Nowhere in life deserves more importance than living your truth within the safe boundaries you have constructed. These boundaries help maintain your intimate security and, ultimately, your health and sanity.
I used to co-facilitate a group for the morbidly obese, dealing with struggles around maintaining weight loss after bariatric and LapBand surgeries. For most of the participants and, particularly for those who were preparing for the surgery, the class was a mandated requirement.
Here is what I learned:
The result of not maintaining safe boundaries is addiction!
This could be addiction to food, as it was with this group, or drugs, or alcohol or cigarettes, or a combination of many of these. But people who give away their power, take it back with addictive behavior.
You might not be able to control your mother, but you can control how much food you eat. You might not be able to control how your husband treats you, but you can control that bottle of vodka when he leaves. You may not be able to control your boss, but you can control that cigarette on your 10-minute break at work.
When you think of your greatest assets in life, you want to protect them. You get safety deposit boxes for documents and stocks and diamonds. But, when you have highly discernable truth that you must maintain, you give it away on the street corner, not thinking once about how valuable it is. Then, you wonder why you have gained 50 pounds.
For me, nowhere is this more prevalent than in my 10 extra pounds that comes on and off as I release my boundaries over and over again to people in my life whom I love and want to please. But, these same people keep bulldozing over every safe boundary that I construct.
Every time I get frustrated, I eat. I can exercise for two hours a day and keep the majority of the weight off, but ultimately, that weight sneaks up on me. Suddenly, the ten pounds is back to remind me that I am not taking care of my heart and, ultimately, letting my safe boundaries slip away—again.
In a life where every day the future seems to get bleaker and less safe, the least we can do for ourselves is provide safe measures in which to live a healthy and sane life. Below is a good way to begin this process:
- Today, make a list of ways people tread over your boundaries.
- Using this list, find ways you can take back your power.
- Most importantly, begin to take steps forward to regain your power.
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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I've been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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