, but the jocks thought I was too pretty and artistic, the nerds were scared to let me in for fear the jocks would disturb their quiet tribe.

I wondered why I couldn’t have been a football player or someone normal that everyone could love. Even at that young age, I sought truth from Spirituality. I remember studying many religions and searching for one that would accept me for who I am.

The many anxiously waiting religions that sought to initiate me into their community of believers all wanted change, the biggest change, a change I could not even vocalize then, was that they would not… could not… absolutely barring none, allow me to be gay! That was something I would have to change or forsake the idea of ever having something like a God to love me.

So, the next ten years were a balancing act, trying to decide what was more important, God or my authentic feelings about men. Probably for many, my story was the same. I wanted to be loved and accepted so badly that I chose to forsake my authenticity and conformed. For many years, I lived as a celibate minister caring for everyone but myself.

This scenario is less likely to happen today when acceptance and tolerance is law, but it does not mean that haters do not exist that wish to put every different person back in a closet in keep them locked there. We would wonder why. How could this different, artistic, spiritual boy threaten a muscular football player or a right-wing religious leader?

No one can tell the difference—by looks—who is gay and who is not. So, the threat to the paranoid is like the threat of the simple, nerd who turns out to be an ISIL follower.

When people cannot be easily identified and categorized, it disturbs people who live in isolated worlds, especially if they do not understand true spirituality and unconditional love. It would almost seem that compassion could only come from someone who has experienced what it feels like to be different.

So, we commune in flocks for safety. We move to cities with more of us to protect our laws. We vote for the political party that will protect our rights the most. We seek the religion or the spiritual path who will love us as we are. This is a good thing.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in January 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

The Aftermath of Bullying #bullying #selfesteem #beinggayinastraightworld

The Aftermath of Bullying
#bullying #selfesteem #beinggayinastraightworld

On World News, yesterday, a man who obviously had issues with rage and bullying was ordered by a judge to sit by the side of the road with a sign that read: “I AM A BULLY.” His terrible act was maligning a family with 3 disabled children, repeatedly. I sat with a friend while watching the news. My friend’s opinion: The bully should be jailed and the key thrown away. My friend has a close relative who is disabled, and he is a gay man. So, you can imagine that being bullied was a part of anyone’s life who has grown up different.

Personally, I used to get taunted everyday in high school. Sometimes, someone I didn’t even know would just pass me and say, “Faggot!” A couple times I got punched in the stomach and just simply fell over, wiped myself off, and put on a happy face for my next class. Life, being different, can be a challenge for anyone, whether it be sexuality, some kind of physical deformity, or something such as a religious belief that would cause you to have to wear a special head cover. Anything that makes you stand out as a child or young adult, will be fodder for bullying, you can be assured.

I’m thrilled that that the world and legislature and schools are punishing bullying more severely. This sends the message that’s it’s simply “not cool” to be an ass. And also teaches those children who idolize bullies that being in the “in crowd” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Ultimately, facing who you are and loving yourself is a big chore in today’s world. If you can’t love yourself, I wouldn’t expect to find relationships that are worthwhile, either. All of your relationships—friendships and intimate—are an expression of your self-esteem. So, take a good hard look at yourself. Either change what you don’t like, or make amends in your own heart for how you have bullied yourself, by repeating old, self-deprecating behavior over and over, until you believe these untruths about yourself. Loving yourself is the key to recreating a past filled with bullying.

This kind of change is all part of Finding Authentic You. Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1493679309/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends. 

Bullying and Porn—Connection?

Bullying and Porn—Connection?

A psychopath has no regard for the pain of others, who is only concerned about getting his/her own desires fulfilled. By what we accept and allow in our lives and on this earth, is all of humanity psychopathic? Where did this behavior originate.

Bullying is simply the ability to make one person feel stronger and more important than another by abusive words and actions. No one person can bully unless s/he has also experienced this in his/her own life. We only learn behaviors, we don’t invent them.

I believe pornography is a graphic example of how masculine dominance over women and each other produce the idea that to be effective sexually, we must exert either dominance or be willing to be dominated. Thus, the terms top and bottom come into significance. Bondage and other demeaning forms of sexuality only exhibit how extremely tainted the human mind can become when it combines sexual behavior with egocentric desires.

Over the years, I have had many clients who have been addicted to pornography. I have dealt with psychopathic behavior, child molesters, and men addicted to child porn, as well as the husband wanting to use porn to fill a gap in the emotional relationship. All of the above are issues that keep a person Avoidantly Attached.

You can’t trust a person who is capable of wanting to strangle you to satisfy him/herself sexual needs, so the only thing you do is attach on a physical level. You avoid the heart level and mellifluent love, and stick with what feels comfortable and will keep the sexually eschewed partner coming back for more, because your mind doesn’t understand and comprehend real secure attachment.

I think this recent outflow of bullying in pro sports and at schools and colleges is just another way this same kind of egocentric behavior is manifesting in society. We are doing well to bring it to the surface, shine a bright light on it, and begin to understand the deep workings of our old belief about strength and power.

Power vs. Force, a book written by David Hawkins, describes force as an energy that requires an equal and opposite reaction. Whereas, power is in itself a true model of resourceful energy, requiring no opposing force.

I like the idea as it pertains to our sports model and the masculine stereotype. If we begin to teach our minors about developing true power, instead of force with ideas from yoga and spirituality, we would resolve the need for anyone to take over and overthrow with excessive force and ego power.

We might also fix the problem we face with male dominant pornography that provides a “forceful” model for the male and doesn’t allow for tenderness and extreme intimacy. Maybe someday we will see companies producing pornography changing the paradigm of the past to encompass loving and tenderness during sex. So, those who go to porn for fantasy learn healthier behaviors. I know that’s asking a lot of the world, but one can only dream!

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Go to Week 3 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:

(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable

Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change

Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It

Step 4: A History Lesson—About You

Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion

Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change

Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:

Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

·       My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)

·       Introduction to Meditation

·       Smoke Cessation mp3

·       Weight Loss mp3

·       Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3

·       Insomnia mp3

·       Eternal Om mp3

·       Meditation Music mp3

·       Guide to Meditation mp3

·       Healing the Body mp3

·       And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.

Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day.  I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header. Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK:  “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!