Tucked Beneath Your Denial! #denial #whatstrending #spiritualgrowth #psychology

I have a friend who used to walk around everyday, all the time, smiling and perky. Sometimes I just want to slap her and say, “Really? Are you always this happy? Do you wake up this way? Isn’t there anything in your life that brings you down?”

One time, I actually got the nerve to ask. Her reply, “I love life! I wake up everyday like a kid on Christmas morning. I just can’t wait to see what life will bring me.” I just shook my head and thought, I wonder what’s underneath all that denial. I’m certain I don’t want to be there when the large bolder gets rolled away.

As she stayed friends with me until her death, I watched and waited. She had a boyfriend for whom she divorced her husband of twenty years. He was moving to Nashville to live with her. They had been dating and in love for two years by this time.

When he moved in, he had an anger problem that unraveled within months. One day, he got so angry that he pushed her down the steps. This led her to, of course, kick him out and break up. It also led her to therapy.

After the first few weeks of going through the pain of falling down the steps and the hurt of a break-up, the therapist began to help her remove the blocks (the denial) to her anger. The pain was so deep and so thick that when she would discuss it with me, I could only take it in doses. She was mad at almost everyone in her life, especially her family.

Eventually, she wound up with stage four colon cancer, (I’d assume from all of the pent-up rage). The cancer surged through her body in one year and consumed her life.

I tell this story, because this was one of my best friends in the world. I watched as if this lesson was for me. How much anger did I have hidden? What exactly would I do with those feelings when I found them? I decided to go to therapy and begin the search.

What I discovered was that behind each layer of denial was something painful. And, when I dealt with whatever issue I had, the lessons became deeper and richer. One by one, step-by-step, as I unloaded the hidden grief, I felt lighter and less burdened.

Maybe I couldn’t smile and be a bright beacon 24-7 to all of my friends and family. But I was being authentic, which was way more important for anyone to see. Each lesson I learned, ultimately, became the building blocks that secured the mainframe of my own sanity and made me the life coach I am today.

Today's featured book is “Finding Authentic You.” It's a book birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you'll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you'll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: 

Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and "being gay" defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Why Me?—The Victim Stage of Life #spiritualdevelopment #spiritualadvice #psychology

Why Me?—The Victim Stage of Life
#spiritualdevelopment #spiritualadvice #psychology

From our first breath we must trust someone—to feed us, to diaper us, to shelter us from harm. In the deepest part of our subconscious mind, we have neural pathways that desire to lay our fears down at the feet of security—any secure behavior. So, why is it that, when we become adults, our trust wanes for even the basic needs of our lives, food and shelter?

The why-me stage is a defining moment in everyone’s life when we realize that not all of life is going to be taken care of for us. A healthy person wakes up to personal responsibility, if his eyes are open, and learns to walk, run, feed herself, and even push doors open to get outside of his/her old needing paradigm.

When we are children, we can’t help but be narcissistic. Our entire world revolves around our needs. When parents break away from helping us, this is our chance to try out the use of our own legs, then our wills. As you can see from a young child, though, sharing isn’t something that happens normally. No, in fact, an infant must be taught that the world isn’t all about him or her. Sometimes, if the teacher of this lesson, is not so compassionate, we learn not only to share, but to share spitefully, then expect to taken care of all over again.

Carl learned at a young age that only time his mother paid attention to him was when she would dress him up like a little girl and dote on him. You see, his mother wanted a baby girl. Life didn’t give her what she desired, so she forced her baby boy into her own small world of discontent.

When Carl became an adult, he tried to walk away from the old messages from his mother, but eventually he ended up secretly dressing up like a woman, using his wife’s bra and panties. The wife discovered Polaroid pictures of Carl in their shed in a lockbox. After a year of counseling, she divorced him, because Carl wouldn’t give up his personal fantasy. The next week, the wife heard that Carl robbed a liquor store at night, then sat on the store’s steps waiting for the policeman to take him to jail. Carl never left the “why me” stage. Even as an adult, he needed someone to take care of his infant urges, so much so, that he forced himself to go to jail so that his shelter, food, and basic needs would be taken care of.

Not everyone has an issue this deep, but by this story, you can see the problem that exists when a person resists growing up out of the “why me” or just “What about me” syndrome. Everyone must learn that to get to any new stage in life, you must let go of the idea that anyone owes you anything. The next steps in life are certainly up to you.

So, if you sit alone wondering why you have a bad life, you never get the opportunity to move to the next stage of spiritual/psychological development, which is the “By Me” Stage. In this stage, we realize that life must happen as a result of good deeds, schooling, compassion, truth, and wisdom. If we don’t embrace the by-me stage, nothing much good happens for us. We don’t interact well with others, we lose jobs that helped us support ourselves, and we sit alone wondering why the world hates us.
Today, is a day we must take the opportunity to say: Life happens as I become the author of my own destiny!

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Chosen to show his new hypno-therapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel and also being chosen to teach at the world conference for Learning, Bo Sebastian, the writer and director of Finding Authentic You, helps people such as you make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, experience YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Challenge yourself with one of his 13 books, healing CDs (weight loss and relaxation) or Yoga DVD on Amazon or Amazon/Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+se%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]

The leaving Cellar is a novel based on the ideas mentioned in this blog, by Bo Sebastian.